Is he just using me for sex?

I started seeing a guy who I've known in college for several years. We were never close friends and we never actually hung out until about three months ago when we started sleeping together. He's always been nice and sweet, and I like him a lot. He told me the first time we hooked up that he's wanted to get to know me for awhile and he really likes me too. He's taken me out on "dates" like to dinner, the movies, art shows, etc. However, every single time we see each other, especially lately, we end up having sex for the majority of the time we're together. Yesterday, for example, I show up to his house thinking we were going to eat, or watch a movie or something, and the minute I walk in the door, he takes me to his bedroom. It's great and everything, but I'm starting to think that's all he's interested in. We also only see each other about once a week, if less, so I'm thinking I'm just there for when he needs to get laid kind of thing. What the heck is going on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes.. to me this seems all that he wants from you.. and seen as you are not really saying anything to stop this from happening.. he now just expects it any time and all the time.. guys like him are a dime a dozen in this world.. as sex is what most want and they can charm the pants off of you or any women to get it and also get into your good grace's so that they know you are not going to fight them on this issue or any other one they come up with

    Not all are like this but many are.. It is your body and you can do things as you see fit.. but you did ask the question.. and this is my honest opinion to it.. I do hope everything works out for you in the long run.. but you have to put your foot down a little bit harder.. before he will just expect more and more that everything he says will fly.. and when he wants it.

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    • Thank you for your honesty. I know you're right, I should be a little more respectful to myself.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi sweetheart, Im not quite sure what he wants out of this relationship
    Either he does just want you for sex or he does really like you but some guys are really horny
    to test him out, whenever you see him, say you dont want to have sex you just wanna spend some quality time with him like at home with a cooked meal or the movies x

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What Guys Said 6

  • I think what you need to ask yourself is how much you care. Do you want a relationship? Or do you just need the sex yourself? There is no shame in giving in to your sexual needs. Now if you have feelings for him, and you want a relationship, then this can become unhealthy and you need to set your boundaries sooner rather than later. You don't want to get your heart broken because you were too scared to communicate with him. You haven't discussed the relationship status with him yet, so he can't be held responsible for your feelings. If you tell him you don't want to just be a booty call, he may be done with you, or he may make you his girl. At that point its gonna be give and take, but you have to get there first.

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  • Unless he has married you, yes, that is all he is interested in.

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  • Yea he is using you sorry... But hey it's ok! You get free sex out of it!

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  • If you're only seeing each other weekly, it's not surprising he'd want to have sex badly by that point.

    THe question is why are you only seeing each other weekly?

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  • Sorry to say this, but it kinda sounds like he is using you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Didn't I see this question already?
    Um... hello? Of course he's using you. That's all you're good for to him. Notice how he takes you straight to his bedroom. He doesn't care about you. I'd gain some dignity and drop him if it bothers you.

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    • I haven't asked this before.
      Okay, thanks for the advice, you're totally right.

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    • Thank you for saying that. I think I've just had a lot of really bad relationships lately so I've become used to things like that. But you're right, I've got to start having standards.

    • Yes, please. Do it for yourself, it will pay off.
      Just see this opportunity to start afresh.
      Take care of your soul

  • You need to set boundaries and expectations so everyone is clear before you start having sex.

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