Should I play the field or commit?

So I am currently studying abroad for a year and it has been mental so far (I've been here for about a month). I've been quite successful with the ladies on nights out and stuff, but I've met this one girl who I actually like, we've kissed a few times at parties and we went on a date the other day.

I really don't know if I should commit to one girl whilst I'm over here on this once in a lifetime experience, yet the one nights stands really don't do much for me on an emotional or mental level. I feel like if I were to keep seeing this girl it would get progressively more serious and we could end up dating for sure.

Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks 😊

  • Commit
    75% (40)46% (22)61% (62)Vote
  • Play the field
    25% (13)54% (26)39% (39)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you like her, continue to see her.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • " the one nights stands really don't do much for me on an emotional or mental level."

    I think you just answered your own question. If you just want to have as many hookups with random partners that's fine, but based on that quote it seems like you're looking for more.

    Sexual fulfillment is wonderful, but emotional fulfillment is equally great and not a mutually exclusive concept to sexual fulfillment either. I feel it tends to heighten the experience when you care about your lover on an emotional level.

    If you want to chase a commitment then do so. So what if you're only there for a short period of time? There's no guarantee you can have a long standing relationship in your permanent place of residence. If there's something special between you and this girl you can make it work, but even if it doesn't last after you have to leave at least you made a connection with someone for a short period of time. You can look back later in life and know that it lasted as long as it could have which is better than wondering what could have been.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I would try to focus on your studies and continue to take advantage of your luck with the ladies as you have some charm which has you meeting many and having good sexual experiences, but if you're time there is limited i'd be cautious about commitment due to this, but always be honest with the girl you're with or seeing as to not lead anyone on. Enjoy your time there, you only live once!

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  • You've already played the field before. The point of playing the field is to keep your options open until you find "the one" and it looks like you've found her.

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  • If you really like her, then go be with her.
    What means more to you, losing your chance at several one night stands that you say dont do anything for you, or losing a chance with a girl you really like forever?

    Its up to you. Do what makes you happy. Dont let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do because in the end, you're making that decision for yourself.

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  • You've already played the field while abroad so just commit and have your "once in a lifetime experience" of dating a girl from the country that your studying abroad in.

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  • I wouldn't want to get attached to someone you're going to have to leave at the end of the year or semester

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  • What you actually meant to ask is, should I commit or should I keep fucking multiple women at random places?

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  • How can you commit if you're gonna leave in a year anyway.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Hmm it seems that you're more interested on the girl than on playing the field. I have a feeling that you're kinda "forced" to play the field. You know, society tells you that you're a man, living abroad for a year, you gotta bang the local chicks. But you don't have to especially if you say it doesn't do much for you.

    If you think a relationship with that girl can last even after you move back home, then I'd say go for her, but if you're sure you can never be together forever, then leave her, cause it's gonna be easier now than after stronger feelings arise.

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  • Like you said, one night stands can be fun, but they don't add too much on an emotional or mental level.

    Being in a relationship, even if it's with someone who's definitely not perfect for you or without being crazy in love, could qualify as a once in a lifetime experience if you keep an open mind.

    Good luck. ;)

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  • As men, we the choice is not up to us.

    We must play the field. It is our duty and obligation and purpose.

    It is up to women to convince us to settle down and commit. Until somebody comes along in your life and makes a convincing argument to commit, keep playing.

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  • Being abroad, I would play the field. You're leaving the country in a very short time anyway, no need to get attached. :-D

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  • Buddy, anyone who commits in their 20's is the dumbest shit on the planet. I would take a piece of paper, write down 50. Bang that many, then settle. By that time you would be such a master with women that you will be able to steal any girl from all those who commited.

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  • If you feel yourself becoming needy again when you're dating this girl, i highly suggest you kept playing the field until your social skills heightened and feeling the sense of abundance for a long time.

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  • Hmm committing has been more rewarding for me, but its different for every dude.

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  • Why'd you "commit" in college? Wtf

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  • Never commit until you're uninterested in dating anyone else.

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  • "if you like it then you should put a ring on it"

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  • What country are you in? Play the field until you are sure about her.

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  • i find playing the field to be nothing but a waste of time.

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  • If you really like her then I say commit. If not then I say play the field.

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  • Play the field, never commit to a bitch she'll have another guy in her soon enough.

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  • Why buy the cows when the milk is free?

    Haven't found a girl worth a relationship.

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  • Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

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  • focus on your life and get on your feet in a strong way and after everything is stable then everything will fall into place dont let anything destroy what you have going for you

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  • I studied abroad for a year and I committed. We just agreed that when I left it would end. It was super painful to end it, but it was for the best. In the end, I her a lot and I was happy to have called her my girlfriend for 7 months.

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