Yes, I know boys take longer to mature
Yes, I admit that I have slight "daddy issues"
No, I'm not immaturely seeking affection in the wrong ways
Yes, I have always been and old soul/mature for my age/overly developed for a "youngster" (I've heard them all and more)
And, finally, YES: I understand I shouldn't get involved with anyone too much older than me
Now that that's out of the way, here are the details:
Since I was 15 years old, I've always been attracted to older men. (Late 20s-40s) As mentioned before, I know this is partially due to some issues in my familial life. (I am taking steps to repair those things.) However, I've always sought the protectiveness in a man. Nowadays, it seems like that is frowned upon. I feel like every time I open my mouth, feminists are going to come charging at me along with following mini-stampedes of independence. I know it's a stereotype, but it's been very true in my case so far. I understand these are normal feelings and also abnormal. Sometimes I worry it is unhealthy to not be attracted to anyone my age or even a little bit older than me.
In my life, I have always been the protector. I've always been the strong one for my friends, family, and whoever else needed it. Because of this I've never been allowed (more accurately, never allowed myself) to show my weaknesses to anybody. (That is something else I've been working on improving.)
Because of this, I've always wanted a man who would stand up for me, protect me, and offer me stability and security and safety. In a way, I'm asking for these things because I'm tired of doing all of it myself. I've always been independent. If something's not going to get done that needs to be, then I'll do it. I've never "needed" a man and I still don't. But I don't think it "weak" of me to strongly desire one.
What do men think of all this? (I know it was a ton of information.) Do they think it’s weird, “cute”, immature, etc? Or do they like it?
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There sits a mirror between us, my friend.
I am extremely similar. I have always been someone's shoulder to cry on, The person someone comes to. I stand as a wall, and while I do like being a wall for them, I also want someone that I can lean on, tell them all the problems I have. Someone to hold me when I'm sad, and tell me it's okay.
I personally do not think that is weak of you, to want that. I think everyone should have a rock in their life.1