He has friends, he goes out, doesn't let me have friends or let me out?

I've been with my boyfriend for years. Things went quite quick and within a year I was pregnant. 10 years later I'm lonely.. I've only realised how lonely I am. I had friends before I was pregnant but stopped hanging around when I got together with him. I recently made a new friend and I never told him just saying I was going out to a pub for a drink and I'd be home in a couple of hours, I assumed it be ok because he does it and before would disappear for days on end. He screamed in my face and told me no, I was upset but eventually he took me to my new friends house and me and my friend went out. I was out an hour and he was phoning up crying telling me to come home I told him no I was out as it was first time in 10 years, he then got my daughter to call me up to tell me to come home.. my friend had enough took my phone from me and told him I was allowed out once in a while to enjoy myself.. it got so bad I had to call my mum to tell him as it was embarrassing me. I got home that night around 12 and he kept me up all night asking me the same questions over and over. I told my new friend I can't talk to her no more and made some excuse, for first time in years I felt normal and I enjoyed myself. I've nowhere to go to, I can't leave I'm stuck in what I can describe is total hell. I'm not allowed messaging apps but he has every single one, not that I have anyone to talk to on them anyway, he tells me to go out but as long as it's to my mums or sisters. I'm sitting here thinking why it's took me so long to see what he was like? Have I been on another planet I don't know.. just sick of the lonliness, there's absolutely nowhere I can go to I've tried leaving to my mums or sisters but he just sits outside for hours until my family get sick of it. I told my mum I wanted to leave him and she said the grass isn't greener on the other side.
Am I being selfish?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like a control freak. If you can't make him understand that, maybe you should leave. At the very least, you could try getting out when he's out too so he won't know and bug you about it. Give you some freedom for a bit until you sort things out with him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No I say leave you can't let him destroy your life. If you have to go under the radar for him to leave you alone do it. The fact that he can go out and do things and you can't means he is hiding something and he is a control freak. You need your own identity outside of the relationship and he won't let you. Is there a way you can stay at your sisters and get a restraining order on him he will leave call the cops he will leave. Get out before its to late. You can have friends don't let him tell you what you can do. Your friend who you stopped talking to might can help you. Once you get toxic people out your life all the good things start happening

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 4

  • Than he would never be my bf! lol

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  • Can I ask you this? Has he hit you? Because if he hasn't thats great but it beyond the point.

    You need to think about your daughter with this it is pathetic that he used her to get to you and imagine how horrible she felt when doing that she was most likely feeling like she was decieving her mum believe me I was put in that position before. My advice is to leave him its obviouse he is trying to control you and that not healthy for you. What Im reading here doesn't sound like Love its sounds like a guy trying to control and break a woman who by the sounds of it is so bubbly and was liked by eveyone and is fun to be around... so my advice is for your daughter and yourself leave him and dont let him break you, you should be with people and then find soneone who loves you for you like your friends and mother for example. Be with them and get you back.

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  • Leave him if you have a stable job or place to go and take your kid too.

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  • he is just lucky to have You, you are very patient, you are not selfish he is too jealousy & worried to lose u, is that ur husband Or boyfriend

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