I been dating boyfriend for 3 months. He is a good guy and we are in love. We are both 24 years old. He has no job right but is looking. He is serious about a relationship with me. He wants me to give him $200 to help pay an electric bill for his house his sister is giving him. He took me to the beach for Valentine's Day plus he bought me an outfit and other gifts. His sister has been helping him whenever he needs money. Until now this is the first time he has asked me to give him money. It's nothing for me to give him $200. he has plans of owning his own business soon and is trying to get that started also while looking for a job. I'm just wondering girls would you do this for your boyfriend or what does it mean if I give him the money?
God no. People take on too much responsible too soon in relationships now a days, and they get too serious too fast. Even if you had been dating him for awhile, you still shouldn't do it. You should only even consider it after a somewhat firm commitment (engaged or married) has been established.
My cousin had dated this guy for years. He bought a house without consulting her. She helped him furnish it. It turns out that he was and had been cheating on her. She is out thousands of dollars.
You've only known him for 3 months and he's already asking for money.
"his sister is giving him"
"His sister has been helping him whenever he needs money."
Big red flag. How is he supposed to pay you back if he can't even handle his own affairs? He has no backup plan and sounds financially irresponsible. How on earth does he plan on starting a business, if he doesn't even have 200 bucks saved up? A business requires some kind of capital to start with and he sounds like he's in fuckloads of debt, relying on other people to bail him out.
I love my boyfriend and if he needed £200 for something, I'd happily give it. But we've been an item for 4 years and living together - I can trust him to keep his promises. You, on the other hand, are in that lovey dovey stage where you are at risk of easily being manipulated because stomach butterflies are in charge rather than common sense.
A 3 month relationship isn't worth the risk, unless you're happy to never see your money again.
You said the $200 is essentially nothing, to you. If that's true, then, if I was in yr shoes, I'd just give it to him, and not worry about "being paid back" or any other sort of even-the-score kind of deal.
I mean, the way I see relationships is that each person is willing to help out the other, if and when the other needs help. Life doesn't have a scoreboard, and life doesn't have credits and debits, so, I see little point in considering it as a debt to be repaid -- unless that's a particular point of pride for HIM.
Worst case scenario, if this turns out to be step #1 in a pattern of using you for yr financial support, that shouldn't take too long to figure out. If that kind of pattern emerges, then, call the $200 a sunk cost, and head for the hills.
I think you really need to think about why you are second guessing giving him the money. Obviously if it's not a problem for you to give away $200 then it's not that bad. But why are you hesitating? Is there something about your relationship with him that is making you doubt?
I'm giving you the same advice I have given many people on here regarding relationships and money. If you want to give him the money, fine. But don't give it with the expectation that you will ever see that money again. If you are okay with that thought, then give the money. However, if you are not okay with it, then do not give it.
Also, as some other's have said, this could become a pattern. Maybe he is asking for the money from you to see if you would actually do it. His sister seems to help him currently, so why is she not helping him now. And she's giving him a house? It just seems kind of odd to me that she would give him the house, yet leave him with the $200 hydro bill when she knows he has no job and no money and she is able to help him so far.
2 months isn't very long in a relationship. And money always causes problems, in my experience. I think you really need to sit down and think about whether you are going to be okay with the situation.
Sure, you should give it to him if you really want to but don't make it a habit. There's really a fine line between someone who genuinely asks for help, and then someone who sees that you say yes the first time, and then starts to make a pattern out of it. Just be careful, is all I am saying!
Well it's totally up to you. If $200 is really nothing to you financially, then do it but be sure it's a gift and that you don't hold it over him. Is the house one that you are going to live in with him? Who gets a house as a gift? LOL.