Is 9 months too soon for her to move in with me?

Weve both agreed we want to and are sure of eachother. Its the best move for both of us financially and to get her out of her parents and closer to work. We mainly dont want other people judging us... should we care?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't give a crap. I've done it sooner than you and I didn't care what people say and they did comment.
    I was a student, met my boyfriend on summer vacation and my new flat was available only two weeks after the beginning of classes. For two weeks I stayed at his place (we had been together for less than a month) and I never left. I had a flat, with almost no furniture on the side and was basically living with him... after a month. I kept my flat for another four month. I only slept one night in that flat and he was there.

    People are judging because they think "what if they break up". Well, one of you would have to find another flat and that's it. Right now, you are happy, want to live together and share the expenses. It's perfectly normal.

    • im generally along the same mindset. i get what the guys are saying "generally sucks living with a chick" sure i get that shit but she's basically spending as much time as possible at my place but has none of her shit there and won't bring any cuz she feels bad she doesn't pay rent and she really can't for another month anyways but still.

      also its kind of created sepparation with her and her parents. which also reflects poorly upon me. they keep fighting telling her she has to pick one of the other. im just on the outside trying to accomodate. she literally triples her commute when she doesn't stay at my place.

    • The "living with a chick sucks" is something that most men don't think. Men who are ready to get serious with their girlfriend have no problem with it.
      As for her parent's reaction, they just don't make sense. They obviously don't want to admit that she's growing up but asking to choose is pretty immature. They should be happy that she's living her life and growing up.
      I guess I was pretty lucky on that part because my dad had a really good reaction when I moved in with my boyfriend. My brother called me stupid for it though ^^.
      You're being smart about it, I hope it will turned out well for you

    • as long as we stay together and happy with eachother i will be happy. i just feel for all the stress she's going through. i think the fact she's not home to take care of her dog, and her younger brother is the issue her parents are having. the dog comes when she moves in but the brother stays obvi. but i think the fact that she "technically lives with her parents" means she ahs certain obligations at home that she's not upholding. like i get it I've been there, but yes i think the being hard on her is just causing disdain.

      i do not think living a chicks sucks im just saying i get where the guys here are coming from. and i agree i think most guys will disagree secretly but really would prefer to have a woman around.

What Girls Said 1

  • If you feel you are ready to move in, you should be prepared for the naysayers. Not to be mean, but it will definitely test your relationship. What do her parents think about the situation?

    You can't really prevent people from disagreeing with your lifestyle. But you both have to be ready for the criticisms.

    My cousin got married really young, she was only 18 years old. And my family kept it a secret. I basically said, and still say to this day (because it's still a secret years later), that if she felt she was old enough to get married, she should be able to handle the criticism and face everyone.

    I'm not saying what she did was wrong, but if you firmly believe what you are doing is right, then why worry about what other people say?

    If it makes sense for you financially and romantically to be living together, then go for it! There is no set timeline for when people move in together. But make sure you both have a plan in case things go south.

    I moved in with a guy who I had only been dating for about 5 months. It didn't work out, he was emotionally abusive and it was the worst time of my life. My work suffered as did I mentally and physically.

    Just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!

    Moving in with a lover for the first time is really exciting. I think part of the reason I pushed for it so much is because I really wanted to believe my life was finally coming together. I have really struggled romantically to find partners who actually care and value me in relationships. And So I guess part of that was also pressure seeing all of my friends settling down, I wanted that too.

    But just make sure you are actually sure of this before anything gets too serious.

    • see my comment on bombamboum above. im 100% it what we both want. just not 100% how its gunna go in the future. but obviously thats a ligitimate feeling. were not young. she's 21 im 24 so maybe for her but i feel like women always make this step younger anyways. most guys date a younger girl. but yes i think both our parents will be critical, but they will absolutely respect the decision.

What Guys Said 3

  • Just make sure you are having her move in because you love her and want to be with her, not to make it more financially and commute time convenient. I would date at least a year first though.

  • You ever lived with a woman before? I'd put that shit off as long as possible. lmao

  • I'd wait a year but if yiu are both ready, go for it