So what are we?

So I work with this guy and we've been involved for the past couple months. We started as friends and admitted to a strong mutual attraction. We both agreed that we don't want anything serious right now, though I told him I needed to be more than friends with benefits and he agreed to that. But I'm trying to figure out exactly WHAT we are. He comes to my desk to chat at least two or three times a day, and we eat lunch together every day. We also are on a softball team together, which meets once a week, and he always picks me up and then we kiss when he drops me off. However we really only "date" on the weekends. Sometimes alone and sometimes meeting other friends, but he always picks me up and pays for me, and then he usually spends the night after. (And yes, the sex is great and he loves to cuddle me after). Plus, he's offered to let me use his dryer when mine was broken, plus his friends all know me and love me, things like that. We get along so well, it seems simple and easygoing, but basically I see him everyday, even though we don't always go out and sometimes it's only at work (I don't usually feel the need to go on a date after work anyway, I'm usually busy/tired, and so is he). But he never booty calls me. I'm the one who invites him upstairs and who initiated the first physical contact. So I'm wondering, how would you define this? It feels like a good thing and exactly what I'm looking for right now, with exactly the right balance of personal space versus friendship versus dating/sex (aka not too much or too little of anything), so I guess a label really isn't necessary right now... However I'm just curious to hear an opinion.

Updates:
Also as of right now, neither of us is dating anyone else, or plans to, even though it hasn't been defined as exclusive

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What Guys Said 1

  • " I told him I needed to be more than friends with benefits and he agreed to that. "... what guy is going to say NO, LMFAO... He'll say "NO"to the BF/relationship thing after hitting it.

    "It feels like a good thing and exactly what I'm looking for right now, with exactly the right balance of personal space versus friendship versus dating/sex" ----- Sound like FWBs to me... at least that's what I'm doing with my girls.

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    • Out of curiosity do you have lunch with these girls everyday? Do you take them out on dates and pay for them? Do all your friends know them?

    • And for that matter by your definition what would constitute a relationship? (Note that I'm not trying to be snarky, I'm just trying to understand)

    • Only real difference is love and the commitment to each other. The last part is what changes the whole dating dynamics and usually the relationships down fall. With the "commitment" people get controlling/insecure/ jealous, and then the arguing that goes along with it, LOL.

What Girls Said 0

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