Is emotional abuse just as bad as physical abuse?

My boyfriend hits me. He did it 4 times now he said I emotionally abuse him. Which I don't. But he said emotional abuse is just as bad as getting hit. I think that's wrong

Updates:
The reason I asked is because I was trying to hug him and I sneezed and it got on him he thought I did it on purpose and he grabbed my neck and wouldn't let go I have red marks and nail marks on my neck. Then I went downstairs in my level he ran down there and threatened me told me to watch myself

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Both are extremely bad. There is no competition because both can traumatize a person. But you need to get out of the relationship i don't care if you sneezed of him or stepped on his toe. His reaction is so extreme i can't even put into words on how u need to get out of there. That man ain't no good sweetheart! and before he does something that he regrets later on i think you need to get a move on it.
    TAKE CARE of yourself :)

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What Guys Said 27

  • @MrDetermind is right. What is wrong with some people today? They act as if physical abuse wouldn't cause emotional problems much worse than anything anyone can say to you or as if the person physically abusing you isn't generally insulting you at the same time. The minute a SO hits you for any reason, you should leave. It's almost never justified and, in the few cases that it might be (self-defense), the relationship has turned toxic, hostile, and dangerous, and it's time to leave anyway. It generally only gets worse. And he's done it four times now, so he's obviously not going to stop anytime soon—if ever.

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  • the only difference is that physical abuse leaves physical scars otherwise the two abuses are the same. both can cause emotional damage though.

    abuse is wrong. don't waste time comparing which abuse is worse. no one should be in a relationship where they are abused. and being abused is no excuse for abusing someone

    it sounds to me like you two need to sort this junk out or break up

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  • i would prefer to be physically abused than mentally but thats considering female punches... if she came at me with a knife then i would prefer the mental abuse. i doubt your mentaly abusing him. he's probable just an insecure loser... i would say in your case he's in the wrong by far

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  • You need to stand up for yourself, don't let him abuse you. I understand it is difficult, he doesn't respect you and thinks he owns you or something. If he can't get it together tell him he can find himself someone else. For many years I let other people tell me what to do with my life and thought that if I just pleased everyone else I would be fine. I can tell you, that path only leads to bad stuff. If a man cannot appreciate you he doesn't deserve you.

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  • I think your boyfriend is an abuser in general who tries to put the blame on you because he is too immature to understand his own impulses

    Clearly he shouldn't be your boyfriend

    Anyone's boyfriend, really.

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  • yeppers

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  • Yes, it is. However physical abuse is sn immediate threat to a persons safety. Its not an excuse the guy is an idiot right now, he shouldve left you instead of be that guy... you should probably leave him i dnt know if y'all have kids or not but if u do tell his parents his friends etc

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  • Oh it definitely is just as bad, just in a different way. You guys are obviously not right for each other though, break up.

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  • Emotional abuse hurts a lot.
    Did he say what you did exactly?
    Physical heals but leaves emotional scars from your partner hitting you.

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  • The second your SO hits you, you should leave them. There's really no reason adults need to be hitting one another, come on.

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  • In some ways it's worse but abuse is abuse whether it's physical or emotional and both are wrong.

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  • I'd say that they hurt in different ways, but both leave equal marks for life

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  • Looks like He is a patient from a mental hospital...
    But the real question is why are you with him? its time you breakup with him already...
    Unless and ofcourse you have low confidence or self esteem

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  • It's worse. Leave him, leave him, seriously, get your ass from that guy, sooner the better, run, get way from him.

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  • yes it is both are damaging to your self worth. and you should leave just like if he hit you

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  • Well physical abus cause emotional damages and emotional abuse cause physical damage , both are wrong , and you should leave tour boyfriend RIGHT NOW

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  • Abuse is abuse and why does it matter which is worse?

    Point is peace out.

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  • While emotional abuse can be just as bad, that gives him no right to physically abuse you. His reason is really stupid, too. Even if you do emotionally abuse him (not saying you do), that gives him no right. It's not normal. Don't try to justify it. You've gotta get out of that relationship ASAP.

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  • Emotional abuse is terrible. It is indeed just as bad as physical, but in a different, indescribable way. But a violent or physically abusive boyfriend is a serious issue; there is no excuse to hurting someone. If you are doing everything on your part right, or if he is using the emotional abuse as an excuse, then just break up with him. This relationship is unhealthy for you. With this in mind, try to sort out your problems together, first.

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  • I'd say physical is worse, but both are terrible.

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  • It's worse.

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  • No, only women and foolish men would say so.

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  • yes, it is flesh can be healed but heart can't

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  • No, it's worse. You can't arrest an emotionally abusive asshole!!

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  • If he hits you, you should leave him.

    And yes, it's wrong, physical abuse is worse.

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  • Depends did you ever insert anything into his rectum? Baby carrots? lead pencils, an old spyglass perhaps?

    Just have a look around and see how he feels about that. If he is sad or offended maybe it is an abuse.

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  • No its worse emotional abuse in some cases will never heal

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What Girls Said 23

  • They're both very damaging. However, it's difficult for me to believe that you are abusive towards him just knowing what I know about the cycle of abuse. Abusers will often try to manipulate their victims into thinking they're the cause of their abuse. In any case, get out.

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  • They're both equally as bad. Break up.

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  • Emotionally abusing someone is a real shitty thing to do, so in a way, yeah, it is just as bad.

    BUT... nobody has the right to hit someone! Get out of this relationship NOW... RUN! All he is doing is using (and by the sounds of it, making up) excuses to justify his hitting. This is NEVER going to get any better, and he is NEVER going to stop. This relationship is unhealthy for the both of you! LEAVE.

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  • Well let's see I'm going through basically emotional verbal abuse and I'd have to say no it isn't worst it leaves basically the same scars. Yes some you see others you don't regardless they're still there and they still hurt.

    I know to say leave him now is easier said than done trust me I know. However, either way this could escalate.

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  • Emotional abuse is often more powerful than physical abuse, but I'm not sure whether or not you are actually emotionally abusive. Just from reading your question it doesn't sound like you are. It sense as though he is blaming you for his violent outbursts. I don't know the full situation, but the best thing for you to do is break up with him, as it sounds like the violence is only escalating.

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  • Yes it is.
    It doesn't justify him hitting you though.
    Two wrongs don't make a right.
    If your relationship is abusive, break up.

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  • they both suck. but i'd rather take verbal/emotional abuse over getting my face punched or whatever.

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  • Ok psycho boyfriend

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  • Both are bad but a guy shouldn't be hitting you under any circumstance where his life isn't threatened, dump him

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  • Its just as bad.

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  • I think they come together...
    being hit by your loved one puts you in depression, self hate etc...

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  • Abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter in which form it comes in. Emotional, sexual, physical or neglect, they are all damaging. One is not better or worse than the other, as pain cannot be quantified. But nevertheless abuse is occurring in your relationship and it needs to stop.

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  • Abuse of any sort is wrong and harmful. Get yourself out that relationship asap

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  • No kind of abuse is good. It sounds like he is emotionally abusive if he is saying that to you.

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  • That is wrong, I would get away from that situation, a real man doesn't hit women

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  • emotional abuse are worst

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  • It is bad thing equally

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  • To answer your question emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse.

    However there's no reason to justify him hitting you. You need to leave this man. He is the real abuser here, physical and emotional one. He is guilt tripping you to make you think you deserve it.

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  • Worse. Those scars don't heal

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  • Emotional abuse I think is worse, it's much harder to heal, and it might not ever heal. I was on an abusive relationship, I got lucky to get out before it got physical, but I have emotional scars that might not ever heal.

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  • leave him his a jerk and can't call him a man coz with those fists he's supposed to protect you not hit you.

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  • I was in an emotionally absuive relationship. Verbally as well. Although physical and emotional are both horrible, as Crazy as it sounds I wish sometimes he would have just hit me instead. I still have the emotional scars from him and he's basically sent me in a downward depression spiral.

    But I would leave him because it sounds like he's doing both.

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  • First off, physically beating someone is completely different. If he felt that he had to lay hands on you because he felt like you were emotionally abusing him then he should've been broke it off with you and moved on. But finding an excuse to hit someone is flat out crazy and wrong on so many levels.

    The fact that you're asking this question makes me think you're trying to justify him hitting you. And making me believe you think it's your fault. Girl, if it was your little sister going through this same situation, what would you say to her? Uhhhhh, you deserve way better. And if you continue to be in a relationship where a guy can put hands on you because you love them, you will never be happy.
    Do you not think you deserve way better? Seriously, be honest.

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