I've been single for 2 years (not by choice). I've been actively dating with no luck. For a long time I thought the issue was my weight so I lost 25 lbs. Recently, I started a dating an older man for the first time. He is 33 and I'm 25. He asked for monogamy (not to be my boyfriend, but for us to date monogamously). While that goes against my beliefs, I agreed. I expressed that for my needs to feel met I need to receive at least one text a day and, although he said yes, he does not comply with this. I recently learned that although I usually have a secure attachment style, his behavior leads me to act in an anxious attachment style way. I don't know if he's an avoidant attachment style or secure and i'm just overreacting. My responses to his behavior have led to severe bouts of depression and anxiety attacks that I overcome using coping skills. I'm not sure if my focus should be on myself and letting the relationship maintain its course and secretly not be monogamous so i'm able to get my needs met OR communicate that my needs aren't being met and I can't be monogamous which I think would lead to us ending what we have. As of today, I haven't heard from him in 4 days (completely unacceptable behavior for someone I am monogamous with).
- Overreacting, focus on yourselfVote A
- Communicate your needsVote B
- Just end itVote C