Is it too soon to discuss exclusivity?

I'm 36, he is 47, yes I know I seem too old to be asking this question, but it's a genuine question and I seek your advice. I never had to ask before because guys I've been with before made it clear early on that they want to be my boyfriends.

We have been dating 4 months now. We don't see each other that often because we live a little far from each other and he also travels quiete a bit for work. He is also a workaholic. I see him once a week and we have a good time whenever together. The only thing we have ever discussed is that we are sexually exclusive? Is this the same thing as dating exclusively? I don't know.

I have a couple of reasons for wanting to know where does he think things are going. For starters, I feel like we don't spend time as much as we should, there seems to be 100 other personal things competing with me at the same time (whenever he has to see me). I just want to know if we will ever get to a point where we see each other more than once a week. I want to find out if this is worth it, if I'm not just wasting time. I really like this guy a lot and he seems to feel the same way when we are together. But sometimes, I question whether or not he is taking this seriously.

He is a really shy guy and according to him, he had not dated for a while before he met me. So, I don't know if he is acting on the side of caution or what? Is he shy to bring up the topic?

two questions- is it too soon to talk about "where do you see this going"

Second - how do I even go about discussing this, I have never discussed taking a relationship to the next level. Any pointers will be great.



What Guys Said 1

  • 4 months sounds right to me.

    Just say "We've been dating for 4 months, are you interested in anyone else?"

    "Want to be exclusive?"

    • Sounds simple enough- thank you!

What Girls Said 1

  • It makes sense to have that conversation in your situation. I would say something simple like "Are you seeing anyone else? I think we would be a great couple."