I'm 32 and never had a boyfriend... is it strange?

In my 32 years of living, I've never once had a boyfriend or been on a date. Growing up, I was a nerdy girl who didn't socialize much and I think this might have intimidated guys. In my early 20's I always told myself "If I can't have a boyfriend, then I can focus on my studies"... and when I graduated college and got my first job, I I kind of told myself the same thing "If I can't have a boyfriend then I can focus on advancing my career"... well now here I am at the ripe old age of 32 and still single. Instead of making more excuses, I want to know why I haven't been approached ever by a guy?

I am an athletic and thin white woman, with fairly large boobs and blonde hair. I am very quiet and have trouble socializing at times, but my appearance should matter more for guys? At least one guy should have approached me by now. This is depressing me

  • Yes, that's very weird
    76% (25)53% (30)61% (55)Vote
  • No, that's fine
    24% (8)47% (27)39% (35)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I say this is strange, because you never felt it important enough to work on your social skills, which is one of the most important skills a person can have... because networking is important in all aspects with life.

    You took the initiative to focus on your studies and career... now it is time to focus on your social life. :)

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    • I find it more shocking to hear of a woman being single this long compared to a guy since women don't have to approach and be the initiators

What Guys Said 31

  • Yes, that is strange.

    My first thought was, "Are you fat?" But you said no.

    It is true that the average man is intimidated by extremely smart women.

    My suggestion is to try online dating because you will have a large pool of prospects. Then, meet anyone and everyone who passes your basic filter (has a job and is not a criminal). After meeting a few dozen guys, you will start to understand what kind of guy you like and what kind of guy likes you. When it comes to being physical, let him lead and YOU FOLLOW. Don't chicken out.

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  • You are 32 now. The days when all you needed was the looks are long gone. Guys your age should be more mature and not really care about the fact you've never had a boyfriend. Stop waiting for guys to do everything for you. Try to talk to guys more. You don't need to sleep with the first guy you meet. Just learn about guys. Try bonding. You'll find someone.

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    • Yes I'm getting older now, but I'm not sure about starting with a guy my age. I'm thinking about starting with a younger man, preferably like 25-26? Or is it weird that the girl would be older than the guy?

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    • Yes maybe a man in his 40s would be more beneficial than a 25 year old guy. I don't really want to be used for sex so no games, lol. My terrible social skills will probably turn off the older guys, which is what I'm afraid of

    • Just be honest about what you want. As long as you can communicate, there shouldn't be a problem.

  • if you ask someone from the west. They would probably think you are strange. In other eastern countries. you are just a plain normal girl.

    The only thing i find strange is why ''you'' didn't want to have a boyfriend that bad? But if i met a girl who never had a boyfriend before who is in her 30s.. i would just be normal i guess. I would talk to her and find out more about her. Many people are shy and some don't prioritise sex or dating. That doesn't make them faulty. Honestly just don't worry about it at all. ( and i mean at all ) just start dating and thats it. do you need to know how to attract a guys attention?

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  • Well maybe its time to just put yourself out there and focus on your social area of your life now. Im sure if you look more approachable and flirt with guys that they will be happy to talk and get to know you.

    Sometimes guys will feel intimidated by your beauty or you may look closed off and will not approach. They are afraid of being rejected. If you have more open body language and are smiling and give signs to him that you may be interested to talk to him. Then it will be easier on him to approach you.

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  • I'm in my mid 30s and never dated or ever had a girlfriend, but I don't really care anymore and don't really worry about it nearly as much as something else.

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    • It says your 18

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    • Wow really? 2 women in their early 30's who have never had a boyfriend before?

    • I take that as a yes

  • For some reason, that seems to be more and more common nowadays, people not having relationships until later on.

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  • To me that is maybe a bit odd.. but for sure.. far from off the radar.. it just may be that you do not have the time for all of it.. as you wish to maybe get your career in order.. or for a number of different reasons.. all of witch should be respected by any guy.. you have the final vote on anything to do with your life.. do not let no one tell you different or lead you down a path you do not want to get side tracked too.. have a great day

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  • iam not sure what to tell you yes it is kinda weird to have never dated at 32 , I don't know how you look maybe you unattractive? maybe you dont take care of yourself or dont have a good style, maybe you dont look approachable so many things come into play, and one more things guys are not intimidated by nerdy girls they just plain avoid them...

    Unless you post a picture i dont know how answer your question, iam pretty sure its one of two things :

    1- you're so unattractive guys dont have an interested in (Which is ighly unlikely since i have seen not so pretty girls get guys ) haven't anyone ever tried talking to you?

    2- you give this vibe of not wanting to talk to anyone or be part of anyones life you just want to be alone, when a guy senses that he's not gonna act no matter how hot you are.

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  • I personally think you sound amazing and so beautiful. I would love to met someone like you xxx

    I suspect it's actually because you've been so preoccupied you haven't met anyone. It certainly isn't you or anything wrong with you.

    Your hot!! And Amazing xxx

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  • People probably have no idea if you're interested in them or not and if they should be interested in you or not. They might assume you just either keep to yourself, or that you're already taken, or possibly both.

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  • Yeah, it's pretty weird especially if you're a hot blonde bombshell. You must just not be going out to clubs and stuff. Those are the places you will get approached.

    Get some friends together and go out.

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  • Of course that's strange

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  • you're the quiet type. Its not weird at all. Being a bit more open to people... without changing who you are should show guys that you are approachable and give a hint on what you like and dislike as most are intimidated by the fact that their vybe should impress and interest you.

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  • I knew a girl who who 29 and had never had a boyfriend. It turned out she was Catholic. Our mutual friend told me that she had never had a boyfriend and I took it as a hint. It was actually fun breaking down her virginal walls.

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  • This means now you need to socialize, you start the conversation. Go swing dancing, become more active, and yes it is the guys responsible to initiate the conversation and approach you. But we can be intimidated to approach you.

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    • I've tried being social and hip before in at one party (the only party I ever attended) and I failed miserably. I stutter sometime when I talk and I just can't talk like a normal person. I don't think any guy would approach me because of this and it's clear that this is true considering my situation now 😕

    • You know the old saying the more practice you get the better you get. How about your girl friends do you spend time with them at social events? Good friend can help motivate you in a positive direction.

  • I know you asked this question before and if you're still not approached y men it might be due to your appearance and personality. I think you are extremely introverted or you might have a social phobia.

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    • I am very introverted, and cannot hold a conversation. This might turn guys off...

  • I think it's about time to approach someone yourself, really. unless u love cats then u good to go like this.

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  • If you're just not interested in guys they could be picking up that vibe so they don't approach you. Even now I'm not sure if you actually want a boyfriend or just think you need to have one to fit in.

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  • Maybe a little, but not too much.

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  • I'm 24 and never had a girlfriend.

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    • You're still young, give it time. When you're over 30 then you might want to worry more

  • do you want to change that :P

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  • no thats cool. your life your choices. noones business.

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  • More common than we like to admit. It is however very evident that if you want your social life to include a partner you might have to take the wheels and the initiative yourself. However scary that might seem to you.

    I am not at all sure what you're looking for but honestly, finding someone is not very difficult. Finding someone special, considerably more challenging. Although most people can seem pretty special once you get to know them.
    Time to use that accomplished woman you've become to actually compel yourself to be social.

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  • i find it more shocking to hear of a woman being single this long because of how reality works:https://www. youtube. com/watch? v=91SlnIVDFso

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  • Depends on where you live.

    Some countries it seems like in their culture that guys approach women, sometimes rudely, and in some the men just don't approach women.

    I know I've never seen a guy approach a woman where I live, and the few friends that I have have never in their life approached a girl - they both are now in a relationship; where the girl approached them and did everything she could to start a relationship with them.

    So I feel left out. But then again I think I have social anxiety or something else; perhaps mild autism or something which I don't want

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  • So strange. Maybe you are too ugly or nasty.

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  • I find it more shocking to hear of a girl being single this long compared to a guy, because if a guy has been single this long, good chances he has some shyness and social anxiety, social awkwardness, and obviously that's gonna hurt guys way more than girls because guys are still expected to approach and be the initiators

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  • I have similar problem, I'm 36 and never had a girlfriend :(

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  • I am almost 39 and am the same.

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  • Are you sure that there were never a guy who was interested. Maybe you didn't want to realise it because you were not interested in a relationship. Try to speak whith guys. No single man will refuse talking to you if you speak to him ;-)

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    • No, I was always interested in a relationship. But as a girl, I should let the guy come to me first. I just want to know why guys don't approach me... not even one...

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What Girls Said 8

  • Nope! It just means you need to delvelop more as a person. Grow inside not outside. (:

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    • Thanks, Im so far into life, but it's not too late I hope

  • it's note weird because you've basically described what my future will be. It's disappointing but not the end of the world. Just keep trying to meet new people:)

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  • Just get a dating coach to help you do better socially

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  • That's fine but it just seems like you didn't "enjoy while you could" and it's pretty sad. Hopefully you're okay with it and well, it's your life after all

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    • I guess... I've never even had sex either which makes things worse. I don't know why I care so much now

    • Maybe you're just realizing how much you missed. My advice would be to get out of your comfort zone and start doing things you want to do. Life is too short to have regrets, and honestly you're pretty and still relatively young and you SHOULD do things you want with people you want. I wish you the best

    • she hasn't missed anything. is it better when women are used? when they prematurely mature? when unwanted pregnancies inyerrupt their studies? when they get heartbroken? a person shouldn't regret his choices. she "missed" some things but might have gained something we didn't.

  • That's not very common, but it's okay. You can have a boyfriend if you want one.

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  • It's fine that you haven't had "a boyfriend" -- there are a variety of reasons for delaying that -- but never having been on a date is a little odd unless it's part of your religious beliefs.

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    • No I'm not religious, it's because I've never been asked out on a date before.

    • You have to go out, attend events, dress up, and get people to notice you.

    • Ok yeah I don't go out much and I don't have any friends sadly, but I have been at a party once and of course guys never payed attention to me. I can try again but I'll need friends and social skills

  • The idea that girls only need the barest of good looks to get dates is so overstated - especially on forums like this one.

    Most guys need some encouraging body language at the least to let them know to approach and continued validation to keep flirting. Only the biggest dillweeds press on when they don't sense they're wanted - and even some of these won't mess with girls and women who seem too "good" for them to mash on. As we get older, if say people's default assumption is that other people are taken if they don't give signals otherwise.

    Work on overcoming your social anxiety/awkwardness by first making open body language and small talk with random women, like waitresses and cashiers. Then talk to random guys in such positions. Then talk to guys you find attractive.

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    • Great advice, but I just never attempted to make a change or to fix my awkwardness in social settings. I feel like it's too late to start that as I'm kinda old and behind so many people my age. If I dress more revealing, that should bring guys to me right? Just a thought though. But yeah, I don't have any friends at all so I better start with other girls as my friend, if I can even do that

    • It's never too late. My uncle recently met a woman he adores and they're both in their 60s and were single for many years. I don't think revealing clothes will make as much of an impact as putting yourself out there more. Like I said, at our age, most people assume everyone else is married or something. You could also try online dating, where at least the awkwardness of trying to figure out of people are looking for someone is removed.

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