Dating someone with a learning ability and adhd?

I have been dating a guy for a couple months who has a learning disability and ADHD. He is so sweet and the way he treats me is amazing. He can be so much fun and playful but sometimes he doesn't know when to stop playing around. He sometimes doesn't filter what he says which can be embarrasing and has a hard time reading and understanding information while reading. I have done research and all the things he does are results from his mental disorders. He has a hard time thinking long term and having adult conversation. The more time we are together the less we have in common due to the fact that I want to do things like theaters, museums and he wants to go to the movie, bars and video games. I have no problem with a nerdy guy who loves video games if he treats me good and looks as amazing as my boyfriend. The problem is I come from a very intellectual family and I feel like he can't keep up and it tends to leak into our relationship when I sometimes feel like the adult while he acts like a teen all the time. I don't want to give up on him because he is a great man I just don't want to put the time in some thing that will not last because we are too different. Should I put more research into the disorders and and give it time. I feel like I'm being really picky but I also don't want to settle for something that is not right for either one of us. Any suggestions on how to talk to him about this would be helpful too. He has had many people in his life treat him like he is stupid even though he is not he just doesn't learn the same and I don't want to be another person to do that to him I do love him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • That is a very tough question to give an opinion on.. I really tho love the wording of the information you provided and that you do not in my view just the book by its cover sort of speak.. I too am a bit different in a way just by the clothing that I wear and I am pretty sure you know what kind of clothing I am referring too.

    You should hang in there a bit longer.. and as long as the spark is there even if it is a flickering one.. love or a great friendship always finds a way to make things right.. and you will make the right choice for you.. you sound to me like you have things together and I respect you for that very much.. I hope it all works out for the both of you's... take care now

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  • From what you've described you have lust and not love for him. During the honeymoon phase of a relationship, good looks and fun are all that seem to matter. Now that is over it seems to me that deep down you want a partner and an equal, something he will never be (through no fault of his own). Love is unconditional and his percieved 'negatives' would be an attractive quirk, rather than something you're trying to tolerate. You're not being being picky or evil, it's perfectly natural to find out you're incompatible with someone after dating them.

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