How to create/carry on small talk?

I have a hard time connecting with people on a superficial level. I'm a very private persons, although I am deceptively extroverted and can carry conversations. However, I can only seem to carry very in depth conversations about science, politics, religion, etc. It's not something someone wants to talk about all the time. I don't get very personal or emotional in my conversations.

Anyways, I find that I seem to have a hard time connecting intimately with the opposite sex. They either don't carry on interesting convo or we just have dead boring conversation. Its extremely awkward in person as well. I have had moments where guys have said they werent interested in the topic of discussion so then I had nothing to say. Any advice on how people build connections?

Updates:
Oh also, I suck at flirting once I start talking to a person... how does one flirt? I'm not easy to flirt with I suppose as I have a sort of closed off exterior.

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What Guys Said 2

  • That's the million dollar question I've been asking myself because I'm not good at carrying on small talk either.

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  • I would suggest you look for the intrinsic value of other people, you have to transcend what may be on the surface to really feel others and don't have expectations you be you and that will attract the right people...

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What Girls Said 2

  • I am kind of the same way. I usually have the most luck when I'm in a really good mood because I'm more confident and/or start to make jokes. Men like girls who are confident and have a good sense of humor.

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  • Food
    Everyone loves to talk about or argue about food
    Food is life basically

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