Would you rather have a stay at home spouse or a working one?

If you were married and had kids would you rather have a stay at home mom/dad or a working one? And why?

  • Stay at home
    20% (18)33% (20)25% (38)Vote
  • Work
    80% (73)67% (40)75% (113)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I want her to work because any woman I'd marry would require the intellectual and social stimulation of the workplace. While I'm sure that there are exceptions, I have found that stay at home moms, mine included, tend to have an increasingly narrow focus and that therefore, it is my theory, the trivial takes on a disproportionate significance. It also keeps us in sync on the stresses and joys of work.

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What Guys Said 19

  • If I made enough that I could afford for her to be one, I'd say stay at home.
    It is better for the children, if we have any.
    I also do not see how encouraging a woman to spend 40 hours a week outside the home, doing work she hates, is somehow freeing or empowering towards her.
    I do NOT think "women do not belong in the work place."
    I simply think that if you can provide a woman a life where she did not have to work for our ends to be met, that that should be an attractive offer to her, and she should not feel she HAS to work, just to prove she can.
    If I had a wife who worked, I would rather it be because she wanted a productive way to spend her time, than because she felt that by not working she was somehow betraying women past who fought for her right to get a job.

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    • What if she has a job that she loves?

    • @musicbrain5 Then she's free to do it.
      the point is not that I don't want her to work, the point is that i don't want her to be required to work, or to feel that we wouldn't get by if she didn't work.
      Still, I find the concept of a job you love to be hard to believe. No matter how much you love doing something, once it becomes a responsibility that you must do daily, the fun leaves, and it becomes a chore. you might never grow to hate it, but it just isn't fun anymore.

    • Got it. 😊

  • If I had kids, then I'd probably prefer her to be a stay-at-home, but since I don't, I'd prefer her to work, though I don't care what she does as long as she's earning and contributing in a significant way (it won't have to be exactly 50/50, but I wouldn't want it to be 10/90 either).

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  • If I can support the family then there is no need for her to work. It also better for the kids being able to see their mom too. But I wouldn't want her to stay home all the time either, I would try to have her volunteer for doing some good stuff that not about money. She has to be an active person sitting home all the time isn't good either.

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  • Love doesn't pay the bills. We both need to work.

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  • I'd prefer a stay at home one but if she wants to work I have no problem with that either as long as she doesn't let her job get in the way of family. As I've seen far to many women try to have it all and end up neglecting their children and family.

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  • If I could provide I would prefer her to only work part-time but focus mainly on the kids. Unfortunately today its not as easy anymore to have a sole provider so it is kinda unlikely.

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  • It depends on the situation. I would let the spouse stay home if
    1. She was a mother
    2. She likes being a housewife for traditionalist reasons
    Outside of that she would need to be working. If she wants to be a working mother fine, I will have to find a baby sitter I trust. My trust issues make me worry that my child my be molested or neglected if not in the care of the mother. I prefer option 1.

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  • Well I gave up on love so I say she better have a job

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  • She's not about to stay home because she wants to. I can't deal with laziness

    If she stays home, we better have kids

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  • That's a trick one. If it was American pre 60's I would say stay at home. But now literally economically and culturally how the United States is I would say work.

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  • Work. She better get off her ass and do something.

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  • Stay at home. Someone needs to raise the kids, and it isn't going to be me.

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    • why have kids then?

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    • But you did say you won't raise them, at least that's how I interpret your answer.

    • @musicbrain5 your interpretation is wrong.

  • If i was married and had kids i think id have bigger issues then who out of my parents works and who is a stay at home parent for a dude who is married and has kids

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  • I don't mind really. If she wants to work she can, if not, she doesn't have to.

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  • id rather have her to stay at home and take care of the kids but if she wants to work that would also be fine

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  • the same ! .. she will cheat anyway ! nothing is enough for women!

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  • Id rather have one that works, less alimony for me if things dont work out.

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  • B I'd say work, don't want her cleaning and find my black book

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What Girls Said 16

  • In my current relationship, if we ever get married and have kids, I'd actually like him to be a stay at home dad. We've discussed it before and he'd actually love the opportunity to do it. He's better at cleaning, cooking, basically just better at maintaining the home than I would be. He's also probably going to be better with children than me. So we already talked about how he'd genuinely prefer to stay at home and do that stuff whereas I know that being confined to the home for my work would probably drive me insane and yeah, if I ever was able to support our family on my own income, then I'd have no problem with doing that.

    Generally, I suppose a working partner would be better because I doubt I'll ever be able to sustain us on my income when I do get a job, but it wouldn't bother me either way.

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  • I have no family commitments right now so i am in fill-time work. I'm single and have no children, but when i do get married i would love to be a stay at home mum. I am very family orientated so i would get great satisfaction from taking care of my family and our home. Believe it or not... i enjoy housework!! lol

    If our circumstances permitted i would rather raise my children , than have childminders caring for them while i was at work. I love children and look forward to having my own one day. I will enjoy every second of caring for them. My life would totally revolve around my family

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  • Both of us should be working. Where I live, it's pretty hard to live on one income for an average family. Plus I'd go crazy if I stayed home all day and whatnot. It would also be a total waste of all the time and money I spent on my education.

    Also what's the point of staying home when the kids are in school for 7-8 hours a day unless you plan on homeschooling? I understand the reason when they're babies and toddlers, but when they're at school all day they're not being nurtured by you. Your're not going to be with them anyways, so why not go to work? These parents have a problem sending their kids to daycare or preschool out of fear of "being raised by someone else", yet that miraculously goes out the window when it's time for all day school.

    Luckily my husband and I are both teachers and will have very similar schedules as our future kids will when they're in school

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    • I was blocked by @Dred1614 because I said I misunderstood his answer, and obviously he didn't like that. I want to understand, so here's my answer to his comment on his answet in case he's interested in reading it:

      Your wife/girlfriend will stay home with the kids and raise them (at least until they're in school all day). I understand that much. You'll have a regular outside job. But you're still raising your child by providing for him/her and being part of their life when you're at home, so what does the last part mean?

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    • @redeyemindtricks: It's not even like I said anything remotely bad about his answer or insulted him. I just made an observation about what he said and wanted to know more. His jimmies got all ruffled over it, and blocked me just so he could have the last word.

    • Yeah, he blocked me on this thread www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1919688-i-would-date-different-races-but-would-never-marry-or-have-kids-with

      Same deal, I was just bringing up some points. I have a feeling he doesn't like "uppity" women, LOL.
      (On that thread, I didn't even get to the GOOD questions, which would have to do with why his parents would care about whether he married a "white" girl considering that American "white" people are already a mix of 6 or 7 different ethnicities in the first place.)

      I wonder if he handles challenging conversations in real life the same way, by just huffing, turning slightly red, and storming off. lmao.

  • well i dont want a house or kids or cooked meals waiting for me.., so I'm not sure what he'd be staying home for.

    if i was having kids and i earned enough id rather him cause them than a nanny. but without kids why would anyone stay home. to clean? you could pay for that with the extra income. its pointless to be a stay at home anything for no reason.

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  • I would like him to work and I will also work. Some women want to be stay at home moms or domestic engineers, but I know that I need to have a career. I think it would be nice to be able to stay at home with my kids when they are little, but financial reasons may not allow that.

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  • working. ill also b working.

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  • I voted b mainly because my husband and I both agree that it would be best if I stay home. Even with the degree I'm getting , I could never make as much as he is and he makes plenty to support a family. The only reason I'm getting a degree is in case I don't enjoy being a stay at home mom I'll have something to fall back on. Plus He Isn't As Good WITH The Home Maker Type stuff. We'd be eating frozen pizzas and hot pockets off paper plates for the rest of our lives if he stayed at home. Lol

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  • There is so much to do cleaning wise in my apartment and I would rather have it done during the week days than on a weekend.

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  • I would prefer to stay at home because like I have no degree I will never make a lot of money, I don't like to work and going out of my house. I would prefer to take care of my husband and my children than work all the week in a job I hate

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  • Werk werk werk.

    I'd go mental if I stayed home. I got mental just being home more than 2 days.

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  • I can't have kids so he best have a job.

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  • Working spouse

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  • Working one, duuh

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  • Working one

    I really like that role.

    Though, I feel that I want to work too.

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  • Working. I work as well.

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  • Working spouse only because currently due to medicial reasons I can't work. [i have vision issues atm so I cannot drive therefore working is impossible because you need transport to work]
    So i would NEED to be a stay at home spouse unless we worked something out. [rides/moved somewhere with public transit]
    So my hubby would need to work otherwise wed be poor and homeless.

    If/when I get my eye fixed then I could care less. If he wants to stay at home. Cool. As long as I make enough for the both of us

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