Does being a single mum put men off?

I've been online dating for a year and met several men, maybe half my dates have wanted to see me again. However not in a serious sense. The one guy I did date more than a handful of times was 52 and he disappeared on me after a NYE date. He claimed to be single and had a grown up. son.
is it possible that me having 2 younger kids 11&8 put him off but he didn't want to admit it or that he was hoping I'd be desperate to seduce him as I've been single for 3 yrs?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • When I met the woman who became my wife, I was a newly divorced man with custody of a 4 year old son. We met on eHarmony after I had been a member there for 7 months. She had two daughters of her own (10 & 15 years old) from a previous marriage.

    That was more than 11 years ago. In June we will have been happily married for 10 years.

    There is success to be had in online dating even as a single parent. With my experience, I can speak to both sides of the issue. I've dated as a single parent and I've dated (and married) a single parent too.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Being a single mum is far more attractive than being in a relationship or married lol.
    Yes it's true some men will be put of by you having children off course.
    However this should be seen as a good vetting system your children are part of you so if a guy wants you but not them then no thank you were the complete package.
    Better to find out now than before feelings develop.

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    • YOU HAVE NO FUCKING STANDARDS!!!

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    • i agree, you've got no standards. me personally kids in the garbage can, chick in the garbage can too. he probably doesn't want to parent more little kids, and knows they're about to be impossible bratty and loaded with chaos.

    • @666threesixes666 what iam trying to say is its much better that she's a single mum with kids than a married mum or has a partner. Read her question again. The header reads
      Does being a single mum put men off?
      That's what my answer is too. I don't want to break up a family.

  • I admit, its hard seeing myself put into a situation where I am an instant dad, especially if we hit if off, Im sorry, it is harder for single mothers, a guy does want the responsibility of another mans child, but with that being said, there is someone for everyone and you just need to find the right guy. But the guy MUST love both you and your child, he can't love one more than the other, you are a package deal and there is no negotiations, either he accepts and commits to you and your children or he gets the hell out. Don't settle for anything else... good luck!

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  • It might be a deal breaker for some but not all

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  • No guy wants to take care of someone else's kids, or have another guy around, or have time spread out or feel scheduled into her life.

    But there are always guys who would be okay with it.

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  • It does not put me off at all.. but at the same time he would have to be long gone from the picture for me even to consider a relationship with her

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  • Being a single mom alone doesn't put men off. Go watch the movie About a Boy. The kind of single mom that Rachel Weisz plays... awesome.

    However, there are single moms who end up being single moms because they're just horrible people. Those women put men off.

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    • Being a single mom doesn't put men off, but sometimes, the thing that made these moms single is the thing that puts men off.

  • Yeah I won't date a woman with children. I have in the past and it always was an issue for me. If I had kids it would be a different story though.

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  • For younger guys it is more likely to be a deal breaker, but not for all

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  • I don't want to deal with bitter-ass kids

    Unless the child is newborn to about 5, or fully grown, It's a huge no-no

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  • It does put a majority of men off yes. Most guys don't want to run into taking that kind of responsibility.

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  • I think most people in the long run and in general don't really desire to raise a child that's not theirs

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  • Of course it does.

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  • No its not an off... rather its more respectful... try being young again

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  • Not really. Some mens like womens who are around 40 with childrens.

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  • Not really. I've dated single moms.

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  • I don't care.

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  • Yeah

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