I don't know if this is some kind of devaluation of the male ego or what, but some men seem to really hate the idea that a girl wouldn't immediately have sex with him, but let other guys do that previously. Why is this? If anything, it should be a compliment.
It is partly an ego thing but also it leads us to believe that your level of sexual desire was greater for the guys you slept with right away. I do think its common for girls to be pickier and have higher standards for casual sex but then lower their standards for relationships. So its like "youre not as hot or exciting as the guys I would have sex with right away but if you romance me for a while I'll give you a shot".
I dont like the idea of a girl who is hard to get because I enjoy waiting for sex. The appeal is that if I wait for sex and finally get to sleep with her Ill feel special that Im one of a small number of people. However if I wait for sex for a girl who has slept around and had sex right away with other guys there's not much appeal to that situation.
Rather than the "good girl who is bad just for you" its the opposite "the bad girl who turns good just for you". She was slutty and sexually foward with all those other guys and then suddenly becomes the "I like to take things slow" girl only when she meets you.
You know, I asked a similar question about "born again virgins." Or basically, women who had sex, but now want to wait. Out of the twenty-odd men who responded, only three said that they'd be okay or somewhat okay.
But the others gave me in-depth explanations on why not the newly turned celibate girl.
Their reasons were: 1. Her decision makes them question if they're good enough for her 2. Puts her "pussy on a pedestal" and it isn't fair 3. Shows that she's either insecure and\or indecisive, therefore not good girlfriend material 4. She sounds irrational
Do I agree with their logic? Not entirely, though I understand where they're coming from.
You should be perfectly happy to buy a new car with the basic package for $31,500.00 knowing full well that the last customer bought the same car with the leather interior, the upgraded stereo and the performance drive train for $23,900.00
After all you WERE treated "differently" and "differently" is ALWAYS special.
Economists call this phenomena "price discrimination". People can accept that no two tickets on an airplane to a given destination were sold at the same price. People are not so accomodating in interpersonal relationships.
The question the guy asks of himself is "What is WRONG with me that I am treated this way?"
because its just bullshit. its like getting ripped off. you pay more and get less its just not worth it from an economic stand point. like why would it be a compliment? other men are good enough to have sex with and he he is not. its just complete nonsense.
It's like a serial killer murdering 25 people, then when he is in prison he reforms and finds Jesus. Scouts honor, he will never kill again. Could he be legit? Yes. Could there be an angle? Absolutely. He could just be putting on an act for self-preservation. So when a man sees a woman who has slept with 20 guys at the drop of the hat, but all of sudden she wants to put on this, I'm a good girl act, I don't want to sleep with you just date, you naturally think she is just using you for other reasons. Maybe she wants a kid sitter, or to manipulate you for financial gain / convenience. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with you, you are generally just getting used and played. Especially if she used to fuck all these other dudes within 3 days of knowing them. I don't expect a woman to immediately have sex with me, but I'm not going to fall for some bullshit by a woman who never used to wait before, and now is trying to "date" me for one year or whatever before she wants to have sex.
there is sever reasons for this. the biggest reason i see is the guy assumed you were going to be an easy lay and when it didn't happen he was disappointed. some of the other reasons could be he wonders what other guys have that he doesn't that you make him wait to sleep with him. another thing he might be thinking is you dont trust him and in turn hurts him because he doesn't know what he did.
It's not a compliment. I see no logic where that's a compliment. All it is is denying him something he wants. You are either purposefully denying him sex or you're not as attracted to him. Neither is a compliment and both are pretty insulting. Plus, being considered desirable by women makes you feel manly. Being the guy who waits makes a guy feel decidedly unmanly.
It's not a compliment. It shows me that she clearly doesn't view sex as anything special since she slept with other guys so soon. Making me wait at that point just sounds hypocritical like she's only doing it to prove a point to herself.
It's a compliment if she's said no to every other guy but she thinks I'm the one who she can see herself doing it with.
Would you actually be happy if I had sex with all my other partners then told you yeah it's not happening?
cuz there's a disconnect. no one wants to feel like they r being treated differently in a negative sense esp nice guys who learn the previous partner was a bad boy. in reality, it could just be a genuine shift in values or a hesitance/trust issue cuz sex and bad experiences do emotionally change a lotta women so i guess she could make it clear in her actions and words that the change is genuine and unrelated to him as a person.