What is considered being "shallow"?

When it comes to looking for guys, I can't help but notice their appearance first. So I feel like that makes me shallow, but I don't go for conventional "hot" appearances. I honestly don't care if you have a six pack abs or not. But I do care about the way you present yourself with clothes, hygiene, and I have a weird thing that a guy has to have nice teeth since I used to work in the dental field and that stuff is important to me. A guy could have the best personality but if I don't find him attractive initially most of the time nothing is going to change my feelings about him. I dont know if that makes me too picky or if thats kind of normal; my mom thinks I'm too picky and shallow haha.

What do you consider "shallow" to be?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is a very fine line between 'having standards' and 'being shallow', when it comes to appearance. As long as you aren't depending on the guy's natural looks (which he can't change), you aren't being shallow. Actually, you are only having realistic standards here. Don't worry! :)

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    • Okay cool thank you :)

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    • I guess it could happen but I've never really had that happen. It takes a lot to catch my interest I guess

    • Hmmm... still, I do not believe you are being 'shallow' here. Don't lower your standards, ok? :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think that's shallow at all. People are designed to be attracted to people that they have a good chance of making viable young with, and that attraction is chemical. If it isn't there it's not there. Shallow in this department is when you are willing to deny or claim having an attraction based on how you think your association with that person will make you look to other people. And presentation can be a little shallow if you mean he has to wear an expensive style for you to like him, etc... But mostly it's just about respect. Anyone (mostly) can wash themselves and their clothes and brush their teeth. Someone who doesn't have general self care down is probably not in a place where they can open themselves up to another person.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Shallow would be having an 8 inch minimum cock length requirement

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  • I consider it fine for a man or woman to have an idea of what they like their partner to look like and have standards. However, if they don't meet up to that themselves then I find them shallow. Also if their standards are so high that no man or women could even possibly meet them then I find is shallow as well. I also find people only dating someone over materialistic things shallow as well.

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  • there usually has to be at least a little physical atraction to start the interst in someone. as for a good personality thats what it take for a long lasting relationship. to me shallow is when you are unwilling to lover look small flaws in someone and reject them because of it.

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  • That's not shallow, there is no point in dating someone whom you don't find physically attractive. In fact, that's called "leading them on".

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  • You're a shallow ass bitch. Just kidding, I totally see what you mean. It absolutely does not make you anywhere near shallow, or a bitch. When you hear "I love her for her personality." Its total bull, 10% of the relationship is based on actual appearance, and that's how you see someonw, am I a wrong? He caught your eye, I mean, you can't catch someone's personality. "Damn, look at that guys personality, looks hot." It doesn't work that way. You're fine.

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  • I think it's fine for people to have 'standards' or be picky. Shallow for me is when the person requesting those standards can't even come close themselves.

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  • Thats not shallow at all...

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  • To me being shallow is finding one flaw in most people and writing them off right away because of it. You have some standards when it comes to appearance, but if you aren't judging every guy over something small and different each time, i don't think you're shallow.

    You like a nice smile and want the guy to show he cares about himself. Nothing shallow there in my opinion

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  • None of those things you have said.. leads me to believe you are shallow what so ever.. what would make someone to me very shallow is to not give a care in the world.. or to respect the other person

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  • If you absolutely won't date someone who doesn't have a physical trait like tall height, ripped, or with a huge bulge, that's shallow

    The hygiene and stuff is basic and universal

    For teeth, it depends. If you require a dentist level of insane white teeth that you only see on TV, then that's shallow

    You don't seem shallow to me

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  • Physical attraction is legitimate. Restricting your choices to where you're physically attracted is not shallowness, though it can limit your choices (but the thing is, limiting your choices is the POINT).

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  • I'm sorry but this

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  • No you're naturally drawn to people you're attracted to doesn't make you shallow at all.

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  • I wouldn't say thats shallow at all, you wanna go for someone you find attractive.

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What Girls Said 4

  • There's nothing wrong with having basic standards. When chosing who we date the initial attraction is always physical. As we get to know them, then its more of an emotional attraction.

    When you date a person for a long time an get past that need for a perfect image, even their quirks and features begin to be the part you love most about them.

    Love is unpredictable and chances are we marry the least expected people because they make us happy.

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  • Everyone notice appearance first, what else? If there is a cake in front of you you don't notice the taste first either.

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  • being shallow to me is basically materialistic and having extremely high standards. you don't seem shallow

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  • Totally normal.

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