Anyone else like me with romantic relationships?

This might sound bad but I'm going to pour out my feelings and see if anyone else feels or felt this way.
I'm not sure why but I always seem to reach this problem when it comes to romantic relathships. To explain this I'll need to provide some information.
Im currently dating this amazing guy and we have almost everything in common. He says he loves me and I am the one for him. I feel the same way I love him and can easily see myself being happy with him for the rest of our live together. The problem is I always reach a point when I get super stressed out in the relationship and think about how easy it was when I was single. I had a lot of free time and knew I couldn't ever get hurt because there is nobody to hurt me. Not that I think my boyfriend would cheat on me or anything but I guess I have this fear he would one day start to have feelings for someone else. Maybe get a simple crush and it progresses. I understand it's a illogical fear but not unrealistic. People do get bored in relationships. The beginning is always the most exciting and new part. I feel like there is something wrong with me and not the people I date. I always get into such serious relationships with the guys I date and feel such guilt when I get feelings like this because the guy doesn't deserve this. Am I just meant to be single for the rest of my life? Anyone felt this way before? Thanks for reading all of this! Any input is appreciated.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah it doesn't mean you will be single for the rest of your life, but I completely understand what you mean because thats also how I feel and thats probably why Im back to being single.
    I feel both being single and attached have its goods and bads. When single like you said '' I had a lot of free time and knew I couldn't ever get hurt because there is nobody to hurt me'' and its true, you run your life however you want and dont have to worry at all about getting hurt. But thats what we give up when we enter a serious relationship, we must sometimes take these chances. I find it a bit hard myself but hopefully I'll get over it. So you're not alone in feeling that way.

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    • The funny thing is that I realize this haha. It's a catch 22. I realize this but I eventually feel this way once the relationship reaches a certain point. It is just selfish of me to want both. The love and companionship. The feeling you get when you hold hands with someone you love but also want the free time to do whatever I want and the 100% reassurance knowing that I can't ever be hurt. It's not possible to have all because to be in a serious relationship you have to work at it and put in effort. Thanks for telling me I'm not the only one feeling this way. I hope we both get over it. It's something we need to fix about ourselves.

    • Hmmm I think you could be free and do whatever you want if you and your significant other reach a level of complete trust. Where you can be without him and not have to worry about what he does.
      Sometimes being apart and knowing that person will be there for you when you get back is the best feeling in the world, because you can enjoy yourself and focus on whatever it is you might be doing with your life.

What Guys Said 4

  • Honestly I have not been in super long term relationships, but I have felt in the past that my partners may start to not feel the same or would find someone better. It's an insecurity that really sucks and I don't know how to get over it except read suit f yourself that your partner would not be with you if they did not want you

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    • *reassure not red suit f 🙊😂

    • You're right, I think it is a insecurity issue. Just strange tho, sometimes I would think I'm pretty great but sometimes I would feel low and wonder why would anyone want to date me. Maybe we all have those moments of insecurity. The part about if they don't want you they won't be with you is true but they could find someone "better" and dump you. I guess that is my fear. If that happens it would hurt quite a bit. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and he had been hinting of popping the question soon. I guess that's another reason why I'm getting stressed out. He souds like he really loves me but I read a old FB post from him to his ex-girlfriend and it sounded like he really loved her too. That's why love confuses me. I guess you can love someone so much yet move on and love another. I asked him about that post and he said he thought he knew what love was until he met me but he really didn't. I know he isn't lying but I'm not 100% if he knows that is true.

    • Yeah it is a strange and unsettling feeling, but congrats on hopefully getting the big question soon!!

  • You have to get over the fear of being cheated on...
    The dinner thing you should do is distract yourself when these thoughts come in your mind...
    Thoughts only come in mind when you have free time

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  • Nope. Never felt this way before.

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  • You will feel uneasy at times, but that's all about trust , if you truly trust your partner none of that should worry you

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