Guys, Does he really have feelings or is it because he's drinking?

I work with a guy who I have been friends with for 15 years. We used to ride to college together and his late wife and my husband thought we were having an affair; we were not. We never really hung out outside of work, but we were close at work. We started texting/talking a lot more a couple of months ago and he told me he has had feelings for me for a long time, loves me, wants to ve with me, etc. I've kind of noticed when he is saying these things to me he is drinking (drinks a lot and hasn't really dealt with wife's death yet). He does text anf talk to me when sober, but the content is often different. He will say he cares about me when sober, but then goes on to say he is damaged and lost the love of his life and will never live again. Are his feelings when he is drinking at all real? He says drinking helps him be himself, as he is shy when sober. I'm trying to figure out my life and trying to decide if I should divorce my husband (not because of this guy), and this is having an impact on my decision-making skills. Any thoughts/input would be appreciated. Thanks!

Updates:
I should also add that he has asked me to come over a handfull of times in the past few weeks, and I did; things have gotten sexual, but he had been drinking every time.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • some guys think differently when there drinking vs when they are not , so its entirely possible he's somewhat different when he is vs when he isn't but I don't really know him to be sure.

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