How do you handle how you and your S. O. pay for things?

It's always awkward for me. .. I don't think it's fair for him to pay for everything but then I'll offer and I almost feel like he doesn't want to let me pay bc he's the guy and "should " pay... but I don't want him to feel resentful or burdened, especially since last night we took my 2 kids to dinner. Not sure what I should do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's very rare a guy feels burdened or resentful at spoiling the woman he loves. If it helps assuage your guilt, let him pay but return something in the form of surprise gifts every now and again - like a new shirt or sporting event tickets etc.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Neither of us really care for the 'the guy should pay' idea so we tend to split things where we just pay for our own thing or pay for half of the total. Sometimes one of us will pay for whatever it is but the other will always then pay next time and balance it out. It works easily like that.

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What Guys Said 4

  • In my day, the man ALWAYS paid for everything. If the woman wanted to do something, she could use her money to by some skimpy underwear or cook for him. (The cooking part works great the other way too).

    Today's young men often believe the cost should be split. Many young women absolutely hate that, so they date me.

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  • I tend to end up paying for things because I insist. I insist because I earn more money so I have more to spare.

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  • If he clearly has the means to pay and wants to then don't make an issue of it. Just let him pay. But if he's often short of money for things then just say "it's my turn this time."

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    • Sometime he uses a card, so I have no idea how he is money wise.

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    • I'm not very bright because I'm a single mom? What does that have to do with anything? ?

    • Because either (A) you were too dumb to know how babies are made. Or (B) you were too dumb to pick a good guy to get married to before you made a baby.

  • If you feel he's paid for too much, offer to pay.

    I paid for the movie, she paid for food, I paid for drinks. It worked out about even.

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    • I offer, but he tells me no. But I think it would hurt his pride to let me pay.

What Girls Said 5

  • Just pay, don't bother asking him. even better do the sneaky and pretend you're going to go to the bathroom and instead go pay. I always do it with family. They always know I will when i say the word Bathroom, so i change it up a bit.. going to go get drinks, going to go outside for fresh air.. blah blah blah lol
    If he keeps insisting to pay (just for anything in general, be firm and say "No, it's ok, i will. It's sweet you want to pay, but let me shout you out today"

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  • I would tell him to stop begin stupid! lol

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  • Personally i've never let a guy pay for me, for anything, outside of gifts that we both give each other. I've had guys insist they pay but that doesn't work with me. I don't like taking someone else's money, I think it makes everything awkward.

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  • 1/2 and half. Sometimes I pay, sometimes he pays sometimes we split. Whoever a idea it is to go out usually buys

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  • You hold onto his arm when he's about to pay and threaten to break it if he doesn't let you pay.

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    • Honestly, I'm a single mom who's barely making it as it is, so I don't have the money to pay. But I've never told him that. But I just feel so guilty if he pays for everything.

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