Why do guys do it?

Been on a date twice with this guy, we both had a really good time etc been talking on phone and messaging through day and night and know he has just told me that he's been talking to his ex and gonna give it another try with here!
Many advice will be grate...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd not go on a 3rd date... if he's talking to hie ex, then you obviously aren't a priority... He's got too much going on to bother with.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, as you've stated, he wants to give it another go with his ex. Keep in mind it's not you. You didn't do anything wrong. Something in his last relationship was not finalized. That is clearly between him and her. She could've done something stupid and begged for him to come back, sometimes you miss people when you aren't around them, or something else. At least he told you, right? He isn't leading you on, so that's a bonus. My only concern is if he and her breakup again and he wants to talk to you again. Just be careful. You're not a backup plan. If that situation arises, be upfront and tell him how you feel.

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    • Thank you! I know I have not done anything wrong-he was the one to approach me whiles out. Yes at end of day he was man enough to actually tell me that he'd been talking to his ex etc and like I told him he's got to do what he things is best by his own option. I will deffo be careful and I am totally up front anyways.

What Guys Said 6

  • There could be hundreds of reasons, or it could be he is just lazy, I say this with the expression in mind that "the devil you know is better than the one you don't" and no I'm no saying your a devil, just that he already has a basis for that relationship, and while he may not have gotten everything right, the things he did get right are now known, thus those are things he doesn't have to learn with you, which is where the lazy part for him comes in. Relationships take work for both parties, and it sounds to me like he isn't willing to work on something new and possibly better. You should feel encouraged that you are not going to have to try and live up or perhaps down to what he had become accustomed to with his ex.

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    • You could be right "the devil you know is better than the one you don't" maybe you are right and that's why he has chosen the friend zone! Another thing is he is still messaging me soon as he wakes up like he used to 🤔

    • Well my friend for as much as I would like to tell you that this has some significant meaning, I fear I would be lying were I to say that. My best advice to you is to let this particular fish go, as it would seem to me that he is the sort that wants to have his cake and eat it too. You have far more value as a person, than to be his "backup" plan if everything goes south with his on and off again ex...

    • Thank you for being honest. All down to me if I'd want to put up with it if he's doing it now will he do the same again

  • Maybe the break up was recent. And he had to be talking to you and the ex at the same time. It doesn't make it fair or right. Maybe he thought he was over the ex and the reality is that he wasn't.

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    • Maybe as I didn't ask him how long he had been single! He wants to remain friends but like I said to him I don't think his ex would he happy if she new that we had been on 2dates etc... you think he wants to sat friends so he's got a back up of things go wrong again with his ex?

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    • It does sound like he wants to rush things and I've told him we would have to start all over again as I'm not putting up with what he had already done before as I give him a chance before and normally id walk away, we do get on really well when we are together... he came and seen me yesterday as I told him he's got to show me that he wants to correct things with me (if that makes any sence)

    • Yes that makes sense. True he should show you more and fix things with you. That is good that you seen him. He should feel very lucky that you even talk to him.

  • The devil you know: Maybe he was with her for too long and began to suspect she was crazy, so he went on a date with you and you reminded him that all women are annoying and insane so he decided to go back with numero uno; plus she heard he went on a date and is now pulling out all the stops to get him back because nothing turns a woman on like another woman wanting a man.

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  • break up, he doesn't deserve you.

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  • why do girls stick with guys that give them hard times? why can't you just find another guy completely, i mean come on, your a girl and you can have just about any guy you want, guys are not that difficult to get, were not like girls and impossible.

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    • I do not stick with guys that give me hard times bugger that crap! I have left that guy alone as like I said in another post- I am not getting involved with him and his ex not been stuck in the middle. Haha some guys are impossible lol

  • I guess he wanted to see what he could get and it wasn't what he expected so.

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    • Well he's just Msged and asked how's things and how am I!

What Girls Said 1

  • It's nuce that he is open and honest about his situation.
    Now that you know. You have to decide if you want to take part.
    You should also date/talk to other people till you meet one who you both want to be in a committed relationship.

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    • Many other guys would not of mentioned anything, I have stopped talking to him as I told him I do not want to be in the middle of him and his ex.

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