Do guys really do this/am I doing the right thing?

I have feelings for a guy friend whom I've been hanging out with for the past couple of months, and sometimes I feel like Im a bit clingy. Not that much, but I feel like I'm way too invested in him. We text everyday, see each other almost everyday, he's come over to my place a few times, we go out for dinner and stuff... Lately, I've also started to feel like he may be keeping me around because I'm Japanese and he's interested in Japanese music/culture and wants to live in JP (he's a phd student in music comp) I also tutor him in Japanese because he's taking a class.

My aunt whom I live with is a bit concerned that he may be using me to get married and live in JP. I don't want to believe that, but I can't help but be cautious.

I really felt like we were good friends, but recently one of my guy friends said guys like to keep girls around and not be serious. Do guys really do this?

I was chatting with my bestie since kindergarten the other day, and she agrees I need to explore other options and go out with other guys. today, someone asked me out and I said yes. I don't usually go out with other guys while I have feelings for another, so I feel a bit unsure. I know people do this, but I don't, so... I'm not sure I know what I'm doing.

So... Is it true that some guys, when a girl is always around, assumes she'll always be around and starts loosening up?
Also, am I doing the right thing by going out with other guys, or should I continue to stay focused on the guy I really like?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you aren't dating the PhD dude. If you have feeling for the PhD dude tell him. Don't make him read bullshit hints or whatnot. Just be direct and tell him you have feelings.

    Personally I feel you shouldn't date someone half hearted. You will regret this. Tell PhD dude how you feel first before going on your date.

    • I don't know about telling him how I feel.. I did that twice in the past and just ended up humiliating myself...

    • Well maybe you weren't direct enough. Tell him and if he isn't 100% interested in dating then I'm sorry it won't happen between you two.

      Just don't go out on a date with a guy with feelings towards another guy.

      Don't be scared and tell him as direct as possible. Just be confident and expect for the worst. Don't feel humiliated if it doesn't work out. That's life and you can move on better knowing if he didn't really want you so you can find a better guy

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • If you thinks you're being too clingy then loosen up a little. Let him text you first, and look for you. Don't back off immediately but do loosen up. He might find it strange and if he's interested he'll ask what's wrong and you can tell him how you feel. If he's just there because of your connections he won't feel as alarmed and won't care about your feelings.