Why is being a virgin a bad thing?

Basically I've been speaking to a girl for about a month. We have met once and we had like the best time ever! She is lovely and she really expressed how much she liked me. So I was pumped. She felt really comfortable to talk to me and was really nervous to tell me somethings which she thought was a turn off for me. Once she told I didn't see it as a turn off at all and I liked her even more for telling me. She was really happy that I still liked her and that I still wanted to be with her.

Then I felt I like I had to open up more to her. So I confessed that I hadn't had sex. (Im 21 by the way and the reason for this is because I've always wanted to be in a relationship to have sex and never had wanted a relationship till now) it's not because I'm lame or unattractive. Once I left school I was a mess and wanted to focus on myself and didn't feel like I was ready for one!

But she didn't take the news too well at all! She thought it put pressure on her and thought it would be awkward. She basically doesn't know what to do at all but still wants to talk to me. But her replies aren't what they used to be and she's making it more awkward.

She's agreed to meet up again but she's not as infusiatic as I thought. Im very confused what to do at all! I have said everything I can but I'm not sure she will get over it! I makes it harder as I have developed feelings for her. So don't know what I can do to make her feel less awkward about it all?


What Girls Said 2

  • I would suggest to her you take things one day at a time and at least she knows you will treat her with respect as you are not going to use her for sex.

    See losing your virginity in such circumstances make her feel its a huge commitment and so you may as well have asked her to meet your parents... next time you meet a girl dont let on til after. I am sure it will go well either way!

  • it's NOT. can we all please stfu and get over this? LOL it's actually unbelievable. ain't no way this gonna start contesting with the popularity of penis questions.

    • Thank you for your response but I didn't think it mattered at all! But my response wasn't what I expected! So it shows that it does matters to girls!

    • well for someone women like myself, it's wonderful. to others it doesn't matter, to others it's a turn off. depends on who ur dealing with.

What Guys Said 1

  • Hmmm did you tell her that you are just telling her because you felt comfortable? And not because you wanna put any pressure on her...

    Or maybe she is just a bitch... She thought your were not a virgin and therefore was interested in you only for sex or something...
    If she keeps on treating you like that then you should cut all contacts with her...
    She isn't worth it at all if she if judges you because of you being a virgin...

    Communicate with her and ask her why she is treating you like that... And that you only told her because you wanted to open up more..

    Is she still treats you like that then cut all contacts...
    And one more thing next time tell these things much later if you're relationship like when you are gonna have sex... Not so early..!
    Some Girls have commitment issues... They are pussies... Do take it easy

    • Cheers mate.
      I told her because we were both comfortable with each her and thought it was the right thing to do. She has been hurt a few times due to people using her. I thought I would open up more because I thought it was a way to show I'm not like the other guys that would hurt her.
      But unfortunately she didn't see it that way.

    • If so that's the issue. . I advise you to tell her that you know she had been hurt because prior used her before... But you freshly like her for her... You just wanted to tell her that you are a virgin cause you felt uncomfortable about it and wanted to know if she thinks it's OK...

      And that you are not gonna use her like that...

      Be clear in where you say... Cause Right now she thinks you will use her too... So tell her that if not the case.. And that you genuinely like her...

      Communications is important... So voice your opinion seriously...
      She should get over it... Maybe after that everything will stop bring do weird