What ever happened to women taking care of their men?

Hi All,

I have been reading a lot of the posts and I have also noticed this trend lately that women seem (I choose word *seem* purposely) to have they types of attitudes listed below

1- If you don't do this, I won't do that

2- If you do that, I'll punish you somehow

3- I'm hot so I can do anything I want

4- I'll dump your ass the second I'm not happy anymore

5- If I do that, you BETTER do this for me

I don't know what's going on ! or maybe it's just my perception.

But what ever happened to women who like pleasing their men ? what ever happened to women taking care of their men ?

I feel that women don't realize the fact that if they took initiative to take care of their men, it will only return to them and more (without showing that you expect something in return obviously)

I dunno, but when I find a nice and decent girl, its my pleasure to please her in every reasonable way. WITHOUT expecting things in return

Thoughts / Comments ?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm used to being treated like shit and used and abused and just constantly f***ed over.

    And while I know not ALL men are like that, it's hard not to somewhat, unintentionally, take it out on other guys.

    Personally, I just tend to stick up for myself more now. But then again. I only have f*** buddies :( If it was a real relationship, I would treat my man so damn good as long as he was a good guy ;) lol

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What Girls Said 10

  • I have noticed this trend, and find it sad. I suppose I am old fashioned in some ways, but I truly genuinely enjoy making a guy feel good. Whether it be by showing interest (genuine interest) in what he does, cooking, keeping the house nice, being there to bounce ideas off of, and having brilliant sex.

    However.

    I can understand why women have adopted such attitudes, in the same way I can understand why mens attitudes have changed also. I think women want to know that they are going to be treated well, and the sad truth is they aren't always. Having an attitude like number 3 or 4 is self preservation in some cases. Things hurt less when you can act tough.

    It is my belief that in general, people need to step back and take a look at how they are treating each other. Ask themselves things like; Is what I am saying necessary and productive? Am I making people feel good? Do I feel good? How can I make this person smile today? I put these into practice on a daily basis and my relationships with everybody in my life are so much better for it.

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    • Bravo, 5 Star comment !

      Indeed self analysis is a necessary part of being happy with yourself and with others. Nothing good can come out of selfishness, narcissism , greed, fear, hate....

  • The gut truth is you only hear those things from a person that is frustrated and feels unfairly treated (except for 3, that's possibly for confidence). I wouldn't judge a person and dismiss it entirely as a character fault because there's always a reason behind attitude plus perceptions can always change with new experiences. Ideally we all want to be in a relationship with someone who's in sync with you at all times and that's where we begin to break out pedestals or charades. Through trial and error I've realized its not about finding or forcing perfection in another person but learning how to compromise fairly and together.Balance and happiness will follow.

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    • Its not frustration, its a simple observation.

      I even notice this in other peoples relations... maybe its a regional thing... maybe some women in some areas are more giving and some women in other areas are what I mentioned above.

  • Yeah, sadly that seems to be the trend…Men are lazy and selfish and have stepped down from their role as head of the family, women are demanding, conniving, whining, nagging, and worse.

    I’m an old-fashioned type of girl even though I’m pretty young (17). I just love making the guy in the relationship feel like he’s the man whether it’s by cooking for him, laughing at his jokes, taking his advice, or giving him a little him-time. : )

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  • Relationships are a two way street. Both people involved should be taking care of each other equally. If it's 60/40 or 90/10 then it won't work out. There are some people that come into relationships with really high and unrealistic expectations and when those expectations aren't met, the things on your list tend to surface. If people looked at relationships as fun and meaningful partnerships instead of a game that only they can win, more relationships would work out. People should also learn to do things from the kindness of their hearts instead of expecting things in return. On the same note, if one person is giving their all and getting nothing in return, then they won't be happy, so that's why it should be 50/50. Give what you receive. Also too many people jump to giving ultimatums instead of compromising, which also is never a good thing. So I see what you're saying, but there are guys out there like that as well and there are women out there(I'm one of them) that aren't just out for themselves. There are guys that will take a girl out to dinner or something and expect her to sleep with him because he paid, and there are girls that expect guys to bend over backwards for them because they spent hours looking pretty for him. So it goes both ways.

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  • oh god. unfortunately I've been one who has been walked all over for doing things for my previous significant others. I'd do things without expecting anything in return to the point of being treated like a waste basket.

    if I really care about someone, I usually do it by doing things for him. for instance, with my current guy, I'd come over to his place and I'd cook and bake for him. sometimes he'd come and help me, but lately he'll just sit on the couch and watch tv or fall asleep. I went over a few times to help him and his family with their home renovation on a long weekend too. I actually backed out on plans with my family so that I could go and help him and his family out. when he wants to go out with friends I don't ask him who, where and what questions. I tell him to go out and have a good time and if he's feeling too tired that we can see each other another day. I'd listen to him vent about problems he's been having at work and other things. I called him maybe 3 or 4 times a week to see how he was but he hasn't been doing the same for me. when I see him on chat, he'll talk to me for about 5 mins and then he'll say goodnight without asking me how my day went. I've met everyone in his family and when I asked him if he could meet my sister for the first time, he started to get all worked up.

    what I'm saying is, there's only so much that women should do. why do guys always expect things to just magically work out for their favor by not even lifting a finger. I mean isn't a relationship supposed to be a two way thing where both parties are giving and receiving? I know I'm always the one who ends up being a sucker and keeps giving and giving until I'm sucked dry. it would just be nice to meet someone who doesn't take advantage of me. I'm pretty sure that there are also guys who are in my position too. but either way it doesn't make it right. a little gesture or sign of appreciation goes a long way. it doesn't have to be anything lavish like a gift or flowers. maybe a hug can do more wonders than hearing your man snoring after you've made him a meal from scratch.

    sorry if I sound a bit negative here but it's hard not to expect things in return when you're always being used and taken for granted.

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    • H mm, I couldn't agree with you more. From the looks of it your guys doesn't value what a rare GEM you are by most guys standards !

      If I were him...the things I would do..

  • i wouldn't mind taking care of my man but he has to also devote time to me and show that he cares about me, stuff like that, little thing slike flowers and presents to make me happy and dinner dates ;-) relationships always need work

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    • Obviously they need work, I was simply stating that most guys (including myself) pereceive that the guy has to put more effor in than the girl in recent days. Especially if she is pretty otherwise face the point #3 mentioned aboive.

      3- I'm hot so I can do anything I want

      :)

  • Ok so you do like to ask questions that cause people to respond angrily! lol! Personally I care about my guy and want to take care of him! look at my question if you don't believe me! A lot of women are game players and I suppose I used to be one but men are simple creatures and don't understand let alone play games! so I believe that in a relationship both people should just make each other happy.

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    • Lol, it seems I have a gift to ask questions that stir up the pot. you should see my other questions... I got some serious heat ! check them out !

      I think it all has to do with the guy/girl ratio in that particular region, the more men in a city, the more picky/bitchy women are. the more women in a city the more easygoing they be ! I've been to Latvia recently and its 30/70 ratio in favor of men. let me tell you women over there really know how to treat men.....

    • Well its 50-50 here but I can see it from ur pov. I think more girls just need to think like guys do-as one of my best guy friends said to me the other nite-guys are simple-don't try and analyze anything they do because there is no hidden message!!

  • We have to be careful about doing that because we could possibly end up used and played. What do you mean by taking care of their men, specifically? I have a friend who drives her man places, gives him money for lunch sometimes, and basically caters to him and he cheats on her like women are going out of style.

    If that's what you mean by taking care of a man, then maybe he should be more independent and not expect women to do for them constantly. Usually men are supposed to be the caretakers and protectors, if you want to go back to the "old days" way of thinking.

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  • I don't know. Not having much experience myself (haha) I guess its because many girls take their guys for granted, they don't realize that it takes two to tango, and while teasingly asking for something is okay - blatantly being greedy is not.

    I've seen/heard/read about situations like yours before, so its not only happening to you. I don't know, its also a level of arrogance, and being spoiled perhaps?

    It sounds a little like you're also frustrated with past experiences.

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  • most girls do take care of their guys,. I think that we have realized though that there are jerks out there, and if we're waiting at the snap of a finger, then the girl with end up being bossed around and mistreated. a lot of girls have dated assholes before and I guess we just learn what not to put up with and what's not acceptable. a relationship should work both ways. why would a girl want to be in a relationship where she does all the work and the guy doesn't make much effort? if the guy is just as wiling to take care of the girl then she'll take care of the guy also most likely.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah, I notice that oo.

    Only some though. I usually just stay clear of those types.

    Then again, I'm sure a lot of girls out there see most guys as sex hungry barbarians or something along those lines ^^, a story for each side I guess.

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