Why do so many guys say they like agressive girls when in my experience thats not true at all? Guys on GAG dont representate guys in the real?

I see all the time on GAG that guys like direct girls, girls who flirt, approach the guy first etc.

I dont know if its because its on a app, but I find it hard to belive. The times I have been making an effort, giving detailed answers, ask questions back, when i flirt and suggest us hangig out (f. ex. i'll say "you should show me sometime" ) it never really ends well. When i say well, i mean we actually meet up, or they ask me out,

I dont expect them to ask me out, but when we are at the point where im comfortable enough to do so they show signs of disinterest (in my opinion anyway).

So being direct, or being agressive never really works out. I know on online dating and on dating apps there is a numbers game, but being agressive obviously doesn't get me anywhere.

Do guys just say that they like agressive girls because they are sick of approaching girls and not because they actually like it?

In person and online being the agressive one actually never works in my favor. Is it just the fact that guys on here dont representate guys in the real world?


0|0
1|15

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that there's plenty of guys that would do but they want to be dominant because it is what society expects of them (just like how girls think they are dirty, sluts, etc. for sleeping around, lots of guys think it is unmasculine to not approach and that they are little bitches if they do not have sex).

    more generally - speaking in terms of men AND women - people like being approached because it is less work for them (and they don't have to risk rejection) but they dislike the awkwardness of having to reject somebody and they dislike the fact there is less choice involved (you can choose who you approach, but you don't get to choose who approaches you).

    there are also guys that THINK they want to be approached because they are inexperienced and haven't had the experience or chance to reflect on themselves enough to realise why it is not what they actually want.

    then there are guys like me that want to be dominant naturally but don't like the idea that it is expected of us and don't like the fact that women put in so little effort even after the initial interaction (you get the impression that if she is such a 'cold fish' during the interaction that she is probably going to be a 'cold fish' in bed too).

    0|0
    0|0
    • To sum it up: dont approach guys if you're interested? Lol

    • well actually, no, lol.

      different guys like different things. some guys like to be dominant initiators, some guys like to be passive receptors, some guys don't care, some guys just won't be into you.

      men have had to deal with the same barriers to success approaching women for centuries. there is no reason that women should not take their fair share of the punishment, especially if they are interested in the guy and think he is worth going over to, lol.

    • Thanks for MHO :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • According to things I have observed, it usually works.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So its just me then? Lol the recent guy I was aggressive towards actually just asked me out.. so maybe it was just the other guys

What Guys Said 14

  • Well i dont like aggressive girl i want a smart, sweet and good natured girls aggressives is a huge turn off for me and i dont approach such girls even though i've had more than an opportunity to approach such girls whom i know like me.

    As for guys showing disinterest, they do it causse they werent interested to begin with, if you dont like someone and that someone approaches you you will not feel comfy about the situation, guys have to face this a lot but women rarely do so, usually they are being approached so dont really know the feeling of disinterest only when they truly like a guy and try approaching him that they realize that it hurts like a motherfucker to put your dignity and reputation on the line to tell someone you like them... if he likes you and you tried making a move that guy will never say no but if he doesn't and is not interested he will say no with no hesitation ( unless you offer sex cause sex with no strings attached is hard to top ) .

    Basically you're just experiencing a normal phenomenon that men go through all the time to get girls, some like my friend dont give a shit and dont mind getting insulted dozens of times to get just one girl others like me, prefer to go for safer options, girls who show interest and are more likely to play along and not insult me, cause iam a huge bitch once you insult me and i have no desire to take my anger out on girls.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because the guys who want girls to be aggressive and approach them are still in search for their testicles. They will be intimidating or simply lose interest in you after the first ego-boost. Thats not because you are approaching them per se, but because you are the more active part. Exception is if he is really into you either way.

    Reality is most guys are and still want to be hunters aka somehow want to earn the girl. Not as in playing games, but feeling like they did make them interested. The moment you are majorly active you take that away from them. Being active isn't a problem, but being majorly active will cause it. Approaching as a girl is walking on a very thin line and can make you fall down with just one misstep.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I could now go on about why guys still dont approach, etc. but that would be in essay length. Just making it short and say a lot of guys these days are whims.

  • This is an unfortunate dilemma for women, most guys who want women to approach them are also the same type of guys who will then also expect a woman to do literally everything else to steer the 'relationship' forward. That ore they think that a woman approaching them means that either she's desperate or that so hot she couldn't resist. It's a shame tho.
    If a girl approached me, I'd make the effort to get to know her too, I wouldn't let her do all the work.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So I should just stop doing this?

    • I would like to say that you should continue on in the hopes of coming across a sincere and honest guy, but if that only brings you hardship... probably yea...

  • When guys say they want girls to do more approaching/flirting they mean one of two things

    1) they want girls they're interested in to do this
    Or
    2) they still want to do all the initiating but want the girl to make it easier for him to do these things.

    0|1
    0|0
  • How so? As far as i know im a real guy on gag in the real world.. what type of guys do u go for? Sadly u won't see many douches on here if thats what u mean cuz any guy on here asking questions about relationships obviously has a deceng heart enuff to care whereas the bad boys or popular guys will most likely not be on here cuz their pride won't let them.. their all on instagram lol y don't u try asking a question like this on instagram and see how many rude responses u get from those shit headed little bastards lol jus sayin..

    0|0
    0|0
  • we like a girl being assertive and taking what she wants in therory. in reality, we don´t know how to handle it. it happens so rarely, that we are startled if a girl really is like this. my first reaction is to look around for the "hidden camera" cause usually when a girl is like that, it means i´m being messed with.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So there is really no point in doing this... Its just a waste of time for me

    • Show All
    • I know rejction is normal, but you can't blame me for feeling a bit frustrated over the fact that the things guys tell me work doesn't work.. im more confused than anything lol

    • yeah no shit... at least you know what being a guy feels like. as a girl, you can at least hope that some guys show interest in you.

      as a guy this happens mabye twice in your life xD... it happend once to me only, that a girl openly told me she was interested and she wanted to hook up with me. i was so shocked, i told her i had a girlfriend :D she wasn´t my type anyways...

  • Being direct pays off only if the other party is interested. In which case SOMEONE has to take an initiative, but as both parties are interested, the actual "initiator" is irrelevant, as long as someone takes up that "role".

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's odd. I once setup a recon profile on POF and my inbox was absolutely flooded, I should have taken it one step further as a social experiment and responded, but alas I did not.

    I have recently felt the way you describe about being sick of approaching girls. I mean why am I the one who is expected to make the approach. Its almost an automatic DLV; it's as if women are valued more than men (from society's perspective). I feel like if a woman wants to get to know me, then she should approach me, and vice-versa.

    Digression: Honestly I would guess online is better than the real world because it's so much better for filtering. I mean going up and talking to people is the least efficient way to find someone with the qualities one is looking for.

    Maybe there is something in your profile that is turning these guys off?

    I know that if a girl I am talking to even hints at being religious then I am running away as fast as possible.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Difference between irl and app.

    Still nice of you though.

    Im sure you aren't one of them, but many women arnt able to hold up there side of an interesting convo. Because of this, guy lose intrest

    0|0
    0|0
    • So I should just stop doing this and wait for the guy to do most of the approaching?

    • Of course not. Its fantastic that you approach. Sognifies you as a strong woman. Maybe dont use apps.

      Guys who use apps for meeting women are often far more interested in catching tail then a relationship. Your impression may be signaling guys that you are not there for tail.

      Try in real life, or even a dating sote where responses aren't instantaneous and people are looking for more complex things

  • I'd say I like outgoing, flirty extroverted girls. I don't think 'aggressive' is really the right word.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Aggressive as in being honest about wanting sex and initiating sex.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i like agressive girls

    0|0
    0|0
  • Guys dont want agressive women. They just say that hoping to get laid.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It normally works as far as I know. Maybe you need to refine your "Game"? ;)

    It is okay, we'll help you out... Bro.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

Loading...