Perfectly compatible, but both so damaged, I dont know what to do no more?

we've known each other a month, but feels like a lifetime already. We are two and the same, not just when it comes to our dreams and goals but also what we feel and think. In that we both know we are perfect for each other. Both had our fair deal of shit, are incredibly attracted to each other but also have a constant push an pull, which is tiring. For work he had to leave so far away. And I would be able to only see him a couple times these couple of years. He feels things he hadn't felt in an incredible long time, I on the otherside not so sure as I never have felt love but thinking about not seeing him again, not ever kissing him or holding him made me bawl my eyes out, what has never happened before. I am severly commitmentphobic, I dont know if I could be loyal to him. He was my first in many things though. I dont know wheather to fight for this and make it work. Or do the smart thing and break it off before his feelings get even worse? The time we had together was amazing but too short for me to tell if I had feelings or could develop some...


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What Guys Said 2

  • If you both are broken, why not try and fix each other?

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    • Although this is romantic I don't think it is the best thing to do. In Pinocchio, there is a blind fox and a lame cat that help each other with their difficulties. Romantic. What would happen in real life, the lame cat falls over, the blind fox spends an hour walking in circles around the cat. In order for a relationship to work, both have to be healthy.

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    • there is a common saying dysfunction breeds dysfunction. If you don't know how to actively solve the dysfunctional attributes in your character then your kids will have to face the consequences. Never get into a relationship trying to fix another person. It will never end well, and you will just take on their added baggage to your own. There's a difference between flaws in character and flaws in your psyche.

    • Not saying your girlfriend isn't a great girl, but if you truly have problems they will resurface down the road, or be road blocks between a truly great relationship and family life and what you have now. Only a therapist can really solve the problems because they can step into it from a non-biased standpoint with all the knowledge of how humans think. Even if your girlfriend was a therapist, I would still recommend doing that because her perspective on analyzing your relationship would be biased.

  • You should see a therapist. They will help you work through the shit and get to the treasure. If i knew there was a priceless Treasure in a pile of shit, I would be pretty eager to go and get it...

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    • That's a good analogy, if you don't mind, I'm gonna remember that one

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