Is a best friends ex off limits, or would you consider dating them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • it really depends on the circumstances , did it end badly? are they seeing someone else by now? are they ok with idea? do they even care?

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What Girls Said 15

  • I think it's only okay if the friend is okay with it.

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  • First ask the best friend for permission, ater that it's okay. And not too soon after the breakup of course, the friend has to be over the ex first.

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  • I would consider it, but I would only do it if my friend was 100% ok with it. I don't want to step on any toes. Likewise I'd expect the same kind of respect from my friends. If it hurts my friend (i. e. she's not over him yet and needs more time, or the breakup was really bad and she doesn't want him in her life anymore) then I wouldn't do it.

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  • He/She is a Bestie and Best to Stay clear here, Dear... Blood is thicker than water, as they say, but a Pinkie Wear is Right up There as well, A One shot in the Vein with Just as Big a Gain.
    Good luck, @gobsmacked3 xx

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  • It's tricky. I personally wouldn't even go there.

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  • Get your friends approval first. Thats a sensitive matter.

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  • Depends on the reason for the break up, if my friend would be okay with it or not and if they were able to be friends after the break up or not. I don't want to be with someone who cannot be around my best friend.

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  • I'd consider dating them. The world is small. If one could become friends with another friend's friend. Same goes with a girlfriend or boyfriend. Besides, it's usually bound to happen especially when you're so alike with your buddy. If she liked your bestie, she could like you too and way more if you played your cards right.

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  • I wouldn't do it.

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  • No I think it's way off limits.

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  • No chance. Don't do it

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  • No my best friend is of limits he's been that way since high school.

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  • Off limits

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  • Many factors affect whether this can happen or not:
    - How they broke up
    - How long ago they broke up
    - Are they on good terms now
    - Have you been given the green light by your friend.

    Example:
    - They broke up because he wasn't loyal
    - They broke up a month ago
    - She says she's okay with it but probably isn't
    - They hate each other
    Then NO.

    Example 2:
    - They broke up because it just didn't feel right, they had to move away or they drifted
    - They broke up 6 months ago
    - Your best friend is fine with it, like really fine
    - They are able to have a normal conversation with each other
    Then Yes.

    However,
    Always put your best friend first.

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  • It depends. If I really liked them, then I'd talk it over with my best friend. If she was okay with me dating him, I'd date him. If not, then I wouldn't.

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What Guys Said 3

  • This reminded me of a funny thing that happeed to me, there was a girl in my highschool class who was quite attractive and she was dating another guy in my class. He was a nice guy, not my best friend but a friend. Me and the girl were friends too but I never came on to her in any way I respected their relationship and I wasn't very confident with girls anyway :P. We met up sometimes and ate something or just hung out in the city a bit.

    Now that I think back on it maybe she was trying to start something I don't know but even though I thought she was attractive I saw her as off limits so the thought never even entered my mind. One time when we were all out together she drank a bit too much and grabbed my arm and said :" Wow this is getting big have you been working out?" Her boyfriend was sitting right across from me so I just kinda looked at him in a apologetic way. She had also hit on a other guy when she was drunk on a separate occasion so I thought maybe she just gets super horny when she's dunk or something ;).

    Then one day she asked to meet up and I asked just out of curiosity if her boyfriend was coming. She texted me:" Fine then I'll bring him if you really want". Her tone was pretty pissed off in the text and I was very surprised, I texted her she didn't have to bring him if she didn't want to but she said (still pissed) no I'll bring him.
    What followed was the most awkward conversation I've ever been a part of. They were breaking up (but I didn't know that when she texted me) and they basically didn't speak to each other and I was just kinda there trying to make conversation because of all the awkward silences. I'm not the most scially skilled person but I'm ok in a conversation where both parties are participating.

    This situation was too much for me though. What made it worse was that they were both sitting on one side of the table (far apart) and I was on the other so they were both looking at me and I was trying to come up with shit to say but even when I did their responses were so short and led nowhere so it just went silent again. We drank something quick and then left and I was like: "WTF just happened!" I thought we were gonna meet up and have some fun as friends but I walked into a minefield. After that me & her kinda lost contact, she never uses facebook and I always lost my phone (I have adhd lol) or just didn't have one so... The guy and me hang out sometimes grillparty or he really likes squash and I know how to play.

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    • To answer the question if I had known ahead of time that they had broke up and it had been just the two of us meeting up I would have been tempted because she was hot but I guess we'll never know now :P

  • I would say so yes. It can put a strain on your relationship with your friend since he will then have to interact with her more (or you interact with him less because of her) it would create a very uncomfortable situation. If enough time passes then it wouldn't be wrong to ask him (though dependent on his personality this could pressure him into saying he is okay with it when he really isn't) before hand to see if he is fine with it or not. But otherwise yeah I think its off limits.

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  • i've seen it work, but seen be super awkward and destroy relation ships too.
    i wouldn't advice it.

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    • i meant to say relationships, but i prefer the typo

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