How important is space after a break up?

Me and my ex recently broke up cause of some trust issues we've been having. Dishonesty on her part. She wants to work it out but the two times we've hung out since all we do is fight. Should I just distance myself will that make it better? She wants to continue on like everything's ok, sleepovers texting everyday. If I distance myself will this get better or worse? And how do I do this properly?

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    91% (60)90% (45)91% (105)Vote
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What's the end goal here? Is it to remain friends? Try again? Or do you both want to just move on?

    How do you feel?

    I think you need to do some thinkin on this. If you guys are arguing a lot when together, then why try to force being together? Maybe some space will do you both some good. If you do want to get back together in the future, try to identify what is leading to the arguments so that you both can work on those things.

    Both parties need to be willing to make changes and not argue so much.

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Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 9

  • I find even if your end goal is to become friends again, you still need that space to reflect on your thoughts, recover, trust again in people, get over whatever it is that happened (whether you broke up on good terms or bad). And then in months, even a years time, you may be able to have a decent conversation.

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  • If all you do is fight when there's little point in continuing to see one another and just have it happen again and again. It's probably best to leave each other alone.

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    • Do I tell
      Her this or just ignore her all together?

    • Tell her things aren't working and you should be apart.

  • 1) I think it's good if you want to take a step back and redefine the boundaries of the relationship. there shouldn't be a limit on how much time you need. It can be days or weeks, but I think you should openly communicate with the other person so they know where your head space is at and know what to expect

    2) it's bad and damaging if it's an excuse to get someone off your back. I feel like this way its a cop-out

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  • It's essential that you give yourselves time apart and space.

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  • You break up you break up you don't look for space you don't look for closeness you break up you find someone else that's what break up means. Damn all the freaking melodrama that goes around here.

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  • It sounds like it is not working out. Maybe it is time to move on.

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  • If you're my ex, you will NEVER look back after breaking a girls heart! If it's meant to be it will be!

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  • Sorry, are you broken up or not?
    Sleep overs and texting every day is not what EX couples do.

    If all you do is fight seems a bit pointless to just try and bumble along.
    Everything is not ok.

    It will get better4 if you distace yourself most likely.

    But you might also find you start moving on without her.

    if you want to be together try and work things out without fighting.

    If you want to be freinds you need a lot of space first to get over the relationship.

    If you dont want to be together just stop seeing each other and talking to each other.

    To be honest if you are fighting so much then it's probably better to just have some space no matter what the outcome.

    As for doing it properly, be honest, communicate openly and calmly. Come up with a decision. Stick to it / work at it.

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  • I'm friends with almost everyone I dated. I can promise you that the only way this can work out is if you guys go at least 6 months without talking. You each need time to process your feelings. After that you can reconnect and you won't be so emotionally involved in the same arguements. You'll be able to discuss things rationally. And then you can decide if you want to be friends or date again. But you need that space to see things more objectively.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Space is always important to me. I'm hoping I can one day go there through building a space elevator. When I look at the stars on a clear night, I know my destiny lies with them.

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  • It is worthless but a lot of people believe in it's placebo effect and that is enough to make it worthwhile.

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  • Desnt help in my view. Need friends support and move on. Maybe some space from the former love interest yes.

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