Do guys not take hints?

I wanted to ask a guy out to lunch, but I got too nervous to ask. So instead I asked "Have you had your lunch yet?" and his response was "Nope, I think I'll have some later on".

Was that not enough of a hint? Should I just brave this one out and ask him?

Updates:
Guys, how would you want to be asked if I were to ask you to lunch?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, be brave. With all due respect, hinting is for whimps. Would you want him to "hint" at getting together, or would you want him to be bold and direct and say, "I want to get to know you. Have lunch with me." Boys and young men are used to thinking much more literally than most women, who seem to simply use language to "read between the lines." This female approach is all about attempting to not hurt some one's feelings. In other words, it's caretaking, and something that should be saved for children. Adults need a more direct, yet respectful approach, unless you want to spend your entire life trying to figure out what the hidden message is in a statement. I actually had an ex respond to my question, "Do you have a fork?" with "what do you mean?" What it meant was, do you have a fork. That's it. I think women get so used to this vague, hinting, inuendo that they actually lose track of reality. In your question, "Have you had lunch yet?" you are expecting HIM to take responsibility for YOUR fear and say something to prevent you from feeling WHAT YOU ARE ALREADY FEELING--FEAR. Feel your feelings and accept them. They are not death, they are merely feelings! They will not kill you, and they will pass. Men have the same sort fear of their feelings. Much of caretaking prevents people from feeling their actual feelings and responding to them in a healthy manner. Instead, caretaking distracts people from their feelings, and suggests that you are a victim merely for feeling what your body is designed to experience! So, be direct. It's the truth that everyone really wants.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Worst hint ever.

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What Guys Said 40

  • Just ask him. The problem is the fuss SOME women make if we get it wrong. I just answered a question yesterday that a guy posted saying he had been asked for weeks by a woman what he did on his weekends and one day he said to her "I am going to…. this weekend coming do you want to come?" She run off to her boss and he got into trouble. The boss said "I see you have been getting to over friendly with the female staff and you made her uncomfortable." I don't think his side of the story was ever listened to. I am not saying you are like that at all but what I am saying is women like this only cause damage and make it hard for men to ask good women out.

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  • Guys do not take hints.

    Read this thread on reddit. com to understand just how much guys DON'T GET HINTS.
    m.reddit.com/.../male_redditors_what_hints_have_girls_given_you

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  • I would say No, that wasn't enough and can't be taken as a hint, it could be that you are asking a simple question and he gave you an answer to that.

    Yes, I do think that guys/men are not very good at taking hints, you need to be straightforward with them, only then you will get a straightforward reply.

    You could have just asked him saying " I am going for lunch are you coming, or do you want to join me?"

    Can you see the difference in this question and the one you asked?

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  • No guys do not take hints. If you want to make your feelings clear you need to be blunt, so blunt it makes a hammer look sharp in comparison. Guys do not hint or suggest in their regular communications so this is something that routinly goes over our head.

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  • Ask him again if he's had lunch yet and it he says no this time ask him if he wants to grab some lunch together.

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  • you should have followed up with, "wanna get some with me right now?"

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  • No... that's definitely not clear enough... sorry.

    For example if a girl said that to me... I would be wondering why she cared lol (and I might even get mad at her, it's not really her business). I wouldn't pick up on the fact that she wants to spend lunch with me.

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  • Your "hints" piss us off

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  • Lol girls are so crazy, expecting guys to read their minds and ask them out when you're too much of a girl to even grow a pair and be straight up with him lol

    "I clicked on his social media profile ten times, how can he not know I like him?"

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  • We don't like hints, we are a straightforward minded kind of people. Beating around the bush is only fun for us when we are joking around or trying to make someone look stupid.

    Just say, hey I'm going to eat lunch, at this place, do you want to eat with me?

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  • that's not a hint. just fucking ask. just say "hey, have you had lunch yet?"... "no? cool, wanna get lunch with me". boom. easy. 80% of the time, the dude won't even think that's a hint either. that's just asking to eat.

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  • Guys are really bad at picking up on hints, sry :( . Well I am at least, now I think I'm a bit better but when I was younger I had no clue.

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  • U call that a hint?

    That was the least clear thing u could've said

    GO BALLS DEEP

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  • Lmao no. That's not a "hint". That's just a quetion, which he answered literally. Most guys, including myself, don't sit and wonder why she asked me this and that, like everything had some sort of subliminal message. Eh, I might be talking for myself only after all, but I prefer a direct approach. It's bettet if you ask him out because that will give him more confidence and he'll take the lead from there most probably.

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  • That was NOT enough of a hint.

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  • guys usually dont take hints very well. we need you to say what you want us to do or ask a straight forward question.

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  • That's not a hint, that's a question.

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  • We don't take hints. We are not mindreaders.

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  • We can take hints, but it's rather rare - at least to take subtle hints. Most of the time, it's obvious hints that we usually get - not subtle. Just ask the guy if he wants to have lunch with you. Chances are he'll say yes.

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  • that's supposed to be a hint? LOL...

    Even if you said "hey have you had lunch? no? wanna have lunch with me?" that's not enough of a hint. A guy would think oh, she hasn't ate and I haven't ate either, let's eat together, why not, company is great!

    Cmon...

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  • For some guys it will be. For others it won't. He may have though you just wanted to know if he was going to be around the the next little while.

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  • I am so blind when it comes to hints. It isn't on purpose or anything, i just can't put it together for some reason.

    I would respond pretty positively if asked just a simple "hey you want to grab some lunch?"

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  • LOOOOOOOOOL What type of hint is that?

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  • Lets flip the tables for a second. If a guy liked you and he asked you this question would you take that as a hint? Asking someone if they have had lunch yet could mean multiple things in different contexts. Just be straight up with him and be honest.

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  • That was not a hint at all

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  • We guys never get your hints. Next time you see him be upfront and ask him out.

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  • I wouldn't have gotten that hint.

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  • You have to be direct and blunt. No more of these bullshit 'hints.'

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  • Dayum luckyy,, naa wer pretty stupid about that Dx.. so like if a girl n I wer alone.. n she's like.. iv never been kissed befor.. was that a hint? Dx

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  • that really wasn't a good hint tbh... just ask him.

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What Girls Said 7

  • That wasn't much of a hint.

    but no, boys are really bad at picking up on hints honestly. Like you gotta be blatantly obvious and sometimes even then they don't pick up on it :P

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  • You should ask him directly but sometimes they don't even get direct questions! lol

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  • Lol men are very... interesting species they like direct instead of subliminal questions/statements. So sometimes you just have to say it flat out.

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  • Don't take it so badly, you don't show all your cards. But knnow when to pull them! Trial and error, thats all I got

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  • lol i know right, i am so tired of giving hints that i started to just directly say to the guy i am into.

    i am a type of girl who can't "wait" for the responses i want, so rather than playing guessing-hint games, i just say it directly xD

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  • You should be honest and be direct like a grown woman and ask him

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  • Guys are so frustrated over this😂 😂
    Like everyone else said, you need to be more direct and ask what you want from them.

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