I kinda ruined my life... when i was 18 all of a sudden i got REALLY depressed and quit going to school for about 3 years straight, in those three years i could finished school and continue my education... i have no idea why i got depressed and at 21 i went back to school, i will never forgive myself for it because i needed those 3 years, i just wanted to sabotage myself and just slept and ate, i lost contact with friends etc. Beforehand, when i was 11 till about 16,5 i had tough medical problems that made apathetic towards life, i hated life, people and felt out of control because my body was doing something i couldnt control, before that i was raised by a mother who was mentally ill and extremely emotionally abusive and my dad left us when i was 3, those two things scarred me for life, i dont trust men and i dont know what love is, so i never dated really or been in a serious relationship... i feel damaged and depressed,, today i even considered ending it because i JUST DONT know how to deal with life, i really dont. What could be wrong with me?
Most Helpful Guy
I suggest finding a person who will listen to your problems over bottling them up. Your mom doesn't sound like a person to turn to and it sounds like you don't have siblings. Try a counselor. I know there is a depression phone line where I'm at that people can talk to anytime. Never gone down that road but I've seen ads for it.
Depression is tough to deal with but in order to overcome it you need help externally and you need to help yourself by finding that person to talk to. I always feel better talking out my problems to a non judgmental person.0
Most Helpful Girl
That's the thing with people who had really bad childhoods they tend to turn the anger in on themselves... you'll find yes you do have something wrong with you, you found out earlier than most what a cruel world we live in now you sit and wait for the next bad thing to happen to you... but none of it is your fault... same situation as you my dad hit us a lot and was abusive... he left if he saw us in the street he'd ignore us. Went from bad relationship to another... were hated myself, I know I'm different from other people and you know you are too... but one thing I keep optimistic about I was never sexually abused so even though I feel how I do I know there's worse off than me. I'm staying single while I figure out my life and rebuild trust in people... you need to figure out what will work for you... I'm not going to patronise you and type you have so much to live for as right now you can't see through the Forrest... I feel that way sometimes as well but I'm keeping going because I got this far and so have you. I think eventually your life will click into place because something goods got to happen once in our lives. You need therapy someone to talk to to find the root and to cure it... as for school you weren't planning on becoming a lawyer were you? If not then go to some adult classes get a certificate to get you into college to get a degree... nothing is impossible in life.
The depression you had is still there and depression is anger turned inwards.. did you know that? I'd invest in a punchbag if I were you and turn that anger outwards.. take all you're anger and punch the bag until you feel better..
Good luck on your future..0