Went through my girls phone and found bad stuff but now she's mad that I went through it to begin with, was I wrong?

So I recently got access to my girls phone she left it on the table open and went to the washroom. I found texts from her friends boyfriend they were sexting, I confronted her and use asked how I knew and I told her but now she's mad at me, I know we're both wrong but can she really be all that mad? I only went through it that one time and it was cause I had a funny feeling for a while.

  • Right to be mad
    51% (36)65% (39)58% (75)Vote
  • Shouldn't be
    49% (34)35% (21)42% (55)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's very annoying when privacy laws and political correctness creep into relationships! If I were dating someone, why would I mind them looking through my phone unless of course I have skeletons in my closet? She's mad because she got busted! She's cheating on you and cheating on her friend - is that who you really want to vest your time and energy on? Dump the double cheater!

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What Girls Said 23

  • you violated her trust, and she violated yours. now you're even.

    both of you are right to be upset, but you had no right to go through her stuff. if you had to snoop, it means that you never trusted her to begin with and should probably end the relationship now, for your sake and hers.

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  • Well, she does have the right to be mad that you went through her phone but you have the right to be mad that she was cheating. Neither of you are entirely in the wrong but her reaction is because she's trying to defend herself against you and make it seem like the issue is all your fault.

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  • Just because you found something doesn't mean she can't be mad. Her being wrong doesn't make you automatically right. Imagine what a jerk you would feel like if you didn't find anything. It's like reading a diary.

    That being said I wouldn't really care if anyone went through my phone if I'm dating them because I'm not hiding anything. I would personally dump someone who was texting someone else's guy. Not only is she letting me down if we're in a relationship, but she's letting down a friend who she's probably known a very long time by tainting her relationship with someone else.

    Too self centered, jerky, lacking in morals, not a good girlfriend, not a good friend, and she's trying to turn it all on you.

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  • I think her reaction was more about being defensive than it was about you going through her phone. She knows she's wrong, but doesn't want to admit it.

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  • If she had nothing to hide she wouldn't have been pissed at you for going through her phone, however going through someone's stuff specifically looking for evidence of bad behaviour is still a bit of a dick move.

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  • Honestly, you shouldn't be going through your GF's phone.. however, she has no right to turn this around on you considering she was fucking around..

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  • Ok first of all if you had any inclination to check her phone that shows you don't trust her and she is giving you a reason to feel that way. You should be confident enough and be a damn man and if your girl is acting up ESPECIALLY SEXTING SOMEONE ELSE grow a pair and kick her to the curb. Don't be a weak desperate loser and stay with her. Show her that you have zero tolerance for cheaters.

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  • She's wrong; that almost feels like cheating to me

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    • Almost? So if your guy sexted another girl you would be thinking that he almost cheated on you?

      Is sexting in your country normal?

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    • @singlebee lmao what the hell? no way, I'm not. And I know most girls aren't. If we love a guy and are in love we do not want to cheat or even flirt

    • Thank God to that.. :-D

  • People often do this in arguments. She is trying to avoid being the bad guy by turning it round and being the victim so you can't be mad anymore.

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  • Even if she did have a right to be mad, you have even more of a right to be mad.

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  • Pretty ridiculous she's mad at you lol you shouldn't go through people's stuff but what she did is way worse.

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  • You were wrong but you also have the right to be mad she's sexting someone else. next time confront her don't go through her phone.

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  • She is the one who had done the bad thing.

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  • I voted for right to be mad. It was none of your business she has a right to privacy even with you as a boyfriend. She won't trust you again now :)

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  • What kind of BAD stuff?

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  • You were wrong for going through her phone but she was also wrong for cheating. Basically, both of you are in the wrong.

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  • She definitely does have the right to be mad, but she should not have been sexting with her friend's boyfriend. So although it was wrong of you to do that, what you found was very important.

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  • That's nice

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  • Well obviously she's wrong, sure it wasn't right invading her privacy, but she did something much worse than that. In different circumstances you would have been wrong to look through her phone, but as of now it's more so about why she is sexting other men. I'm sure she is more upset that you found out rather than just being mad about you invading her privacy.

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  • Was it wrong for you to go through her phone? Yes, but now that you caught her doing something wrong and shady, she's even more mad that you caught her for that! I feel like the blame has shifted and now she's the one who's wrong. She lied to you. She was sexting some guy and that is even worse then going through a phone, that's cheating, You wouldn't have known that if you didn't go through her phone.

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  • Cheaters will alwys get mad when caught then accuse you of snooping. You had every right to. Id dump her. And i am a girl so yea.

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  • Yes it is wrong to go through somebodies phone.
    What would be worse is if she had nothing to hide.

    The fact of the matter is it's wrong you feel you have to do that in the first place, like you say, something didn't feel right.

    I can see why she is angry with you but this seems more to do with hte fact that she is caught out rather than she is innocent and hurt by the fact you didn't trust her.

    If a boyfriend looked through my phone, I wouldn't be angry or mad at them.
    I would be a bit upset they feel they need to.
    I would also feel like my privacy has been snooped at.
    Ultimately I am aloud to have conversations with friends which are personal.

    But mad no. Just a bit Sad.

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  • Yes she has a right to be mad, you shouldn't have done it. BUT what she did was a lot worse, so she should be begging your forgiveness. What you did was wrong but hers was so much worse that she gave up all rights to being mad. She's acting mad now to be defensive, it's a manipulative action. She's doing it to get you to stop being mad. But she was cheating - yes, sexting IS cheating. So don't let her play you. You have every right to be upset, angry, mad, hurt.

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What Guys Said 22

  • If you had a funny feeling from the get go, you must have known something was up. thats called distrust... you knew something was up but were still with her. then you went ahead and violated her personal space, damn straight she has every reason to be angry with you, and you have no reason to be.
    I always tell everyone, and my girls, that if you are gonna go behind my back and snoop through my things, don't confront me about stuff that you find. You went looking for dirt... you found it... now shut the hell up. If i wanted to show it to you or talk about it, i would have, but i didn't. now you found it, good for you, just don't talk to me about it. there is a reason why it wasn't exposed, i didn't want to talk about it.

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    • I completely agree that the way he proceeded was not justified. But it is good that I find someone with your clearly defended viewpoint on here, because here is what I am wondering.

      I think that his right way to proceed with the request was expressing his sense of distrust and asking for an explanation. Do you agree?
      Then, if he would not be given anything to ease his doubts, he might after a while have decided to ask the person to help them get past his view, or announce that he would not be able to continue with that trust-less relationship. Do you agree?

      On the other hand, regarding the actions of the girlfriend, cheating was not acceptable for the simple reason that she did not announce her desires to the boyfriend before. He should be given the choice of whether he wants to accept her behaviour, otherwise there is no reason for there to be a mutually giving relationship between them, because neither one can trust the other. Agreed?

    • @Laetitian damn, you went technical on me... you agreed with all three... he has a right to have a sense of doubt but he cannot justify snooping which he did. so what ever he found... that was ON HIM. its the same reason why the court of law does not consider evidence found without a warrant. if no one knew you were going searching... what you find is inadmissible. homie went looking for dirt... he found dirt. thats why i don't go looking for dirt... he should have stuck with his feelings... if he felt like something was off... he should have asked...

  • Yeah what you did was wrong but what she did was worse. She was angry because you caught her not because what you did was so bad. She is just attempting to reverse it on to you to try and shift blame away from her. She betrayed your trust and her friends trust, she sounds like a terrible person I think you shouldn't be asking if your girlfriend has a right to be mad you should be asking if your EXgirlfriend has a right to be mad.

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  • People who love one another don't have to keep secrets. Her reaction is so typical of people who have been busted for wrongdoing. If she continues to show anger at you and no remorse for her sexting DUMP HER.

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  • Wait a fucking min... She is sexting another guy? Why aren't you breaking up? What you did is only wrong if she is doing anything wrong to you...

    If she is doing wrong to you then it's completely OK... To check her phone...

    But why aren't you breaking up? She is a slut who is cheating on you... And you are worried about your sneaking act?

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  • Invasion w/o permission = can't be trusted = YOU
    Hiding her bad actions that scream how little she thinks of you while pretending to love you = can't be trusted HER + divorce + never talk/see her again EVER = gutter snake HER

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  • Man, sounds like you need to dump her anyway. She's not a one-guy gal.

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  • Fuck her and her mad moods. She's angry she got caught not the fact you went through the phone. Women always try to shift the blame back to you. You're the one who should be angry not her. I'd have dragged her out the house by her hair and told her to get to fuck

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  • You are an idiot.

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  • I'm not sure how she can be all that mad if she was "sexting" with some other guy. Yes, both of you were in the wrong.

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  • 64% of women think it's okay for her to be mad really? Look I never looked through any of my girlfriends phones and have actually had it done to me before. I was upset but it's like comparing apples in oranges. If the situation was flipped I bet at least half of those yes votes would change.

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  • She isn't built for monogamous commitment, I would break up with her.

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  • Man... she's been mentally cheating on you and you're more worried about being wrong for snooping?

    People these days o_o

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  • 50% of women on this poll think u shouldn't be mad lol
    why hide things from each other, thats not what a real relationship is, fuk it thats why relationships dont work

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  • i voted she has the right to be mad. but the why the hell you care dump her and find someone who is only interested in you.

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  • Like your daughters phone? You have a right,

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  • Just leave this bitch.

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  • She should be fine.

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  • You going through her phone is just as bad, if not worse.

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  • She's mad because she got caught!! Dump her!

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  • You should be mad at her
    I would dump her personally

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  • Time to start looking for another warm wet hole...

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  • Gut instincts are almost always right; and in this case you were right. You have every right to be mad, and every right dump her sorry ass

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