Girls, Guys, how long do you accept that your partner takes to reply your message?

My boyfriend and me are in long distance relationship.
we use Facebook messenger for contacting.
He is busy working in most of time that he sometimes check his messenger less than one time in a day.
But he always fly to visit me two times in a month and spend holidays with me.
He doesn't have to work on weekend but he often takes 5 or more hours to reply my message. This makes me feel not good.
Whats more, like right now, I asked him a question six hours ago, and he had been online for two times, but he just doesn't read and reply ny message.
But i know he has seen my message, I am pretty sure because when I am angry, he always replies quick.
We don't do FaceTime/Skype often too, only one time a week.
He thinks texting is not a big deal, last time we were talking about this and he said he thinks it's crazy if a girl leaves a guys just because he doesn't contact her for a week.
But I can't understand, if a guy likes this girl, even though he's super not clingy, but why wouldn't he want to contact her and think about her?
I mean, texting just need few seconds!
Its okay that he doesn't chat with me everyday, all I want is just spent less than 10 minutes a day to reply message.
I consider he likes me because he's a guy who precious his time so much that I am sure he won't take few hours and spend money to fly to see me that often if he doesn't like me.
So... Am I asking too much?
Really don't know if I should be angry on this but it really bothers me.


What Guys Said 0

No guys shared opinions.

What Girls Said 3

  • It bothers me too! Like you could take a few seconds to brush your teeth, 15 mins to take a shower and why not message me?

    Have you ever address your concerns with him? Tell him that you're uncomfortable with this. I've seen people who broke up cos of this, even though it 'might not be a big deal'. If you guys are starting out, maybe less than a year then this feeling is more strongly felt. Otherwise, I advise you to occupy your time with doing things you like to get your mind off of him.
    You can't possibly go 'why are you online and you didn't reply me' or 'can you let me see who you're messaging'. Those could be serious deal breakers in relationships, especially LDR. Only thing you can do is to trust him.

    Get your friends out for shopping date, watch a movie etc. Keep your mind off him! That's how I cope with my own situation and it works.

    If you've tried to address this issue with him and he's unwilling to compromise, then it could be hard if he doesn't prioritize you, especially so in the future.

    • by the way, I've seen lags/bugs within FB messenger which caused the user to appear online sometimes. It's not that common but it happens!

    • Hey thank you so much. I really appreciate your reply. I've tried to occupy all my time, 9-18 working, 19-23 part time job. I also do a lot things on weekend. But it feels worse when after doing all these things and still get no reply from him. Actually he doesn't have to work this week so he replies within one hour. But it's just not enough because we are just discussing things instead of chatting. I don't want to ask him to ask me how was my day. I don't want to force him if he doesn't have that intention. However I love him so much:(

    • Well, you can take the initiative and ask about his day instead! Like, how's your day, have you eaten etc. All those are good neutral questions which might actually prompt him to ask you back. Try to engage him on talks about your daily life and get him to share about his. Endless discussion can be a bore at times :<
      Good luck tho! I understand how you feel :)

  • I'm not sure it really depends what you're relationship is like. You need to express your views to him and try and compromise how you both would like to communicate with each other.

    • I tried and he said he just doesn't want to keep an eye on his phone, I know he doesn't like texting (maybe). I do want to express but in another hand I don't want to give him pressure. You must understand that guys don't like pressure...

  • If I know and he tells me he is busy and he tells me that he won't able to talk in certain hours, or days, I will be cool, but of course miss him as well.

    • Yes I miss him badly. Can't figure out why he doesn't feel the same way. I tried to be cool, and I've been cool for a long time, i feels like I am coming lately single when he's not by my side. And I am also afraid that he might disappear someday. There's just so many negative thoughts inside me, but I think I am not asking too much..

    • Completely single*