Hi all, Assalamualaikum my name is susan I was born American catholic and converted to muslim 3 months ago. I been dating a muslim man who is Indian/ Pakistani for 7 months I live in United States he lives in Canada. We talk everyday and have fell deep inlove I know he loves me but he confessed that he don’t think his mom would accept me since I been married and have 4 kids (she’s very traditional) he has been married before with one child and now divorced. My kids live with there father I work a lot im very nervous cause we want a future together but he won’t even mention to his mom that he has a friend as I requested saying it’s to early although he told me he wants to spend his life with me. I would never ask him too choose his family over me but I don’t want to lose him I’m willing to do anything for our us to be together. Do you think his traditional mom would accept? Will he give me up if she says no? What can I do for her to accept or any advice on what to tell him top get him to tell him mom I know he don’t want to hurt her. Please any advice oh also he has told his friends and cousins about me I spoke to cousin twice I just don’t want to be a secret anymore
Most Helpful Guy
You have some major problems.
First, you are impulsive - you act before thinking about the consequences of what your are doing or thinking fully about the challenges ahead.
Second, it's one of those challenges. You asked " Do you think his traditional mom would accept? Will he give me up if she says no?"
Well, none of us will know!! You need to have found that out first before doing anything rash like converting. In particular, I am DEEPLY CONCERNED that you don't know the answer to "Will he give me up if she says no?" If he would gave you up after his mother says "No" then he is not a real man. This is a major problem in backward cultures like Islam which suppress individuality. You should know the answer to that mother-says-no question before doing anything else.
So, my advice is find out immediately the answer to that question. The mother's answer is only slightly irrelevant because that would indicate the possibility of mother-in-law problems. But if that man would give you up if the mother says "No", then that says oceans about the kind of man he is and how supportive he would have been had the mother said "yes".
A husband's job is to be there for his wife and make her #1 before anyone: mother, father, religious leaders or anyone else.
Other than that, you are 32. It is time to grow-up yourself, look in the mirror, and discover who you really are before making ANY additional major life decisions.1
Most Helpful Girl
Leave your religions out of it.1