WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?

im 20 and im still single. i feel like all i attract is guys who just want sex, or nothing serious. everyine keeps sying my time will come but when. my friends always get the guys. if i dont give them what they ask for they leave. im always the other girl.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • lets play devils advocate here. when the evil guy says boobs/pussy now this is a stick up. lol see what i did there :) . what do u say to them/him? no? tommorow? when we get married? lol... like what do they say to u and what do u say back? this is actually important. the reason is, is because while the guy should not ask RIGHT away, u should ask the guy to ask fairly quickly. now its up to u to figure out when u THINK u want to if at all. no u put out a COUNTER offer. the guy thinks about it and usually calms down for a while. *we will play long time scenario* after a while the guy will get tired again and be like i want it now... are we there yet? this is round 2 of the deal. u can either try to call his bluff, dangerous because ur testing how much he cares about u vs what ever time u set previously, as he is already claiming he can't wait now. or u can try to work with him on a new deal, or just completely fold and give in there. new deal basically repeats step 1 but its a quicker date than previously so he feels he won something. maybe instead of moving the date up, u guys do a show and tell with some distance between u, that way u can't jump up on each other *this is me with shifty looking eyes on both parties, i know guys and girls get when naked flesh pops out*. there is lots of things u can come up with that is NOT actual sex to appease this annoying lets have sex bull shit that u dont like. if u think a guy only wants sex u won't trust him, if a guy thinks ur not going to give him sex, he's not goign to waste his time on u. SOMEONE has to take the gamble, few years ago relationships use to be a lot more about two people vs now all about one or the other. anyway im sure u got some ideas now go forward grasshoppa and catch a boyfriend :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You might be looking for guys at the wrong places or aren't putting yourself out there enough. I mostly managed to get dates by being social, going out with friends a lot of and through dating apps/sites. If you are finding yourself only getting guys who want sex then it's also a indication you are going for the wrong TYPE of guy.

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What Guys Said 34

  • I'm 25 and still single. None of the women that I've met so far have really managed to keep me interested. I don't approach a woman with the intention of just having sex or nothing serious; I look for what I like about her and what I don't like, and I ask myself if I could live with the negatives and still have a healthy relationship with her in the distant future. My problem now, may just be that I'm too used to being single. I've gotten really picky about the red flags that determine an instant no-go on a potential girlfriend/wife too. Being 20 and single isn't bad at all; I think it's a good age to figure out what you want and don't want in a significant other. You can even do some personal development while you figure things out. Don't mind your friends and their relationships; even if you turn 23 and are still single, it won't be too late. Just don't decide that you're going to be single for life and deny every male that attempts to get to know you. (I know that this does not turn out well from experience)

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  • I would say that you are attracting this type of guy into your life. Basically you attract what it is you think. Mainly about yourself, if you have high standards and are comfortable in your skin and or have confidence in yourself. Also know what you want and don't want in a guy, screen them if you're not sure Amazon has a book called 1001 questions to ask before you get married and covers every category that you need to know to make an informed decision on who to let into your life and who to let go. Another thing to look at is the pattern of your behavior, are you classy or trashy in your attitude. Most players naturally gravitate toward women of lower self esteem and self worth, if you need to work on yourself. Sexy is an attitude not a dress size.

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  • well then, change your mindset. You are too hooked and looking for commitment and are upset its evading you, so... change your mindset and just fuck and leave. My best girl friend does that... its funny really.
    either you change your mindset, or you keep waiting.
    in my opinion really, i think you should just make the approach yourself, and if you can't, well... Back to waiting...
    in my experience... people who do the whole waiting thing, usually end up getting hurt... just saying

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  • You are still young, and there is nothing wrong in being single. If you are trying then keep trying which you are already doing. Sometimes yes it happens that you tend to attract wrong type of people, but then it may not be your fault entirely.

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  • There is to me no time limit saying you must be a couple or with another by a certain time frame, when the moment is there and it will come.. just seize it.. could be for right now you and your body just may not be totally all in as yet.. but on the bright side sometimes things are worth in the long run just letting the the puzzle of... relationship pieces... and those kinds of relationships have a way of playing out that way.. take care

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  • No reason to panic at 20.

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  • Out of curiosity:
    - Do you do your side to keep conversations going with them?
    - Do you share personal information about yourself with them?
    - Do you ask them personal questions about themselves?

    I'm just saying this because something deeper than just sex has to be based on knowing each other. Are you sure you are getting the right impression that they only want sex? Have they said that specifically and/or made specifically sexual advances? I mean there are a lot of guys who only want sex, that's true. But if you personally aren't engaging enough with people or aren't open to letting them into your life, then nothing serious is going to happen. Maybe you already know that, I just wanted to point that out

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  • just hold out for the right guy for you

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  • Oddly I get shocked reactions when I tell people I'm single... which is weird since the only time I wasn't rejected I got cheated on... but enough about my problems...

    It probably depends on where you are going to meet guys... bars tend to be hook up zones... most guys going there aren't looking for a relationship. I'm probably still single because I refuse to go to a bar to drink...

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  • I think you are just in that age group where things are so unknown. Careers tends to be the biggest issue at that age. Guys want to focus on getting a good job so they don't want strings if they have to pick up and leave.

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  • clearly a girl who REALLY wants a relationship.
    don't focus on what you WANT, its about what you ARE.
    i wouldn't want a relationship with some who is desperate.
    Wait out your time, do the things you love, be who you want to be and somewhere among those lines you shall find the one.

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  • Maybe you should accept the fact that a lot of guys want to know if they're sexually compatible before going into something longer term.

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    • well i tell myself that i dont want to miss out because i was being plan hard to get or i was holding my wall up.

    • If you want to fuck then do it! Only play hard to get if you genuinely don't want sex. Nothing wrong with wanting sex or fucking casually. In fact, a lot of times stronger bonds can be forged with sex.

  • your just 20 and asking this im 24 and im single since soo many years, i would suggest you to have some hope and wait, good things come to those who wait.

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  • maybe your type a guy you go after is wrong? i would suggest venture out of the normal guys and approach guys who seem to really to be different than your norm.

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  • "im 20 and im still single. i feel like all i attract is guys who just want sex, or nothing serious"

    That's true, and it's up to you to weed out the ones who just want to bang from those who want more.
    Keep on fighting the good fight!!

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  • What are you expecting from the guys you date? What do you want in the relationship?

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    • i do want a relationship

    • im tiered of being the friend who doesn't have a someone or a boyfriend

    • I have found that we usually get what we strive for... you are in control of your actions and always pay attention to what people do and if it is in line with what they tell you... if it isn't then you know you should move on...

  • Nobody said finding love was easy. And if they did, tar and feather them for me.

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  • I'm sorry you haven't found any decent guys. I have time finding decent girls too, but I have higher standards. So, that's a different thing.

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  • Maybe you reject a lot of guys.

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    • well iv gotten that i look unapproachable and i have a resting bitch face, so maybe i look intimidating and

    • Oh. That's why. You better smile and be aware of your body language. Don't cross your arms, be open.

    • how can i get a guy to approach me

  • Why should a guy want to tie himself up with you in a committed relationship, when so many other girls at your age only want sex?

    If you are looking for something more serious, maybe you should look for guys closer to 30.

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    • Not true, I know plenty of guys my age that would be ok with a committed relationship

  • Maybe you just live in an area with low quality men

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    • yea i do i live in a small town where everyone knows everyone

  • All guys want sex. Good luck finding one that doesn't

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    • I should add that this isn't the only thing we want. We also want conversation, to hang out, to cuddle.

  • I'm about to turn 20 and I'm still single, I'm honestly waiting for the right girl

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  • That's because all guys want sex, nothing serious, you don't have a specific issue.

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  • because u want to exclusively date hot guys which other women want.

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  • maybe your not hot enough. or maybe your too hot.

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  • Because you choose to be.

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  • "Still single"? Here I thought I was answering someone who was in her 30s or older.

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  • Sex is part of a relationship if you don't agree date jesus freaks everyone else is banging

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  • The key here is to fuck em, then trap em.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Ah, I was once you. Same mind set and everything. It's the way you present yourself and the fact that you even give them the opportunity to try and get what they want from you. I'm not talking down on you, but telling you what I know because I used to do the same thing.

    Once you get out of that mind set you start to meet real MEN who actually want something more than just sex. Stop worrying about who your friends are getting. Start worrying about yourself and the people you surround yourself with. You WILL find the right guy, but you can't rush it, either. Also when you meet a guy, be straight forward about what you want and don't want. If they can't respect that, they're not for you.

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  • My God girl – you are only 20 years old. You are correct guys arrange just want sex. Don't get married until you late 20s. Learn experience you will lamenting your fate before you fade even started

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  • You are just 20 dont worry the right one will come on board. Experience your life now being single what is wrong to be single at your age? If you feel frustrated you are still single at 20, that is nothing comparing to ladies who are still sinlge and hnever ever had had a boyfriend in past years or even dating at mids 40, s that is frustrating!!! (this si my case)

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  • One, being single is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it means you need time to work on yourself first before bringing someone else into the picture. Cliche as it sounds, its really all you can do at this point.

    Second, the best relationships happen when you aren't actively seeking love. When you're living your own life and find someone special its because you aren't looking for someone because you're lonely, desperate, worried about being alone, etc.

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  • I don't want to sound like a momma bear - but you are way too young to settle!! I almost got married at 20 - bullet DODGED!

    I'm 29, I've had great relationships - but non of them where The Guy.

    Trust girl. Have fun! And stop rushing shit!! Have fun with your girls, travel as much as you can, live on your own - and in due time, he'll be there.

    Promise.

    Take care of number one first though.

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  • I wonder what sort of guy are you looking for?

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  • I'm almost 18.. n I hve never been in a relationship while majority of my friends hv

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  • Please tell me, how are you a black woman and people say you look middle eastern/Arab?

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    • iv had a lot of middle easterns come up to me and ask me if im half armenian, persian, etc thats why

    • hmm thats really funny. I do not know a lot of full black americans/african americans that look half arab unless they are actually mixed with something. Maybe its because you have light skin or something?

  • Are you too easy?
    Meaning, do you quite easily give them the attention they want?
    at least this was the reason why I got the attention from assholes who just wanted me for sex :')

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    • well i feel like if im friendly and i go with the flow they would be intrested in me, but once i get the intentions its just because i have a nice body and they want me to sit on their face, i know its for sex.

    • Awwwh yes, this is exsactly the same path I always went down!:( ... I would recommend trying to meet other people! Not sure how you're first meeting these dudes who just want you for sex, but I would take a different path to meet new people!!:) I mean, at least since I've done this, I've seen to have attracted the right guys... For my taste anyway aha!

      I wish you the best!

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