Ugh, GaG never disappoints with the self righteous doom and gloom replies.
You are the first person he's dated since the divorce. He is concerned on several layers.
1. Son tells ex wife about you, ex wife makes your bf's life a living hell, possibly even refusing to allow him to come around son if she is vindictive like that. Either way, very uncomfortable.
2. Son may be resentful of new woman, so boyfriend wants to ease you in to his life
3. Not sure how long you have been dating but most divorced folks are very careful about bringing people they are dating into kids' lives until they are sure things have staying power. Even then, introducing them as a "friend" is safer for everyone at first.
The lists go on and on and do NOT include being ashamed of you in any way.
Yeah. You're wrong. Particularly based on how long you've been together. You are not the kids mother. You would be invading his mother's memory. That should not be done until things are solidified between you two. He knows his kid. You don't.
You're entirely self-centered right now. You're not thinking about his kid. You're not thinking about him. All you're thinking about is "Oh my God, you want to pretend like we're not together? So you don't respect me or value me enough to introduce me to your son?" Entirely self-centered.
So what did you want? HIM: Hey , this is the woman I am having sex with now that your mom left us. You'll call her mom or get smacked. Get it?
He is a kid dammit. It can be straining. Getting to know you first as a person will help creating a bond. If he directly gets to know that you're dating his dad, he'll see you as someone who's replacing his mom.. Not as an individual.
Yes you are wrong, and came off as an insensitive bitch. That's a kid he's talking about, kids can get hurt by things like this. Its good if you first get introduced as a friend so the kid doesn't sees you as any 'danger' and if he likes you he might be able to accept you as a mom
I know two men whose 2nd wives are younger than their kids.
Kids have strong feelings sometimes about who their parents are dating. This goes away when they grow up, but in the meantime, you should play through. See how his son reacts to you. He knows him better than you do. It may not be the right time to spring the news that you are his dad's girlfriend.
You're taking the 'self-respect' thing way too far. Having come from a broken home, I can say to full effect that you would be better off going as 'just the friend' than 'the girl he's fucking'. Why do I say this? The kid could get emotional. I chewed my dad out for bringing a girl home before, and I chewed her out as well. Say something like that happened to you, would you feel better knowing that 'hey, at least my man introduced me as the girlfriend!', or would you feel like shit?
I can tell you have no experience with divorced parents, so I'd suggest you drop your pride and trust that your boyfriend knows what he's doing. It's not like he's sneaking you around his wife, considering they're broken up. Use your brain.
He should have just said "This is my friend". Because it shows that he cares for you, but also doesn't show you're his girlfriend until everyone knows for sure it's going to work out in the long run.
It's hard for kids to constantly be meeting mom or dad's dates that don't stick around. It's also not good to lie about you being a co-worker. There should be nothing wrong with introducing you as his friend.
I dont think u are wrong.. but like... try to put yourself in his shoes, that first meeting means a lot to him and he wants to know what his kid thinks about you, might not seem like a lot but saying girlfriend and friend can have a huge influence on the thoughts his son will have about u the first time u meet him
Both of my parents introduced me to the people they were seeing at that time as their friends and it was easier to accept the fact they were together later on
Lol, NO. If he's ok with lying to his son about the person he's dating, then he's ok about lying to you. And he doesn't see your relationship as serious enough to tell his son he's with you. Odds are, he wants his son to give him his opinion of you, not because he cares about you liking his son. Either way, the answer should be no. And he needs to grow up and stop acting like a teenager himself.
I don't think so. He could have said you were his girlfriend, since this is a teenager and not a 5-year-old who doesn't understand what dating is. Or he could at least said you were his friend, not just some chick he works with.
No you are not wrong. He was wrong to ask that of you. If he can not find the courage to be honest with his son then you shouldn't meet him until he can. I also suggest telling him how you feel about this.