If this girl was in a long term relationship, but you found out it had a lot of baggage like her ex had cheated on her, verbally abused her, that they were together for a long time, and been through a lot together. Would you give her a chance and not judge her on the past relationship or loose all interest?
No, because she damaged goods
6% (3)18% (15)13% (18)Vote
It depends on how well we connect
43% (23)42% (35)43% (58)Vote
Yes, because that's he past and I'd treat her better
One thing to be cautious of here when dating someone with baggage, is that after they have left the abusive relationship is that they at times will feel powerless and be reminded of that time. It's important to treat them with compassion and empathy however, do not tolerate being abused set strong boundaries upfront, if not they will indirectly hurt you. As a guy I would and have dated these girls, however when their feelings became so twisted and reality was distorted to the point that they became physically violent, I let them go, I have enough self respect that I don't allow for abuse to occur and I don't care what they've been through we've all been through some crap, however that is never an excuse not to get help or do something about it. If someone is actively doing something about it, I'm all in 100%, if they refuse help or act as if everyone else is the problem but them, they lose out in the long run. My only concern is the present moment not their past.
I think it depends on how you carry yourself and act now. I was in a verbally abusive relationship for years before my current boyfriend and you have to take some time for yourself, realize why you accepted that treatment, take personal responsibility for staying, set standards for how you're treated in the future. Don't punish your new boyfriend for your ex's mistakes.
The fact that you chose to stay in a relationship like that will be a big red flag to a lot of people and it really should be because it says a lot about your self respect. That being said, people need to understand that other people screw up and some of us have the ability to learn from those mistakes.
I have a really awesome boyfriend now, who of course questions why I stayed with someone like that but we can talk about it and he can empathize with me because I can just be honest and say yeah I was just young and being fucking stupid lol
yes just have to be more understanding and patient but i will say that a lot of women never fully trust again after going through something like that. So it could be a losing battle but everyone has issues just would remain to be seen if could be worked through.
Yes, I would date her, but if she wants me to date her more times, she needs to forget about her previous relationship, not to be always on the defensive and try to entrust on me. I think that everyone can have a bad past and a better future, but I don't want to put up about her past bad relationship.
Depends on the baggage and how well we connect. Some girls get abused and always find a way back to their abuser. If it's that level of damage and she's not talking to a therapist, then I would stay away before I invest too much in her.
There's a saying that you should never pursue a woman whose heart is with another man. Similarly, if he's addicted to the abuse and she thinks that what love looks like, it doesn't matter how good you are the her. Because you don't abuse her, she won't feel love for you the same way and will possibly leave you for her abuser if he decides to come back. Because that's "real love " in her mind.
Why would I not want to be with her? I would even say it's better because obviously, she is not the type to flee as soon as problems arise. Also, I don't have to be perfect to be better than the last guy. I find it kind of reassuring.
Yes I would date her. In some twisted way, it might be even better than dating a girl that had awesome previous relationship AND I love to take care of people so a little 'damaged' is totally fine for me.
I don't care about a guys past relationships as long as the baggage doesn't impact our relationship.
I'm really sad that 13 people said no.
I've had really bad relationships and yes, it was hard but I'd only get into a new relationship when I was ready. I can't help that my ex's decided to abuse, cheat and rape me, but the least you can do is treat me 100x better than they did. After all, any bit of kindness would be huge for me so you wouldn't have to do much.