Is rude to reject a guy because you don't like his appearance?

I mean.. if you reject to going on a date with him because you don't find him good looking even if you don't know exactly hw is his personality?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not at all. You're allowed to like or dislike anyone for any reason no matter how significant it may be to someone else. It's only rude if you reject him in an insulting way. We are all human beings and we should all be treated with at least a hint of dignity and humanity. You can just tell him that you're not in him or you can even lie about the reason if you want to, but it's in the best interest of both parties if you don't waste his and your time by trying to convince yourself to feel a way that you don't.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I almost always give a guy at least one chance because of something one of the male commenters said: I don't often realize what I'm attracted to. A guy can look dorky in a picture, but if he's funny, confident, and sincere, I don't care what he looks like - I'm almost always attracted to him. Looks are important because you have to be attracted to someone, BUT a lot of times we don't give someone a chance to be attractive to us by knowing their personality. If you don't feel it after a few dates, then that's totally legitimate. But dating tells you what you're attracted to, and we don't often know as well as we think. I've surprised myself in the past haha. Good luck!!

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What Guys Said 24

  • A funny thing about women is that what they think is attractive at first is not what they discover is attractive in the long run.

    Personality can easily overcome looks.

    What you should do is put potential dates into three categories: Definitely, Maybe, and Never.

    Try out the maybes, because you might discover that a guy who can keep you laughing is more attractive than the dumb boring hunk.

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    • " A funny thing about women is that what they think is attractive at first is not what they discover is attractive in the long run."

      Why just women? Why not men too... why aren't you telling men to date women they find unattractive?
      And for another how do you know that- have you lived the lives of many women or are you just advocating on the behalf of men who can't get a date?

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    • And you know this how?

    • @RachelBrigs
      Because I have gone out with over 400 women.

      How many women have you dated?

  • I mean, it kind of is. But you know what's even more rude? Going out with him and leading him on for a few months until he falls for you, but then dumping him because you aren't attracted to him.

    It'd be the right thing to do if you rejected him now and let him move on to find someone who actually does like his appearance.

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    • How is it rude at all? Would YOU go out with a girl you found ugly? No

    • @Jessiebe I didn't mean that its rude as in socially unacceptable. I meant that yeah, he's still gonna be hurt but it'll be better for him in the long run if he gets rejected now rather than dumped later.

  • No, that is understandable (just like it is for us to reject a girl for say, having too much body fat for our tastes or whatever preferences may be). HOWEVER, there is no excuse to be a rude bitch to anyone (not saying you are) and being cold to people. People have feelings and it takes A LOT for a guy to put himself out there for you, so be as kind as you can be in your rejection.

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  • why? you don't know the dude, so how the shit you gonna base it on personality? by this logic, would it be rude to reject the dude if he looked like a disheveled crackhead rapist?

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  • If you do not fancy him, you should say no.
    Dating is not a welfare system for the genetically under equipped.

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  • Naw. Physical attraction required in every relationship. Just like emotional attraction is required too. Everything has to be balanced.

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  • You can reject anyone you don't feel like going out with. Just don't be rude while doing it and it should be fine. ;)

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  • It's only rude if you tell him that's the reason. You shouldn't base your opinion on him just by his appearance but that's another issue. If you just reject him by saying, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested" that's all you need to say.

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  • Why should you be obligated to date someone you aren't attracted to? That is very thoughtful of you though. In the end, it's up in the air, whether or not his personality would out way how you feel now. Assuming it doesn't work, it'll only be harder for him after giving him hope there might be something there.

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  • Its only rude if you reject him rudely. If it is because you don't find him good looking then don't explain (though many if not most would tell a white lie here.)

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  • that's fine. Attraction is a crucial factor in dating/relationships. Nothing wrong with that.

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  • It's fair to reject people for that reason. Like one girl I knew wouldn't date my friend because he's really short and she tried her best to let him down easy.

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  • Sounds like you're burning your bridges without crossing them to me. Looks aren't everything.

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    • Ill set you up with some of my ugly friends then 😉

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    • @Jessiebe Just because you find them ugly doesn't mean that I will. I might think that they are prettier than you.

    • I don't have ugly friends I was just trying me make a point or something

  • There's a fine balance between what you're describing. If this person doesn't take care of their appearance, trendy or not, then itd be safe to assume your interests don't align with his. However if he's just more occupied with other matters and assumes his appearance to be trival, it could be a chance to know someone beyond the scope of their looks.

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  • First of all, why would you date someone if you don't know something as basic as his personality? You can always talk informally but going on a date?
    Secondly, no, i don't think it's rude to reject a guy because of that, unless you make it obvious that's the issue, try to make up something?
    Cheers

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    • For example is is a guy from my university or my work that I don't know so well and he ask me out. it happens a lot and I think maybe i am the problem because i am picky.

    • If you're even slightly interested i think you should give him a chance, even if he's not all looks, guys got a lot more to offer than just looks.
      Just make sure were you're getting into, i mean get to know him a little before you actually go on a date, make sure he's not an asshole :P

  • Who cares if it's rude or not? You don't like him you don't like him. It's your life.

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  • No, you're entitled to your physical preferences. Everyone can chose their partners however they please but I hope you know that looks aren't everything.

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  • NO!

    Only to him but he knew there was a risk in asking cuz she could say yes or no.

    We can't change what we find attractive.

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  • Rude? No. Shallow? Possibly. Superficial? Absolutely.

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  • No, it's not.

    Ofcourse you don't have to tell that to his face, but yes, it's perfectly ok for you to reject someone you're not attracted with.

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  • That's fine, they aren't entitled to date you just cause he's a "nice" guy

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  • It is rude, yes.

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  • Yes. I am ready to feel hurt at one than to get hurt every time incidents remind me I'm ugly.

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  • No; but I've never actually rejected girls that I find unattractive, I've just friendzoned the shit out of them

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What Girls Said 19

  • No, it's not rude. You like who you like. I don't go for looks really. I go for personality. If I didn't find him initially attractive, once I got to know his personality, then I might change my view of him. I would just nicely reject him, but let him know I was open to just hanging out. If I was truly unattracted to him though, then I just would let it go and move on. It's only rude if you are rude about it when rejecting them.

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  • I normally try to say yes to a date even if I'm not attracted. The main reason is sometimes after I've talked to them for a while I can find them more attractive. But sometimes I know that's not the case and you don't need to feel bad about that.

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  • Nope! Its your life your allow to decide who comes in!

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  • Well some sort of attraction is necessary so if you don't have any towards him then yup can't force it.

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  • No of course not, unless you yell at him" I won't date you, you ugly piece of shit"

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  • No if that is what you feel.

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  • You are doing him a favor instead of stringing him along. If you aren't into him for whatever the hell your reason is.. you are free to make your own choices.

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  • Not at all. You should date someone you're attracted to. Don't feel obligated.

    But, why go on a date with someone you know nothing about in the first place?

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  • No, not rude.

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  • You don't have to date anyone unless you want to.

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  • kind of... i mean u didn't even give him a chance to show whats inside of him. he might be bright, nice, kind, had charisma and really catch your attention... many times brad pitt loking guys are boring and annoying

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  • I don't think so. If you are not attracted to him who can blame you for rejecting as long as you do it nicely without hurting his feelings.

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  • wtf? are people not allowed to follow their sense of attraction?

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  • No, it's not. There has to be some physical attraction.

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  • Nope, if you don't like... you don't like.

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  • I would do the same tbh lol..

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  • Yes it is rude

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  • No, what's rude it's to leading him on and give him hope when your don't interested in him. Just tell him he's not your type simple

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  • No, that is not rude.

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