Would you date someone who used to be a different gender?

This question was inspired by a question that someone else asked..
http://www.girlsaskguys.com/dating/q1943622-would-you-date-someone-who-is-transgender
and i asked "isnt there surgery for that?"
i mean, lets say you meet someone, and it seems like they have all the right parts, then you find out that they used to be a different gender and had surgery, would you still date them or become intimate with them?
Looking forward to hearing your answers.

Updates:
Like i said, this person treated you right, they made you happy and you THOUGHT it was just like a regular thing, then you found out they used to be your gender. Im actually amazed at the number of people saying "NO" right off the bat... the same people who say that they are looking for good relationships... This person was a good relationship... they just happened to be your gender AT FIRST. You would destroy an amazing relationship over some crappy principle? Guess you don't want one then
For anyone else answering after this point, what i forgot to mention was that you were ALREADY dating this person, then you found out... i don't know how.. ran into an old friend, saw an old pic, saw the surgery bill... etc.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. If I liked them for who they are, then their parts wouldn't make much of a difference.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i would hang out with a girl who has a penis., i dont give a fuck lol.

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    • lol... hanging out is one thing... what about the other thing... :)

    • I actually would go out on a date with a girl with a dick, just to say I did lol. its not a big difference to me because when I date it's just like hanging out, we're only getting to know each other, thats all.

    • I know you was crazy lol... thats my line... "just to say i did"...
      but no... this girl doesn't have a dick... you didn't know anything about her, you thought she was a biological woman and y'all started dating, had sex and All that... then you find out... she's all surgical... and used to be a guy.

What Girls Said 37

  • no i would not.
    the problem wouldn't even be that they were a different gender. the problem would be that they lied to me.

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    • How would they be lying to you?

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    • Hahaha this is hilarious. The Former player he says had girls left and right, sure it wasn't your imagination? One of the definitions of a player is that they do have issues relating to women and are insecure so they overcompensate by having multiple active relationships. The fact you think women still find a way to be mad about everything suggests to me that you don't actually have a relationship. If you're in a secure relationship no one would be walking on eggshells. This is why you haven't had a single relationship problem bc you haven't had an actual relationship for a while.

    • @Luv2BRealExotic13 define "actual"... you mean that bullshit that Women define? i mean... i have had relationships... just not that "societal norm" relationship.
      Just because im not conforming to that nonsense you subscribe to doesn't make me wrong. you are listening to some crap you have been told... i blaze my own trail baby.
      we all have relationships... i just define mine... while you chase some shit you have been told...
      see ya.

  • i am pansexual~ the "hearts, not parts"-est on the spectrum of human sexuality. ergo i don't choose my partners based on gender and would still date a trans person if she or he possessed the qualities i look for in a partner. but let's look past the gender thing for a minute and focus on what's more important in this scenario.

    trust is essential to any relationship, and lying is a surefire way to violate that. i'd rather if the person was honest with me upfront because i can't stay in a relationship with someone i don't trust.

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  • I feel like despite a sex change and the proper surgery, a woman turned man would still be too feminine of a man for me. I like really manly men, so I don't know that I would even be attracted to them from the get go even without knowing.

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  • No, I don't want to date someone who used to be a woman. And I especially don't want to date someone who lies by omission about something that big for that long.

    I have nothing against transgender people (either pre or post op) but I don't want to date one.

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    • how did they lie... they didn't say anything... i believe lying to be falsifying information already stated... they didn't say anything. you mean disclosure.

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    • you'll be alright.

    • There wasn't anything wrong in the first place so of course.

  • I don't think I could. I fully embrace that everyone deserves to feel beautiful in their own skin however that physically manifests and I am open to friendships with people of all shapes and sizes. but I can usually tell if someone has transitioned (or is transitioning) and don't know if my mind could get past it, personally. I'm into a certain type of men, I like a certain body type, body hair, smell, mannerism, deep voice... I guess really if a person had all of the qualities I liked about men then maybe it could work.

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  • I'm bisexual. (I don't like labelling myself as Pan) and yeah I totally would date someone who's trans. I'd hope they'd be honest and tell me about their past if they wanted to and trusted me but if they didn't I would understand. It's about who someone is right now, not who they used to be.

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    • oooh nice... plus they make you happy too.

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    • as long as you get it and its awesome right?

    • Sex is important but the person is the most important. If they're the right person that's all that matters.

  • Yeah, I have no problem with it.

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    • never know... you might.

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    • I'm bi anyway, all parts are the 'necessary' parts :P

    • dang girl... wats ur number lol...

  • a trans? sure, I would

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    • hahahah... freaky... me like.

    • if you think about it it's not that freaky... this people were born in the wrong body and are doing anything to be happy with themselves... I mean, don't girls with small breasts get surgery to get bigger ones?

      this people don't have the genitals that they would desire to have and in order to change that, they do all kinds of shit to achieve their goal.

      people can say whatever they want about trans, but I admire them for achieving such a difficult goal.

    • i admire the doctors lol... i mean... only thing i admire in them is taking the risk... but thats a continuous risk... thats too much..

  • So they have a mental illness called gender dysphora and I think just because they got their boobs cut off they are a man. That not only makes me completely disregard science ans basic facts of life but I'm mentally ill to when I know It's woman but I delude myself to think it's a man. Trans men always look like men , transgender women need to have tons and tons of plastic surgery. either way your still a chick, I don't care I'm not dating you. And you can act as masculine as you want your still going to have for female ways come through. and I've known many transwomen and they just act like flaming gays, and they have people's after transition on how to act female. Done support the it.

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    • hmm... toughy... i have met (not known) met some transgender women that fooled me... if it wasn't for apt instinct, i would have... well... done the same thing i do with natural women... some make it, some don't. and as for the transgender females, i just don't get that. For that side of things, the hormones keep flowing, the male hormones... and at some point, it WILL come out.

  • Nooo way, I would rathee die single than to be with a transgender tbh..

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    • Really? i thought girls would be more flexible to the thought... i mean, i can understand the guy perspective, but really?

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    • @dreadpirate I don't know man haha I just want a regular mate with a natural penis and real testicles who can produce sperm cells and make me have babies naturally

    • ok, you have a good point.

  • No, thanks. Let the transgenders date the transgenders.

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    • well... thats a bit insulting... they are people too and deserve happiness and so do you. thats segregation.

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    • well... like i told someone else on here... thats a deep secret... and these people are already oppressed, i mean gay people are already oppressed and didn't change genders... these people did so can you imagine how reserved they would be?
      on the flip side, it would be nice to know ahead of time... nice to know if someone who has acted like they like/love you, will ditch you over some nonsense that happened in the past.

    • I don't personally think completely switching your sex is "nonsense," but okay.

  • I've been friends with trans people in my teens, the transwomen needed to get 20+ plus of cosmetic surgery to look female. And the fact that one would go to such lengths to alter the way they where born isn't mentally haelthy. the answer is no I would not date them. Their feelings aren't validated by science. Noone is born in the wrong body. Id rather date a transwoman than transman, Im not attracted to female pheromones as long as you have XX chromosomes no amount hormones will keep your putuitary glands from producing female pheromones same with transmwomen they can shove it inside out and their glands will still produce male pheromones.

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    • Thats what i said... the drugs can only do so much. good opinion.

  • No. I have a couple of friends who are Transgender and I love them to pieces, but I couldn't date one.

    I think it's because I like really dominant, manly, alpha males so I couldn't be attracted to someone who used to be female.

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  • Not a chance. And I'd be soooooo pissed that they lied about it.

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    • but they didn't say anything, can't lie when you didn't say anything...

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    • I don't have a secret that big lol

    • I do ;)
      sorry, i saw my shot at making a dirty reference, i took it... im crazy like that.
      ok back to seriousness... glad you know im right... the poor transgender is already trying so hard to fit in and not be judged, it would be hard to say that early... hell... gay people aren't even transformed and have a hard time.

  • No. No offence to anyone, but, yuck.

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  • No, they were still someone's sister daughter or niece.

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  • Yes sure no problem I have no problem dating a woman that turned into a guy.*shrug*

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    • bet you like open relationships as well... threesomes and the like

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    • I've heard that story before... one side gets the short end of the stick.. and they get jealous...
      either the guy flirts/with way more people than the girl or vice versa... the person with less gets jealous...
      i found a middle ground for that.
      (oh... just for fun, what video game console?)

    • I play ps4 and xBox one.

  • If this was for a medical condition yes I would but if this was for some desires no sorry I won't I'll feel so sick..

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  • I would. I like them for them, their personality, how they make me feel, etc. I might be a little weirded out at first but it wouldn't make me run away.

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    • we all would be, but your first statement, states the truth... still that nagging feeling though lol

  • I would and currently am. Infact we are both transgender.

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  • Yes, I would. Gender is just a menial part of what attracts me to a person. I would rather look at personality and who they are than what parts they have. It's about the heart

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    • I'd say you are full of bull but thats just me cuz i dumped my heart elsewhere... i do get you though, its about how you feel and how they make you feel. good opinion.

  • No, that's really uncomfortable to me. I couldn't do it.

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    • you just don't like that naggy feeling in your mind knowing that they used to be your gender... you'd like the parts though

  • I would. Maybe it's because of my bisexuality, but I don't understand why anyone would care.

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  • No, not a chance.

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  • No way!!

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    • well... just outright? they made you happy till you found out...

  • I wouldn't.

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  • Depends on the person

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  • No, I wouldn't.

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    • what if you were dating them already then found out later?

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    • you are very right... unless that straight person is open minded. i mean i wrote down somewhere here that if she made me happy and didn't do the "normal" womanly shit... like taking offense to simple shit and starting fights over nothing and letting me be a dude or assisting with it like building a little man-cave or something... then i found out that she Used to be a man... i'd have some thinking to do while.. like you said... I "wrap my head around it"...
      im guessing i'd keep on. i mean... it was fine before i knew and she made me happy and crap, im not leaving that for some hormonal, nagging, whatever the hell it is that many women tend do. hell no. happiness first lol... work out the details later.

    • That's fair enough.

  • No. I want a guy only. Not a guy who was once a woman.

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    • they could be manly too...

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    • And it has nothing to do with me " destroying something over a crappy principal. I like MEN. A man who was once a woman can not give me a baby. Could we be friends? Sure. But I do not want to be with anyone who was once a female. I just don't.

  • If you have fell for them why does it matter

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    • some... i mean, a lot of people seem to think so... principle maybe

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What Guys Said 44

  • Nope. Even ignoring the fact they lied to me about something big like that, being biologically female is a must for me in terms of wants. It'd be a dealbreaker if they weren't biologically female.

    For one thing, while there is surgery, it is basically removing the penis, taking the nerve endings, and making a "vagina" from it. However, that doesn't change the fact they are still a male.

    They may identify as female, and I'll respect their wishes to want to be identified as such, but they can't change their bioligical composition.

    It is basically a deal breaker and therefore auto friend zoner.

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    • but they didn't lie... they just didn't tell you, and you found out.

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    • So, you are basically saying the emotional and physical connection was there, but then the person told you the truth?

      The emotional connection may still be there, but knowing the truth just destroys the physical connection for me. Since a relationship is emotional and physical, it wouldn't work for me.

      I would be attracted to the female aspects of the person. Upon learning that the person was indeed a biological male, the female aspects and image of that would be shattered, and it would be a male.

      It'd be like a mask pulled off that revealed the truth. I'd be attracted to the mask, but not the truth. With the truth revealed, I would lose attraction... and the mask I was attracted to wouldn't be able to be put back on again. The biological gender can't change, only the gender identification and the looks.
      I accept trans people as friends. I'll accept their beliefs even-- I'll call them whatever gender they identify as.

    • so basically, like everyone... it would just be at the back of your head/mind, and bother you...

  • No I couldn't. I want a woman, that was born with a woman's body.

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    • we all do... but you were dating this one... then you found out LATER that she used to be a man

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    • That's why it is important for a transgender person to make it known early about them being such.

    • in a way... just so they can know if they can be fully accepted.
      i mean, i tell girls all the time, ahead of time, i can be and will be a douchebag... so eventually when i AM a douchebag, they can't say they didn't get the memo lol

  • No, I wouldn't be able to get over the fact the used to have a dick. Even if visually they kinda look like a girl Im not sure it would feel the same or taste the same when going down on them. All they have is a surgically inverted penis. Also I think they need to do all this extra stuff to keep things lubricated and prevent infection.

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  • I wouldn't, there's no such thing as used to be a different gender. Even if you get a surgery, you will always be the gender you were born, you can't completely change yourself and the change isn't natural. A man will never be able to fully be a woman and a woman will never be able to fully be a man.

    So, I just date women who were born women.

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    • principled man... i think it'd be funny if you were born a man but felt like a woman and wanted changes, put yourself in their shoes.

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    • I believe I wouldn't be able to continue and this is a fact that one can't hide from people when dating.

    • agreed, but im still in the air as still if i would want to know that or not.

  • No, since I'm not gay and I have no desire to date mentally ill people.

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    • what makes you think they are mentally ill...

    • Both the World Health Organization and the American Psychiatric Association recognize transgenderism as a psychological disorder under the name Gender Dysphoria and/or Gender Identity Disorder, as of their most recent disease classifications.
      It is not what I think, it is what the most important health organizations think.

    • eh.. screw those organizations...

  • I have no problem with transgender people but I wouldn't date them either.

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    • same here... but the question is what IF they had surgery... and they have like the real parts.. you know, the girls get a teflon dick and the guys get their dick reversed and crap... would you.

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    • you could feel like shit but still stay...
      still didn't answer... would you leave?

    • "still didn't answer... would you leave?"

      Would have what exactly? Ask a coherent question first and then I'll answer as best I can. Stop putting those periods between words.

  • Jerry Springer once had a *totally* convincing transgendered (but presurgical) M2F that confessed to her fiance weeks before the wedding. She was so convincing that the producer had to check. Other than that, they fool no one.

    Even after the surgery, I guarantee they don't *taste* right (Just the thought, ick).

    Also see my MyTake about transexuals.

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  • I respect and treat all Lgbt people equally, but wouldn't date and transgender person, just based on my interests

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  • No way! If a man chops of his dick, gets fake breast and lazers away his beard, it is still a man! Once a man, always a man, same with women. Conchita Wurst and Caitlyn Jenner are men and doing the above stages will never change who they are. That's just disgusting... o. O. Guess what? Erik Sprague (A. k. a. The Lizzardman) is not a real lizzard :O. Isn't that a surprise? He is a MAN trying to look like a lizzard.

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    • you know a man has successfully carried and given birth right?

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    • oooh nice... maybe when i don't have a set or sets of natural tits to play with, i'll look into that.

  • Absolutely not. A man will always be a man and a woman will always be a woman regardless of what they do with their bodies. They can call themselves what they want, but their DNA does not change.

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    • neither does their hormones or chemicals... or whatever... lol

  • It's possible, I wouldn't care if they have a penis honestly. I guess I am bisexual. Nothing against them, but honestly most trans people are just unattractive to me and it has nothing to do with their genitals, it's the whole package. If they were exceptionally cute and mentally healthy (i. e. not obsessed over being a victim because they are trans) then sure.

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    • Also maybe it's not fair since I am in fact bisexual but I'm about 10 times more likely to be attracted to women than men so there's that.

    • well.. go dude.

  • No, because based on what I believe, you can't really change genders/sex. A born man will always be a man, and a born woman will always be a woman.

    So rephrasing the question, will I date a man who altered his body to resemble that of a woman's?

    No.

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  • I would only date someone with biologically defined functional genitalia. And that sexual organs must be vagina/vulva/ovaries.

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    • hahahaha... do you have biologically defined penis/urethra/testicles/semen?

      i know the answer... im just fucking with you as always Meson...

    • yes I do, actually :P

    • doesn't mean im not gonna fuck with you lol... you know how we do... get a jab in when we can, saw my shot... took it :)

  • That's out of the question

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  • No way in hell. If you're born a guy, you're a guy.

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  • Never going to happen.

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    • right off the bat eh

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    • I'm open to pretty much most things, race and culture just never transgenderism and stuff similar or close to it, even before I became a Christian the idea of it always disturbed me. So it's not bred strictly from religious beliefs, anyway that aside.

      Yes I agree it would make one interesting story but it's not one I will ever tell, it's just not me or who I am to get involved in that kind of stuff or people, and I can't go along with something I know is wrong and unnatural. Besides I'm stubborn in my old fashioned ways.

      Also I'd much rather tell me grandchildren that I never compromised my values, morals, principles or beliefs to get to were I am, plus I have quite a few funny stories lol.

    • Another main reason is DNA at the end of the day no amount of surgery and mutilation can erase the fact that on the DNA/cellular level they are a man and always will be nothing will change that. And would it really stop at that anyway? if we ever gain the technology to change our very own DNA would it really be worth it to them to mess with the very thing the very fibers that make them human?

      You can put a monkey in a human suit train it to act human but at the end of the day it's still a monkey.

      The same thing applies to transgenders living their lives in suits trying to be something they are not. Neither male or female on the outside not truly living in the in-between of male and female not truly belonging to either. It's a sad existence.

  • ... no, sorry brah

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  • Let's see. If there are two girls in front of me and both of them like me. One is a normal girl and the other one is a transgender girl. I will choose the hotter one.

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    • which would probably be the transgendered girl... you'll be alright. you do know that transgendered people tend to try a lot harder to fit into their gender? you'd most likely pick the trans one... :) just saying. since you see face value only. You'll be alright... they are good peeps..
      good opinion

  • I don't have a problem with a transgender person but I would not date one.

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  • Sorry. I don't think so.

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    • bet you are a homophobe too?

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    • That's a good question. Don't know.

    • ignorance is always bliss my friend... i mean... im still up in the air about it. i don't know if i wanna know, especially if the relationship is awesome... or if i want to know so i know what im dealing with... i think i would pick option A

  • No, never.

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  • I wouldn't mind if I thought she was cool.

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    • thats my point, like they made you happy and all, then you found out they were male... pre-surg.

  • If they didn't tell me upfront, it becomes an instant and immediate dealbreaker

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    • yow... so one of those huh, just give up a good thing because of one thing... well.. everyone is entitled to theirs. but when you have been in as many relationships with natural women as I have... this will get ya thinking.
      i mean... seemed natural enough to fool you, you were hella happy... and then pow... used to be a guy... you'd just walk away huh... how many relationships have you walked away from... with natural women.. even after they "hurt" you...

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    • But keeping that choice a secret makes rejection damn near a certainty, and it increases the longer the relationship goes on because that's more trust put into question.

      An STD is different because it literally puts their well-being at stake, plus an STD is something you'd have to come forward with before getting intimate so you know your limits to protect yourself. It doesn't have to be upfront. Just before getting in a situation where it could possibly spread

      Looking at your latest update, it'd be even worse since I didn't find out from them. It's like finding out your SO got their tubes tied/balls snipped from the bill. If they can't communicate, ESPECIALLY if we've been going at it LTR, it's over

    • damn man... are you sure you are 18... i can't get anywhere lol.

  • Nope. Absolutely not.

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  • No such thing as "used to be a different gender".

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  • No, I wouldn't.

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    • you wouldn't even think about it?

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    • oh no mate... this is you, this is YOUR opinion... i am in no way offended sir. i just feel like people talk the talk... mind you, you were already dating this person and the feelings were real and she had parts that were real enough and a good personality... and she treated you good.. like a man should be treated, let you have your space, even built you a man-cave for your birthday and crap and you throw all that away, just because of the PAST?
      i understand if it will bother you, it would bother anyone, but you'd throw all that away and go to a life of nagging, constant calls, jealousy, more nagging?

    • You're mistaking me for someone who over-values relationships, and because of that would endure abusive/shitty relationships, or relationships I don't have to tolerate. How good of a partner she was would be irrelevant; She withheld very crucial information.

      To be fair, I would be more likely to consider it if she didn't lie about it. But the fact she lied like that would be a deal breaker in itself.

  • Yes. Gender.
    No. Sex.

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  • You can't change genders. No I wouldn't date a trannie.

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    • but they had surgery and got new parts and they treated you well and you were happy

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    • so you'd throw away a good thing, just because of what happened BEFORE?

    • There's nothing good that can come from a homosexual relationship for a straight man. If you want to be in a relationship with a trannie nothing is stopping you. It's just not my thing.

  • I mostly care about how a partner whould be in the present. Rather think who she/ he was in the past.

    I am bisexual too, so i don't really care what gender as long that person is trustable and not selfish.

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    • you know, im not really sure guys can be bi-sexual, i mean... depending on the position... giving? fine... receiving? well...

  • I would not.

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    • well.. you already hate the site.. im not surprised you hate this too...

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