Should a 35 year old virgin lie about being a virgin? Is being a virgin at that age too much of a turnoff?

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Would women assume that there's something wrong with me?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No I dont think so. I am 25 and a virgin , its rare to find guys at this age and are virgin... wow. The right woman will appreciate and love you for you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should find a caring woman. There are women who like to devirginize men.. I know that's hard to imagine but women have different opinions on virgin guys... A 8 or 9 inch penis will be too much for some women.. A well endowed guy has to be really careful when he is having sex.. I wouldn't lie about being a Virgin if I were you... I would find a woman willing to accept that as part of my personality.. Women don't see the upside of being a guys first... A Virgin man does not have any stds nor any bad habits... He is usually more open to suggestions.. He can be molded into HER perfect lover.. You can introduce a man to the most exquisite pleasure imaginable.. He is sharing a moment with you no one else will have... He will not forget you... Take your time and date a woman who will respect you.. Then just let life happen.

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    • If I was 8 or 9 inches, I wouldn't be a virgin.

    • Oh that tells me you have a confidence problem.. I will let you in on a little secret... All women aren't the same.. I had sex with a woman who could only take six inches.. All women do not have the dept for an endowed man.. Some women are to small for a 6 inches (circumference) in girth.

    • I'm four inches long, four inches around, 1.25" wide. Too small even for snug condoms. I'd say that warrants a confidence problem.

What Girls Said 29

  • I don't think you should lie about it if she's asked, but there's no reason you have to share that with her if you don't want to otherwise. I would find it strange that you are a virgin but I wouldn't be turned off. Sex isn't very complicated so I'd trust that you would get the hang of it pretty quickly.. Haha. As for feeling insecure about your penis size, I don't think this should hold you back. 4" is big enough for a woman to be able to enjoy herself. Choosing the right positions would help with that as well. That being said, if you do let the woman know ahead of time that you are a virgin, she may be more patient and understanding than she would be if she thinks that you've had years of experience ( if the first time isn't so great for her). It's something to think about.

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  • Don't lie about it, it'll just end badly. I'd be like "are you sure you've done this before?"
    Let me put it this way, let's say personally I were to have sex with you. And you were bad. If you weren't a virgin I'd think "damn, I feel sorry for the other girls he's been with". But if you were a virgin, I'd be like "ok, we can work on this. No one is an expert their first try."
    So while being a virgin isn't ideal, being bad or selfish in bed is worse (if you are experienced, or in your case lead a woman to believe you're experienced).

    I'm not going to lie, at any age, you could be 24 and a virgin or the 40yr old virgin, yes it's a turn off. Why? Because I personally love good sex. And I can't imagine anyone being a sex god/goddess their first time. But it's not an automatic deal-breaker, just something I try to avoid. Because I'm a slut who loves sex, good sex. Quality>quantity.

    No, I'm not going to think something is wrong with you, unless you exhibit other "abnormal" behaviors.

    Also DON'T PAY TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY. That WOULD be an automatic dealbreaker. For me at least.

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  • Never lie about stuff like that. You'll always come unstuck. It's best to be honest about it. If she has a problem with it? She's not the woman for you.

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    • It's not easy to find a woman who will stick around when she finds out I'm a virgin with a small penis...

    • Have you had problems with being rejected or is your fear of rejection holding you back? There are lots of women who are still virgins at your age and penis size is totally subjective.

  • no he shouldn't lie. no it's not a turn off.

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  • nooo don't lie !! date me :) no I think its sweet I wish I can some day meet a guy who doesn't fuck everything tht has a vagina lol

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  • You should never base a relationship on a lie. Unless you want it to fail. Besides she's going to immediately know you lied the first time you have sex ir she's going to assume you just realky suck at it which is worse. Best to be honest and open about it. For me it raises questions of why is he still a virgin but it isn't a turn off.

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    • Basically, I have a four inch penis, and that has stopped me from having any intimate relationships.

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    • Should I save up for enlargement surgery?

    • No way dude! Plenty of guys have smaller penises. You can definitely get the job done if you're willing to work at it.

  • There shouldn't be a problem with that. That is nothing to be ashamed of. You must have had your reasons. You shouldn't have to do anythig that you're not comfortable with just because society says that losing your virginity is something you should get it over with. Society is more often than not wrong.

    But I'd keep it to myself until I knew I was with someone I could trust.

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    • Some days I just feel like giving up on relationships. I'm in the process of ending a long term relationship with a virgin woman who was older than me (we just weren't compatible), and I'm not sure what I want to do now. My chances of finding a virgin at my age who isn't devoutly religious is pretty slim.

      I'm not sure if I want to wait for marriage, but I do want a deep relationship.

      I asked the question because of what I saw on OKCupid, and question responses from people my age about virginity.

    • I have another question now... I know that the chances of finding a virgin woman of your age are slim, if you don't want to date a religious woman, but does it have to be a virgin woman for you?

      I think that a sensible woman, virgin or non-virgin, that likes you will accept you for who you are. How has it been in the dating game for you? Have you tried going for non-virgins?

    • I'm okay with a non virgin woman as long as she wasn't promiscuous (IE having casual sex), and as long as she doesn't judge me for not being well endowed.

  • Dude being a virgin isn't the equivalent of being a serial killer lol

    I would like it because i'm that way as well. There could be a number of reasons for it and of course I would be curious to know but as long as he didn't have bodies in his basement then it can't be that big of a deal.

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  • Find a nice Mormon girl to settle down with. They're into that.

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    • I tried dating a religious woman. It ultimately didn't work out because I just can't suspend reason and live on faith.

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    • Too bad.

    • So I guess I should give up, then... unless I save up for surgery.

  • Honestly, why would someone even ask that question... Every woman is going to just assume that you're not a virgin. And even if the first time ends kind of badly, you can just say that it was streak of bad luck...

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    • Yeah every girl I've had sex with never asked if I'm a virgin, how many partners, etc. What they do ask is if I'm clean and have a condom. And those are actually reasonable.

      Asking someone if they're a virgin is like asking someone how many people they slept with.

  • Send me a message and I'll tell you something that might help if you're into trying new things.

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  • I would be tempted to lie but would not choose to do that because it takes a mature, respectful, and patient person to be okay with that and you want to find that guy, right? Then you have to be honest. Also, if he is ready to have sex and you do not tell him you are a virgin it will not end well. He will assume you have done it before and may go really rough and that is not good for you.

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    • I'm a guy...

    • Oh okay well same thing applies except for the last part. But once again, your partner will assume you have done it before and she will expect more from you than you know how to do. It is better to tell her so she can help you along.

  • If I were single I'd prefer to go with the 35 yr. old virgin then hear about another god damn teen mom/dad, or someone fucking up too early in their 20's.

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  • No, lying about it would be the worst thing to do. It is not a turn off. Besides, the inexperience would more than likely be noticeable. Just be yourself. Nothing is wrong with being a virgin.

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    • Even at 35?

    • What about having a four inch penis and being a virgin? Hopeless?

    • Even at 35. It is definitely fine. Now, the size depends on the woman's preference. I however lost my virginity to a a guy who wasn't endowed. It still felt good. Nothing is wrong with that. Its not a hopeless situation. I wouldn't have minded.

  • My aunt lost her virginity at the age of 44, she got married just a few months ago and she kept it for religious purposes. I guess it's just a personal choice and if someone judges you for it then they're not worth your time anyway..

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  • No there's nothing wrong with it

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  • Nah, I would think it was sweet. It would mean that he was saving himself for someone for a long time and chose me over everyone else.

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  • Nobody should lie about being a virgin.

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  • if he's not attractive. i'd assume somethings wrong with him

    if he's attractive. i'd assume he's just waiting for the right one and that's pretty sweet.

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  • why haventt you had sex yet?

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    • I have a four inch penis.

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    • I'm not into humiliation.

    • its not that bad, i mean yeah the sizes get over exaggerated in porn and some men really are bigger, but a dick is still a dick aha if you know how to work it, you have nothing to worry about. your already 35, its time.

  • uh yeah.

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  • i would... any helathy normal man has a girlfriend or had a girlfriend at that age...

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    • Having a girlfriend doesn't automatically equal having sex. I've had a long term relationship.

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    • We kissed and cuddled. It was NOT just a friendship.

    • ok.. to everybody its own..

  • Erm yea cuz we know u can't get laid just the truth...

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  • As long as you're a nice guy I wouldn't care.

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  • 35, for anyone is very old. no offense.

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    • How many women would be okay with that? Should I just look for a sex therapy surrogate to learn intimacy and sex?

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    • lol, most guys aren't 8 or 9. Trust me. You good with 5.5

    • I'm four inches, not 5.5...

      I hate my life.

  • It's a turn off for most of the girls, but maybe you'll get lucky eventually... there are some older guys than you, who are still virgins

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    • So how am I supposed to find a relationship?

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    • Online dating is a waste of time. 99.99999% of the women are there for an ego boost.

    • Yeah, maybe you are right, but still... there is hope.

  • I'm a virgin still and I am 29. I'd take the 35-year-old virgin. At least we could be inexperienced together. The thing with me is, most people call me wild because I am hyper and I speed walk everywhere. I've heard men say that I am probably really good in bed because I am probably wild. Meanwhile, they'd find out pretty quickly that I am the opposite. Also, people don't look down on women as much for being virgins when they're older, but I do know plenty of people who do.

    No one knows I am still a virgin, but I've heard people over critical about them. Including my own family. Last weekend, my mom was going on about how pathetic virgins are, and what man would want some clingy over emotional girl over my sister. Apparently some guy picked a virgin girl over my sister. So I had to sit there and listen to my mom and sister bash pathetic little virgin girls, and I didn't want to speak up. I know my mom probably wouldn't talk that way if she knew I was still a virgin, but it's still something I didn't want to admit.

    It's a shame that so many older virgins are afraid to admit to being one. I am no way ashamed of being a virgin, but I am worried about how people would react to it. There is a guy right now that I like a lot, and he's extremely flirtatious with me, but he might not like me for much longer if he knew the truth.

    I wish I could find someone like you.

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  • Nah. It's not a turn off and you shouldn't lie about it either... Jeez... what's up with people these days? It's not like you have a highly contagious disease and need to hide it!

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  • So I've read the comments and your replies. Let me be upfront, yes it does sound strange, but if you find someone you're comfortable with just tell them and the reason why, that you are very self conscious about your size. Any loving, kind woman will accept you and most likely won't mind when you've explained everything. Big isn't always best, trust me.

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What Guys Said 30

  • I've come across too many older virgin men with a humble brag thing going on. While it's not something to be ashamed of, it''s not something to be proud of either, particularly if you are using it to drive people away who don't respect your virginity as some sort of proof that nobody appreciates a man with principles.

    Don't volunteer it if it doesn't come up.

    As for your question, in a Rutgers University-Match. com survey in 2013, 51 percent of single women (and 33 percent of single men) said they would not date a virgin. For one who is 35 or over, there is almost certainly even less willingness among women to be accommodating.

    match.mediaroom.com/2013-02-05-Singles-in-America-Match-com-Releases-Third-Annual-Comprehensive-Study-on-the-Single-Population

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  • Being a virgin is unusual but it does not reflect adversely upon your character. Being a liar is something that you can never justify. End of discussion.

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  • No. Our society needs, absolutely NEEDS to get over this notion that being a virgin at ANY age is wrong, weird, immature... anything like that. Is it unusual? In today's day and age, yes, but that does NOT mean weird or wrong.

    People, can we please stop this? Please?

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  • After reading all the replies I say, don't lie, but don't ask don't tell. All these woman that say be honest and it wouldn't be a turn off... I almost guarantee if it were them in that situation they wouldn't be saying that. I agree with the guys that say most women will assume something is wrong with you or that you will be clingy and run. Not all, but most I think.

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  • Yikes that is a hard one. Women are a bit more forgiving them men. If you were a woman I would have red flags all over that.
    I wouldn't start a relationship off on a lie.
    but I wouldn't offer up that information either.
    there is no reason to talk about past relationships. Esp at your age.
    so stay clear

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  • 35 year old virgin is not a bad thing but letme tell u...
    dont tell this to her... becoz she will see u as a weak dude who did not had the balls to fuck a girl till now...
    dont ever mention it...

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  • When it comes to sexual history, don't ask, don't tell. Period.

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  • Girls lie about their pasts all the time, they just exagerate their sexual histories in the opposite direction.

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  • Look at it this way - if you lie just once in order to get laid, you will never have to lie again.

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  • Yeah don't admit that, if they ask a number, 2 is always a safe bet, the prude and the whores alike will appreciate that number enough.

    If you're in a relationship, don't lie. If you're looking for one night stand or friends with benefits 2 is your good bet.

    If they ask about it, do not make either girl that great, it's easier on the subconscious mind to lie about mediocre feats than it is to lie about feats you yourself wouldn't believe if someone told you.

    The only important thing to remember is the name and age of both you and the chicks Keep these ingrained in your mind and you won't get caught out unless the chick is very nosy and intelligent.

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  • That's a huge turn off for girls, but lying about it is just as bad of a turn off as being a virgin. And girls will know that you're a virgin due to your inexperience.

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  • just tell them that you haven't had sex in awhile, and you're nervous. but it depends on the person. Some maybe neutral and not care about you being a virgin in the slightest

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  • Yes, if you're still a virgin at 35 girls will assume there must be something wrong with you. I would claim to be divorced.

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  • Yo do you have wizard powers yet? I heard after you pass 30 years old as a virgin you become a wizard

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    • I got bored with being a wizard. I'm a level 70 crusader now.

    • 😂 Best response

  • Seriously Bruh? Are you religious? Just curious

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    • I have a small penis.

  • Hold it off for 5 more years and become a 40 year old virgin.
    In all seriousness why wait this long? Hit up the local brothel and get your tip wet if you can't get any.

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  • Dude you got to find a wife or just bang a woman off of tinder.
    I would be weirded out if even a hot 35 year old woman wanted to have sex with me and she said she was a virgin.

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    • I'm pretty sure women on tinder don't want a guy with a four inch penis.

    • I think that would be more of a turn off than the virginity part lol

  • Nobody should lie about being a virgin, regardless of age.

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  • At that age no one really cares. Anyone who does is too immature to have sex with anyhow.

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  • Yes. Just say you are rusty before you get into it. No-one want's to hear that the guy is virgin.

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  • There IS something wrong with you. Time for a trip to Parumph.

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    • What?

    • What? What what. WTF. What is wrong or what is Parumph? Seriously, I would pay for sex FOR you. Get some pussy time with a pro and then maybe you'll be in a better place to date for real. The girls in your dating pool are not likely to want a noobie. They want someone that knows what they're doing.

  • I sure most girls will find it adorable.

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  • It is impossible, How one can live at leas one year without sex

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    • Rather easy, actually. It's lonely, though.

  • I wouldn't volunteer that information because it's unnecessary. I mean are girls gonna just go ahead and reveal their actual number of sex partners?

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  • Sorry dude... but I believe being a virgin at dat age's an OPTION... in all those years ya could get a hooker... ya just CHOSE to be a virgin...

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  • i thought these happened only in movies. well a slut would give you shit or gay shame you or whatever. a good person wouldn't i guess... .

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  • Don't tell her you are a virgin until after you have sex. First of all, your sexual past isn't her business, and secondly a lot of women do freak out over it, because they worry the guy will get clingy, or that there must be something wrong with him, if no other woman was willing to have sex with him by now.

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  • Just don't bring it up. The people who are sayin be honest have no idea what they're talking about no matter what don't tell them you're a virgin. Don't lie though if you can. Just try not to let the subject come up before having sex.

    People who reveal they're a virgin are people who will continue to remain a virgin.

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  • Most women will automatically think you're a loser or something's wrong with you if your a virgin at that age. I no first hand

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  • There probly is something wrong with you if no girl has wanted to have sex with you. It is a turn off for women, no matter what they say.
    Try getting with a less attractive woman, just to gain some experience. Then when you are able to have sex with a woman you actually want, it won't go so bad because you've done it before.

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    • No one rejected me. I've had a few dates and one long relationship that almost led to marriage.

    • Oh, so you're a virgin by choice? Ok, I would suggest stop being a virgin. Go have sex.

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