Is it the worst thing ever to be a shy girl or what... ?

I'm a really shy girl, and I really feel that it's the worst thing ever. I'm attractive, I know that guys like me, but beause I'm shy I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 23 now. I really don't feel like I'll ever have one. I feel that outgoing and extroverted guys can feel that I am shy, and sometimes that makes them feel uncomfortable. Plus I think they would much rather be with a similar extroverted, talkative girl. Shy guys never make a move either, and they just end up with an extremely out going girl who throws herself on him even if he's not really into her.

I'm also quite anti social. I'm in at a place in my life where I just feel really alone. I wish I wasn't like this but I don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all well done for posting. This is one of those fantastic reasons GAG can be so amazing. Just so someone like yourself can have a voice.
    Due to your personal make up this only adds to your feeling of being introvert. In your head you see yourself much worse than it actually is that's human nature. What's worse is women tend to take it even further and it then takes away what little confidence they did have evaporates.

    It's ok to be shy and reserved many guys including myself find this cute and alluring. It brings out the proactive masculine side in you.. iam I'd guess considered an alpha male but actually iam not. It's the sporty man's man image that sits comfortable with me. Iam a big guy strong and fit. However I've all ways been drawn to the quiet woman sat down in the corner of a crowded room. Even though she's quiet I've all ways found they are so much more intelligent. If you can get them past the shyness they have so much more interesting things to say than the woman that's in your face..
    Every time they all said the same thing. Why would you want to talk to me?
    I've just overtime found them fascinating..
    The only thing I ask of you is when your approached try to just keep going with the conversation. Even if you feel silly or stupid just keep talking about something anything. It will not matter just as long as the guy can see your open to conversation..
    Good luck. Happy to chat any time private message me if you'd like.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm also very shy, and I can tell you it sets me back a lot. I've been on many dates but I just can't seem to be myself because of nerves and because I'm shy. So yeah, it's really not fun, but I wouldn't say it's the worst thing ever. It's just something some guys will not care about (and they'll get to know you better) and most of them will. But then you'll also end up with the good ones so it's ok. I stopped ignoring this and told the guy straightforward I was shy because then I wouldn't feel so much pressure if things went wrong. I knew they were aware of it. And it works. I for instance have a few VERY good friends because it's hard to get to know me, but It's worth it for those who do. Just don't worry about it, I'm currently seeing a very shy guy myself and he hasn't dumped me yet so I guess not all of them like extroverts. It's kind of cute :)

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What Guys Said 20

  • Shy guys are worse off. Sorry to minimize your strife, but these extroverted girls that throw themselves at shy guys are few in number. The amount of guys approaching shy girls is frequent, including online where young girls get disproportionate attention.

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  • Being the shy girl is not the worst thing ever. Simply get a few freinds that are extrovers. make sure it is a mixed group of them and practice being out there and social. It takes time and practice to be outgoing. When your going out to look for guys take your extrovert freinds with you they will be the once to push you into going over to talk to that hot guy you like.

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  • No, there is nothing wrong in being a shy girl. You shouldn't feel bad

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  • When I was your age I was a bit shy. Actually I would probably have been attracted to you if I knew you and probably approached you to get to know you. So there are guys out there who like shy women.

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  • Trust me its the best asset you can ever have... I feel you! I am not shy nor anti social... but sometimes I too feel so alone (even though I have people around)... that time when I need to so desperately talk to someone, you know like let your feelings out!

    Yeah... the outgoing girls... experienced one... the guys who experience those ;always go for the shy ones after...

    Stop looking for a guy to take care of you... learn to be independent... this way the right guy will always come along!

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  • I have the same problem. I'm also really shy and I can't talk to people, even when I like them.
    The problem that men have though is that the chance is a lot bigger that a guy would talk to a shy girl than that a girl would talk to a shy guy.
    A nice example is that one time I saw this shy girl and we were looking at each other a bit awkwardly, At that moment it looked like we might become friends if just one of us started talking, but nobody did and then a guy cam along who was a bit more talkative and started chatting with the girl. I was so ashamed that I waited so long that I jsut walked away.

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  • Try internet dating. Watch out for the wackos, but there a lot good guys out there that you can initiate chatting in text form. When you get relaxed and get ready to meet him, he knows you and you know him already. He knows that you might be shy and still he wants to meet you. Even if it doesn't go there, at least you get to chat with the guys.

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  • Try being a shy guy growing up. Not easy.
    As for you, you are going to have to force yourself to get out and meet people. Try MeetUp, I am sure there is a group that will make you feel comfortable in there. But you will have to make the decision to get out the door to go. And smile and be proud of yourself and say 'hi'.

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  • "Shy guys never make a move either, and they just end up with an extremely out going girl who throws herself on him even if he's not really into her. "

    This doesn't happen.

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    • it does when he's good looking that's why it's annoying. why is such an attractive guy with such an unattractive girl?

  • I don't think being a shy girl is bad. I have friends who are shy and I would date a shy girl. Also, feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to

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  • your just a shy introvert like me if im not wrong, i can relate to your situation, a lot of girls are attracted to me too but im shy thats why i missed a lot of chances. but its ok when its mean to be happen it will.

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  • It's worse to be sad than to be shy :)

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  • Get out and get involved in as many sports and activities as possible. You'll find someone you can talk to about a common interest and the conversation can grow from there. You won't meet anyone by hiding all the time.

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  • I am an introvert and anti social. I feel alone as well. I don't know what the solution is but at least now you know that you're not alone in feeling this way.

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  • No. I love shy. They're hard to crack and I love hard levels.

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  • Nope its not worst i like shy gorls who dress like gorillas and search this in googol.

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  • No, the worst thing ever is to be a shy guy

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  • shy means nothing as a word. its the underying problems that form this whole picture you generalisingly call "shy" that turn men off.

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  • No. Shy guys and ugly women are worse off. You know that guys like you, you just need to be brave for a moment and drop a relatively strong hint you're interested back. Ugly women and shy men are nowhere near that stage, they're going to need to wade forward through sustained rejection to get anywhere.

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  • Reality is that you're going to have to suck it up and say hi to someone you like.

    Then just thank your lucky stars you're a girl where this problem is trivial compared to if you were a guy.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Even though I'm in the same boat as you (minus the age 😂), it's not the worst thing.
    The dating world is still pretty old fashioned (it starts to change though), so a shy guy is more screwed than a shy girl.

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  • It's really up to you. I think shy people have a way of putting a mask that they don't look shy and they look like they want to be alone. If you are anti social, then you aren't ready to meet people in general.

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