Am I unintentionally putting him on the rebound? What should I do? Please help?

My (ex) boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me a little less than a month ago, b/c he was hanging out with a friend& she kissed him. Confused, guilty and regretful about it. He broke up with me. The 1st week he claimed to still love me be attracted to me that it was a mistake and meant nothing but that I deserved better. And it may be best for us to take a break till high school ended.2nd week he was distant but still open to hanging out and being there for me. He started smoking&drinking his excuse being he missed me but knows if we got back together we would have probs. I agreed.3rd week something changed and he seemed more distant and seems more into about making me jealous. Suddenly he has a new best friend a female who not trying to be mean but is ugly. When I didn't make a comment about it he stopped posting things about her. He also asked me if I was talking To anyone and insisted he wasn't. Since our break up I've hung out with this other guy twice. The 1St time we watched a movie and he drove me home the second he picked me up from school we came to my house and spent about 6-7 hrs together. Unexpectedly we ended up cuddeling, we watched a movie as well as got high, he didn't pull any moves. The most contact we made was through cuddeling and him lightly rubbing my knee or leg but no kiss no sex. I didn't expect him to reach out that way and I felt great. There was plenty of chemical before we even smoked. The next day we talked again and he gave me a hug. I find myself thinking of him more than my ex and though I would never use him as or like a rebound. I do see myself attracted to him. The only problem, is that I'm not sure if this guy would like me back. He's somewhat the player the first time we hung out he claimed he was done with those things and wanted something more serious. But it's hard to find a good girl. I'm not sure if I should imply us hanging out again. Or let things be both the times we did end up hanging out he implied

Updates:
Today he hugged me before leaving to class and I left to hang out with my friends and eat at my house, my ex saw one of their post and sent me message saying thanks for the invite a long woth snapchat and videos of him going to smoke. He has no idea I hung out with this other guy to smoke for my first time. I intent to keep it that way I also found out I'm going to go to the same college as this other guy. My relationship was for almost 3 years

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The first thing you have to figure out is if you are willing to give your ex another chance. It seems to me that you two aren't over each other. He wants you back hence the trying to make you jealous (to get you back) and him seeming distance (to make you miss him) . He is trying and thats great. When and if you choose to forgive him (after apology ofcourse ) is entirely up to you but every one makes mistakes and I am impressed at how honest he is because thats really hard to find in a man these days.

    Secondly , with regards to this second guy, he may like you and he may be trying to turn over a new leaf but if you feel like giving him a chance then you are gonna have to let go off the ex and if you can't decide where you are now, you can't move forward. Seems like you two are on friendly levels now but anything more , would be rebound (unintentional or not).

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    • The problem with my ex though is he comes in making it sound like we will get back together and then leaves barely last night he said if I start drinking think of it as we will never get back together. But later on in the convo he changed it. When I mentioned how he spends time woth this other girl only because she keeps him conpany. (He told me this and claimed they are only friends. When he's alone he thinks of us) however he drinks and is doing drugs now. All to make him "feel better" so when I asked if this girl is why we can't work things out he said we can't be together. Because he isn't straight or good for me anymore He has a corrupt life. And then he said he was doing to block me so that he doesn't have to see me and just wants me to be happy. My ex has a rep for bringing me up to bring me down

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    • You are absolutely right. your ex has some real issues that only he can solve. Help is there if he wants it but you can't "bring a donkey to a well and make it drink". He's going to have to make an effort to change. Drugs are not the way and they certainly make life worse. This will transpire into his relationships, family life etc. He isn't good for you or the other girl. Seeing that he doesn't want to take the step or make up with you then you have to move on and do whats best for you

    • thanks for the mho

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