Don't know what to do anymore?

Well after an experience tonight it reminds me that I'm not that great with girls, even though I still try. I just don't have much to say, even the girls I do know for some reason there is this mental block and just never know what to say to them other than checking to see how they are doing. To me if it really isn't worth saying I'm not going to say it, or I will tell myself that doesn't make sense or don't want to sound like an interviewer. Other than joking around there isn't much more to me, and it's frustrating because other guys have girls just drawn to them. On the other hand I just can't have an intelligible conversation and also I should say I have a problem speaking. This problem is that I think a lot faster than I talk and the words will either get jumbled up or I sound like I'm stuttering. Any ways I just don't know what to do to actually have girls look at me as more interesting, because even the girls that I think are into me tend to go after the other guys. Just confused on what to do.


What Girls Said 1

  • What do you mean there isn't much more to you? Don't you have opinions? Or things you're interested in? There are always way too many things to talk about.


What Guys Said 1

  • I'm not clear how much of the problem of not having much to say is related to the difficulty you sometimes have in saying it. When you say you don't want to say something unless it's worthwhile, it sounds like a rationalization to me. There is all sorts of worthwhile things to say between the extremes of deeply meaningful comments and mindless chitchat.

    One problem with saying nothing is that you will appear disinterested in what they have to say. It''s important in any conversation to show you really are listening by having a personal to what they say. Assuming you are not disinterested, you have some sort of personal reaction and that should be verbalized or communicated somehow.

    Another problem is that by not speaking you are holding back about yourself. They are opening up to you at some level and you are not returning the favor. This puts them at a disadvantage. This applies to discussions with everyone.

    You will probably never be a big or smooth talker but that's not the point. You don't need to compare yourself to others. But you do need to find a way to open up a lot more since it will continue to put people off.