Why are people still so racist when it comes to dating?

Black women are ugly and mannish. Asian women are sex dolls. Indian men are creepy and smell weird. Middle Eastern men are abusive and violent. (some disgusting stereotypes I've heard thrown around)

Finally, because I am an Asian male, supposedly we have:

Small dicks.
Sexless.
Aren't real men.
Short.
Nerdy.
Abusive.
Workhorses.
Socially awkward.
Will never be as good as white men.
Can never be truly "American", always perceived as a foreigner.
Asian women deserve better than Asian guys and should date white guys instead.

This is all the bullshit that has prevented me from getting many dates throughout high school, college, and post-college. It's disgusting. It seems like the dating world glorifies whites, and shames non-whites, especially non-white men. Asian men and black women seem to get the worst of the bunch.

To this day, I still hear this garbage. I dated 3 Asian women who left me for white guys and became self-haters, and spat at me about all the bad stereotypes regarding Asian guys. I dated 2 white women, and people always asked them why they were with me. They were all asked, "isn't his dick small? Isn't the sex terrible?"

These stereotypes are disgusting, NOT true, and are extremely damaging! We're all human! We all need and deserve love! It's 2016, why is the color of our skin such a huge issue when it comes to dating and love?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because racism and all those who believe in it help carry out an agenda for wealth and power. Whenevr you see a group of people in history being dehumanized it was so the masses would feel better about the atrocities towards other ethnicities and or countries. These beliefs are carried out because people are too stupid to think for themselves and they think just because someone is your parent or grandparent, who tucks you in at night, who feeds you, who told you stories, that every thing they say is true and should be believed with all of their hearts. I truly see implanting racism into a child as a form of mental child abuse. They have hate put into them and their innocence stolen. Most never stop to think just how sick and ill a racist mind set is. Hating someone because they have a different skin color and or features, is not logical and to me is a form of mental illness. If I had a deep hatred for everyone who had a bowl cut and I was even inclined to get violent with them because of it don't you think I would end up in a mental hospital? Racists are some of the biggest slaves around. Still carrying out and continuing agendas that were started centuries ago by "masters" who have been dead for generations, and never stopping to really question the logic in it, it disgusts me, and I applaud all the people who were raised to be that way but resisted it. Stay strong this world is frustrating when you have sense and don't hate people because of their physical features.

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    • Agreed - racism is taught from a young age.

      Thankfully, there's people who know better than the previous generation. My best friend's dad casually calls African Americans "niggers" without batting an eye and openly says that they are not human. It's horrifying. My friend refuses to follow his father's despicable ways and is very active in our university's cultural diversity/LGBT agenda.

      Character first, looks second.

    • Hell yeah!! I applaud your friend I think it takes a lot of strength to go against parents, relatives, and even friends and their racism.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with you. I think Hollywood has a lot to do with this way of thinking. You see a lot of this in movies (so it must be true right?) lol. The media somewhat as well. People should know better and probably do, but they don't think or are immature.

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    • This is why I NEVER watch Hollywood movies or any American media for that matter. So much stereotyping that brainwashes people into superiority (whites, mostly - let's be real here) or self-hatred (minorities). How many TV shows or movies have you seen where the main character (s) is white, and the sidekick or villain is a minority? Like 99 percent of them lol

What Girls Said 10

  • Jesus. You know its ironic how everyone "supports" antiracism and feminism etc.. But when it comes down to it no one really supports it down to the core of it unless directly subjected to it. Its a bit more extreme an cruel to connect sexual orientation to race and compatability but u narrows it down quicker i guess. Personally i can't talk much as i spend a lot of time alone in your eyes but thats my take on it

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    • Yup. Can't tell you how many times my peers claim not to be racist but then say or assume something racially insensitive without knowing it's not okay. Like assuming Asian men can't take leadership roles, or they are surprised that I can't use chopsticks. Uh, because forks are easier?

      I know men who claim to support equality for women. But then turn around and say that they don't belong in STEM majors, should stay at home, and shouldn't (horrifying, right? "Shouldn't") earn as much as men.
      I run into the female equivalent - they say feminism is about equality, but assume that all men are pigs, men are stupid, and men are worthless if they are not 6 feet or make 6 figures.

      Ugh, the world is so screwed up :(

    • there's stereotypes from every category. After awhile i think we have to be more careful of those working influence our view or take on different opinions. doesn't matter which side your on, but taking on a side in of itself contradicts the biases and stereotypes. So ultimately the logic is to accept it all leave differences alone. Let everyone be who they are, help those your capable of helping, form relationships with or memories and just live out your life. Why does any race need the stamp across its forhead like small size. It has Conformity written all over it.

    • human superiority is really where it all comes from. People want to feel better than everyone else. I try looking at it from a low point. Try completely dropping all standards, well before you tap into dangerous categories, lol and live with the perspective of an ant. As if your invisable. Shameless. Makes Going out alone sitting in a booth at night drinking a milkshake just because you felt like it, watching people, everyone interact. see things on a different level and admire them for different reasons. The majestic sides of life i think. Well thats all I've got to say.

  • I agree with you... I guess it's unconscious racism? Like... People don't actually realize that they're being racist? I don't know, but I see this all the time, especially on the Internet. I don't know why people have such an issue with people doing things that don't affect them. It's really dumb.

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  • Lol, they're just ignorant pricks. I'm biracial (black/white hispanic #latina) and my boyfriend is white. I like him a lot and I could care less what the color of his skin is.

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  • babe, it's okay because it's isolated in the west. i ensure that if you go to china, japan, korea, thailand they will not have shitty stereotypes for Asian males. just find the right crowd of proud Asians in the US and you'll easily fall in love. i'm a black woman and i couldn't give less of a rat's ass what americans think of black women because we're considered beautiful in my country where the stakes aren't default set against us in the dating world.

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  • Haha i like Asian guys... but im Asian too 😕

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    • Ha, thanks. I'm glad you can see past the stereotypes.

  • I believe that society has not matured enough to see past these stereotypes. Of course, it is counter-productive when television, internet, social media, and family values influence a person's every thought, ethic, and action. I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but as a whole, society is too brainwashed (for lack of a better word) to form their own opinions and see past one's exterior. On a much larger scale, everyone is guilty of judging solely based on the exterior every day. That is why I believe one can never say not to judge a book by its cover; it's usually a hypocritical remark.

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    • Agreed. I turned off the television a long time ago. Yes, occasionally I still certain shows on Netflix, but I do not watch movies or mainstream TV. I know plenty of people who do the same, and their world view is much broader and more understanding. I want to discover the world for myself and not just blindly believe what others tell me. Traveling abroad (not to touristy destinations - to countrysides and villages or slums even) has definitely helped me see many walks of life, and I have the utmost respect for people from all these different backgrounds. There are wonderful people everywhere, regardless of mother tongue or skin color. I wish people could discover the world with their eyes instead of through the tube or computer screen :(

  • Thank you for being someone with some sense on GaG. Seriously, thank you.

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  • It has to do with the way minorities have been viewed in the "white light" all we can do is be us, and someone will love us. Who wants those racist buttholes anyway!

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  • nobody is good enough for white recording to them :p and since you are living in their countries i guess you just have to get used to these stereotypes ;)

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  • I think wanting children who look like me is a valid reason to refuse interracial dating. I know it's not politically correct to say things like that, but I don't care. I could never marry interracially because the thought of what my kids would look like is off putting.

    I also think this applies to every race.

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    • That's not really racist though. I only find pale white women attractive, but I have friends who are black and Asian. I don't hate non whites, but I don't see why we should expect people to date anyone they're not attracted to.

What Guys Said 13

  • I think this might be a bit exaggerated but I see your point. I'd offer up one tip though and say that it might not necessarily be just a person's race but their culture. I think embracing American culture would go a long way and make girls feel a lot more comfortable being around you because you would seem more familiar rather than foreign.

    Assuming you're already doing that, being 3rd or 4th generation then maybe you're drawn to racists for some reason. A lot of women these days feel quite entitled to their knight in shining armor, thanks Disney and Feminism, without having to work for it.

    Also the somewhat obvious but have you considered that it might be more complex than just race? Maybe you should focus on what you bring to the table as well. Try to make sure you're healthy as you can be, smart, funny, fun, etc. Also try to find new outlets to meet people... maybe a bookstore, or a club, somewhere that you can find people you might get along with.

    Source: I'm a white guy and I know and have known a lot of different types of girls, races and etc.

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    • Less than pleasant side note: I have probably been involved with girls similar to the ones you have been turned down by. They can have some pretty insane expectations and do some pretty insane things. Trust me you aren't missing out.

  • Question for you. Why do people think the whole world's opinion are shaped in white countries. Believe it or not america is a white country so is the uk and France and all the other western nations. Of course they're going think their own people are better. Think white men don't get a hard time in other cultures? Maybe your in the wrong place. If you don't like a roller ride you don't go to the management and demand they rebuild it do you? No you somewhere else till you find one you like. Despite what's said in the popular press and opinions on sites like this the people in power in the west are still conservative and whilst they might shift the posts a little to accommodate different races the core values will still be the same.

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    • Sounds like that's the sad truth. Since moving to another country or even a different state is not practical at the moment, the best I can do is just pick out the people who have a more worldly, accepting view of people.

    • Seriously. You've no preference to your own race at all? Every man's equal in your eyes? Everybody prefers their own. It's nature. It's not a crime.

  • It is hard-wired natural instinct to want to mate with one's own kind.
    Millions of years of natural selection have wired us to be attracted sexually to those who look like us.
    For the more educated, there is also an understanding and appreciation of history and the biological reality of significant physical and intellectual differences between the races.
    I find females of other races to range between unattractive and utterly repulsive.
    I could be marooned on an island with a multitude of females of other races and I would not touch any of them.

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    • i totally agree, am so attracted to my own race then to other races ;)

  • Preferences are not racist and stereotypes are rooted in truth.
    Sucks to be stereotyped, but I recommend proving stereotypes wrong instead of complaining about them on G@G.

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  • it´s not racist, if you have a preference for certain ethicities in dating...

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    • No problems with preference. It's just the race shaming in the dating world that's the problem.

    • well i don´t think this is a thing. sure there are still black sheep out there but the majority is ok with it. ask on here, if you don´t believe me. make a poll. like 90% will say it´s ok.

  • Because most people are sheep and they believe what is perpetrated by the media. Like it or not, the media and Hollywood dictates what people find attractive.

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    • I turned my back on Hollywood upon entering college and being exposed to many different cultures. I became way more accepting and respectful of other cultures, including my own, and that shattered my original thoughts of the Hollywood-driven "white is right" that I had believed for so long. Thankfully many people experience this, and sadly many people don't. Hopefully more and more kids in future generations will.

    • I hate Holywood too, but mainly because I'm anti pop culture. The false and negative sterotypes perpetrated by the media doesn't help either.

      With that being said, it's all about your confidence and how you carry yourself. I've never had issues with attracting and dating White women (most of my past GFS were White).

      Ironically, I've never been with an Asian woman.

  • Guys aren't even close to being racist when it comes to dating as girls.

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  • People can't tell what my race is. I don't get that kind of bullshit.

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    • your dark hair and beard says you are middle eastern, but then your skin clor says you are white and you eyes says you are Asian... weird o. O

    • @username3 I'm half jewish and filipino. Nice observation on the eyes there too. Most people who see think I'm white.

  • Your first paragraph is right on

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  • Middle eastern are rough!!
    Thanks for the compliment :p lol

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  • There are stereotypes on every race from every race. It is a way of life right now which does suck.

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  • that is crazy all of us from Adam and Eve all of us from one source

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  • Well, its U. S , most racist country in the world.

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