I want to be with someone who is nice, goal-oriented, intelligent, hard-working, caring, honest and treats everyone with respect. But I'm falling for a high school dropout who smokes pot and plays video games all day in his parent's basement.
Most Helpful Guy
You know how there are jokes about guys having two brains, one in our heads, and the other in our pants. Well it is sorta true, and women suffer from the same problem.
What you are sexually attracted to isn't the traits you want to be attracted to. If you are honest with yourself, you don't see a guy that is hard working, and think to yourself "Damn he looks sexy" just because he works hard. Nor does a woman get wet just because a guy is caring, honest, or treats people with respect.
We are all a little shallow, and that is okay. Pretty much all sexuality is based on traits that society tells us is shallow. Sexual attraction is about the survival of our species. We didn't evolve to fall for people just because they are nice. This is also the problem "nice guys" don't understand. There isn't a problem with being nice, but being nice has nothing to do with making someone fall for you.
When it comes down to it, the person you "fall for" is based on lust, and is not based on what we respect in other people. This guy must have some other traits that you lust after, in order to make you fall for him. It could be his body, his confidence, his deep sexy voice, or any other trait you happen to like that he has. You may even be attracted to jerks, because you see that as them having more confidence, and therefore less desperate than a weaker man that needs to work to earn a woman's attention.0