Why do I always fall for guys that are complete jerks?

I want to be with someone who is nice, goal-oriented, intelligent, hard-working, caring, honest and treats everyone with respect. But I'm falling for a high school dropout who smokes pot and plays video games all day in his parent's basement.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You know how there are jokes about guys having two brains, one in our heads, and the other in our pants. Well it is sorta true, and women suffer from the same problem.

    What you are sexually attracted to isn't the traits you want to be attracted to. If you are honest with yourself, you don't see a guy that is hard working, and think to yourself "Damn he looks sexy" just because he works hard. Nor does a woman get wet just because a guy is caring, honest, or treats people with respect.

    We are all a little shallow, and that is okay. Pretty much all sexuality is based on traits that society tells us is shallow. Sexual attraction is about the survival of our species. We didn't evolve to fall for people just because they are nice. This is also the problem "nice guys" don't understand. There isn't a problem with being nice, but being nice has nothing to do with making someone fall for you.

    When it comes down to it, the person you "fall for" is based on lust, and is not based on what we respect in other people. This guy must have some other traits that you lust after, in order to make you fall for him. It could be his body, his confidence, his deep sexy voice, or any other trait you happen to like that he has. You may even be attracted to jerks, because you see that as them having more confidence, and therefore less desperate than a weaker man that needs to work to earn a woman's attention.

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What Guys Said 11

  • You're a teenager, you're in your rebellious stage whether you like it or not (it's part of adolescence. You're attracted to the opposite of what your parents will approve of.

    You grow out of it though, once you hit 20 you stop chasing the jerks (well thats the hope anyway)

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  • You tell me lol, maybe you just like the essence they portray I guess?

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  • Could be self esteem, but probably just because this is what teenage girls tend to do.

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  • There are a multitude of reasons this could be happening. I'm afraid I don't have enough information to come to any conclusions. Can you describe these situations in more depth?

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    • I want to be with someone who is nice, goal-oriented, intelligent, hard-working, caring, honest and treats everyone with respect. but I always end up liking guys who don't have any of those qualities.

    • You misunderstand. There are several kinds of bad boys each with a different style of attraction. So he smokes and plays video games. That's all you told me.

  • That's the law of attraction. The way you're, you'll get attracted and attached to complete opposite.

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  • Because you are under 18.

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  • and you're not even 18 years old.

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  • I have a girlfriend and when I started dating her I know I have to be like that. So when I'm honest and everything she just asks for more, she doesn't even like when I have a beer with some friends

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  • It's natural. If you did date the "nice" guy, you'd wind up dumping him or cheating because he's boring.

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  • Because you're a woman... and most women your age tend to like losers.

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  • most bad boys are super hot!!! so don't blame you

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What Girls Said 5

  • Do you have parental issues? Father issues? Low-self esteem? I fall for a lot of jerks all the time. All. The. Time. I realized it was because I had issues with my father which caused me to feel I deserved less than I actually did. Once I realized the problem, I started working on myself and am with someone who's definitely not like all the others. He's not a saint, but he's not a prick either.

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  • Just because ur smart pretty goal oriented etc doesn't mean u can't love a guy who smokes pot etc. My guess is u both hav hidden strengths and weaknesses. Dont approach anything at face value. Look at the big picture. Were all human and cope differently. Except that one truth and ull be happier.

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  • Cut contact with him if you Rally do not want to be with someone lik that

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  • Smoking and play video games don't make you a jerk. I prefer my boyfriend to play video games all day than cheat on me. Smoking I could care less serious that's not a big deal

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  • hormones...

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    • Can you explain more?

    • @HeWhoPonders jerks are very confident and also physically attractive.

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