Falling in love with a divorcie?

Long story short, he's 53 and im 23, we fool around every week or two, and he treats me like a true lady. We get along great and have a lot in common, the problem is, he JUST got divorced in January and is healing from events that caused said divorce. Anyway he's told me before that im dangerous for him meaning (im too easy to fall in love with) and that he really likes me but wants to guard his heart. He even said that sometimes when he says he loves my bod it also means he loves me as a whole. So my question here is, what should i do? Should i say that my feelings are growing more for him? Supress it? Let things play out? Im able to turn off emotions easily too


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say let it play out, but don't rush things, you don't want to open up any wounds... divorces can be rough. Maybe invite him out. People forget that sometimes a wound opened by one person can be healed by another.

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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 12

  • question is, are you down for a long term relationship w/ a 53 year old?

    he'll be 68 w/ possible age related issues and you'll be in your late 30s. eventually, that means you'll be taking care of him when you're still young.

    Then comes analogies. that Gap is so wide that every reference he makes you'll have trouble relating to... or even know whom or what he's referring to. I mean it's easy to get along when y'all are getting to know each other and playing the roles. but eventually, you two are gonna have to enjoy each others long term company, conversation, and thoughts. It can easily turn into someone sounding like your father.

    careful.

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    • "Then comes analogies. that Gap is so wide that every reference he makes you'll have trouble relating to... or even know whom or what he's referring to."

      I'm sorry that the younger people you've met are all so incredibly stupid.

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    • @redeyemindtricks much better. once again intelligence has nothing to do with me not experiencing the 70s or American bandstand.

      people need some common ground to relate on. sharing a strong passion for something bridges massive age gaps the best in my opinion.

    • • Think of someone you're close to.

      • Think of the things you share with that person.

      I'm willing to bet LOTS of money that those things are... not THINGS.
      They're probably
      ... core values
      ... ways of apprehending life
      ... ways of dealing with people
      ... personality traits
      etc.

      I mean, at least I fucking well hope so, anyway.

      I mean... I love the US Interstate highway grid, and I have a thing for classical music and '90's Long Beach hip-hop, and I like to build rat rods from scrap.
      BUT...
      If THOSE are the things that connect me to a relationship partner? Then... uh, I don't even really have a RELATIONSHIP. I just have a fun activity-partner-friend.

      A REAL RELATIONSHIP has absolutely nothing at all to do with shit like TV shows, dude.

      And, it's not like those things couldn't be explained in about 12 seconds, anyway.

  • Let it play out but keep your eyes wide open and just hold your heart back a little to be sure what your seeing and feeling is true. Let's hope it is for both of you.

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  • He's old enough to be your dad.

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  • Let things play out.

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  • He will exploit you for sure.

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    • Why do you say that?

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    • Yeah im fully aware :p thanks for your comment

    • Just don't get into trouble, that's all I want to say.

  • I think you should do what he says :)

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  • he's 53? Dafuq? Are u dating ur grand dad?

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  • rebound

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  • He might on the way of another one

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  • Let it play out for a while, if things are still going really well late this year early next, maybe speak up more, but it's been really soon.

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  • daddy issues galore

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  • ... Daddy issues?

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    • How does me liking older men mean i have daddy issues

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    • Yeah i know, but older men really just excite me more then guys my age group

    • Well it's your choice then. I am also in my 50's and I could never date someone as young as you. You're just so young compared to a guy my age, I would think of you as my daughter. It would creep me out. But not all older guys are like me, so you can try to get with him if that's what you want.

What Girls Said 8

  • You do know that yr last sentence is totally a lie, right? Just saying...
    ... yeah

    __

    ooookay
    reality check time girl.

    "he really likes me but wants to guard his heart"
    this ^^
    ... means that he's NOT giving himself to you, emotionally.

    so, I have a question for you.

    the question is:
    WHAT IS HE GIVING YOU?

    That's the question.

    I mean... it's possible that he's just giving you the best sex of yr life, sure. If that's true, then, I totally feel ya -- a girl's got needs, and some girls' needs are stronger than others. I mean, I'd come fucking unhinged if I didn't get mines.

    It's also possible that he's giving you, well, the more usual thing that older men give younger women (= material benefits).

    It's even possible that you have a devilish masochistic streak in you, and he's actually tangibly giving you nothing -- but, yr such a masochist that you actually take great delight in the fact that he's giving you nothing.
    If that's yr sexuality, then, it is what it is, and it's important that you identify these things about yrself. Because, then, you'd still be getting SOMETHING, in that way.

    But, I mean, you NEED to be getting SOMETHING out of this relationship. Something.

    So...

    What is he giving you?

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    • Comments like this really bring me back to reality. Thank you:)

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    • Im actually his sugar baby. He gives me hope encourages me to explore new things, listens etc. Thanks though

    • Oh, I see, you have a blog.

      Girl, you listen to me: You are being SERIOUSLY undercompensated. Sugar baby my ass, that's more like a sucralose baby with 5 calories per serving.
      I mean... I have no personal stake in this matter (I just couldn't do it -- nothing turns me off faster than men throwing money at me, sry), but, OMG you need to step up yr negotiation game.

      At a minimum, if yr gna do this sugar baby thing, the numbers on yr blog should all have at least another zero behind them.

  • This is good inspiration for a book!

    But to answer the question, I don't see any good coming from this.

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  • You're being played.

    He isn't interested in anything serious, he sees you as fling and rebound. He just wants sex.

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  • I think he just looking for a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to him and probably understand him as a friend. He might be in pain and confused, not looking for a serious or long term relationship. Take one step at a time, don't get involve with him too quickly. He might said: oh am sorry it was a big mistake blah blah , didn't know what I was doing (get the idea ). His divorce is too fresh, nothing good is going to come out of that. Save yourself some heartache and keep your distance.

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  • Turn away. This has got heartbreak all over it!

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  • He's going to get every emotion and amount of sex out of you until you get clingy and annoying to him and then he's going to ditch you feeling used and sad over him.

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  • Bad idea for obvious reasons.

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  • You are playing with fire young woman

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