When should you say those three little words?

my mother told me there were three questions to ask yourself before you say i love you:

1) would you starve so they could eat?
2) would you kill for them?
3) would you die for them?

i seriously think thats like a mother's love, not just... love lol i heard it's just romantic feelings towards someone too. my parents aren't exactly big on me dating. maybe she was just saying things to make me put it off? i believe there is a difference in being in love and loving someone. i love a bunch of people, but i dont think im in love with anyone. there are people that make me happy when i talk to them, but i dont think thats love...

i guess i have a lotta questions: how do you know when you're in love? is love overrated? when do you say ily? thanks!

Updates:
i think my question is more: is marriage overrated? my mom has not had good luck with men (until now, thank God) i dont see myself getting married. statistically speaking ill be married at least twice, but i dunno. seems like it isn't worth it...
so as i understand it, you can say i love you when they become your priority. thanks yall!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is nonsense. If you love a person, tell them! Why is it so easy to say I love ice cream or coffee, but you can't say it to a person you have feelings for?
    It seems like women have destroyed the meaning of the word and made it into a technical status mark, in which you can't use it until a list of requirements have been fulfilled... If I love her and saying it bothers her because her list shows a few check marks missing, its not a real relationship in my opinion.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I say "I love you" when I feel it. No one else can tell you what your emotions are, and you can never be wrong. Even if the person turns out no to be he one, you can always recover from it. Don't be afraid to shower other people with love, as long as you feel hey deserve your love.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I agree with all of those things, if you say no to any of them then I don't see it as true love. I have more things to add to the list though.

    When you literally can't even imagine your life without them, you know it's love. When you care about their feelings much more than your own, it's love. When they break up with you and you feel as though the only way to end the pain is through suicide, it's most certainly love (one sided love though). When the thought of ever being with someone else just doesn't even enter your mind, it's love. When just hearing the sound of their voice can turn even the worst of days into a good day, it's love.

    Ummm that's all I can think of at the minute lol but those are definitely some certain signs of being in love.

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    • omg you're such a romantic lol so i should only say i love you to maybe one person? more if i have kids, of course

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    • lol no, i knew what you meant. you just mean its a great thing so long as the feeling is mutual. i agree lol

    • Wish I could like this a million times.

  • Love is just a word to describe greater likes, but the line at where it starts is completely arbitrary, you can say it whenever you feel like it.

    As for the questions, I think they are silly.
    Putting your safety at risk over anybody else isn't a sign of love but of a lack of reasoning.

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    • i get that. she sounded like she was exaggerating, but ya never know lol thanks!

    • Put your safety at risk so that they may be safe is the biggest sign of true love. Anyone who disagrees has never actually been in love.

  • i've never been in a relationship, so i dont really know lol

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  • my mom has bad luck with men too lol

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  • Thats not how is see or feel love. But yes, i would do that for the people i love.

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  • Ur in love with someone u can't speak to them because ur flustered

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  • The first one seems kind-of arbitrary in a predominantly obese country, but as far as the other two... People are threatening to kick in her door for calling the police on their friend who is now facing down 25 to life for a *laundry list* of other prior crimes... and I'm stocking up on guns and ammunition and reinforcing the doors... So that covers #2 & #3, right?

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    • lol i should think so. im sorry but the first sentence puts you in serious competition for MHO lol

    • I concur!

What Girls Said 9

  • Love isn't overrated, but I think people use it too loosely when it comes to relationships.

    Honestly, while your mother's example is extreme, I agree with it. Love is a very strong emotion. Only when you truly know the ins-and-outs of a person, even the bad but accept them anyway, that's love.

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    • yeah, i believe you shouldn't just throw around love you's. it means a lot to people, which is should

  • wtf, i wouldn't kill anyone for anything, i wouldn't die for anyone and i maybe would starve for my kid if i had one. i think love is a fake concept because it's not only one thing, it's affection combined with trust and respect.

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    • I don't believe you're truly in love with someone if you wouldn't die for them without a second thought.

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    • ^ this was an awesome debate AND it had a plot twist xD lol thanks yall!

  • You say it when you feel that you want to try everything in your power, for the rest of your life to truly love them the way love is described in the bible.

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  • love is giving someone the gun to your head trusting them not to pull the trigger.. i think you get the message. this is my definition of love

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  • When I put them before me. When I serve food, I serve them before I serve myself. When I'm being considerate and thoughtful for them. No I don't think love is overrated at all. I say it when I mean it. Spontaneously

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  • Oh, this is a serious + tricky question! I personally believe love is something we all define differently, and experience differently to some extent. But if it's someone you trust and feel like you can share your thoughts with, and they genuinely make you happy etc i think is one type of love. When you really look forward to seeing someone, and you want to be able to make them happy etc it's also love. There is also uh, 'stronger' types of love, like when you can't imagine a future without said person and so on. But just because you don't experience all things your mom listed doesn't mean you don't love someone? And yes i think there's a different between 'motherly' love and romantic love. But i also believe that platonic/'friend' love can be as strong and real as romantic ones. I'm not sure I'm making sense here but haha, this is a very interesting subject anyway

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  • Your mother's answer is I think a crock. It's a feeling. One cannot objectify feelings. When you feel that you say

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  • When the 3 words come out of your mouth with no thought :)

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  • I think you can say I love you when you're willing to put yourself aside for the benefit of your special someone.

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