Shy guys - care to answer a couple quick questions?

1) When you first go up to to a girl you like, do you rehearse what you want to say in your head?

2) The more or longer you like her, does it get harder to talk to her? (in person or online)

3) If she tried to talk to you, would you be happy or would you freak out, go quiet, freeze up, etc? (in person or online)

4) Do you try to hide the fact that you have a crush on her from your friends or family?

5) What has to happen before you actually ask her out or show definite interest?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) When you first go up to to a girl you like, do you rehearse what you want to say in your head?
    Yes, I do this as I'm approaching anything making me nervous. I calculate all the possibilities and the possible outcomes and what my reply is going to be like depending on which possibility ends up being the outcome. It's really frustrating.
    2) The more or longer you like her, does it get harder to talk to her? (in person or online)
    Yes, sometimes I would meet a girl I'm into and let's say later I wanted to build the courage to go say something, I'd end up telling myself that I'll look like a wuss since I should have said something earlier and now it's too late. Something like "she'll figure out it took you a lot to come up with simple courage"
    3) If she tried to talk to you, would you be happy or would you freak out, go quiet, freeze up, etc? (in person or online)
    I would be happy for sure but also pretty nervous.
    4) Do you try to hide the fact that you have a crush on her from your friends or family?
    Yeah, I never share my crushes.
    5) What has to happen before you actually ask her out or show definite interest?
    If I get a bright green light by guy's standards. Like not just looking at me all the time which is a green light by a girl's standards no I mean something like just tell me you want to go out with me some time.

    Damn, I never knew I was that shy... LOL.

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    • Great answer, thank you! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Curious...

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    • You are?

    • Yep. I mean im aware of how men act but Im always curious to see what they have to say. You can observe men but you can never tell what theyre thinking. Makes me wonder.

    • Haha exactly.

What Guys Said 13

  • 1. Yes, shy guys do that many times

    2. Yes, of course the longer a shy guy likes a girl, the harder and harder it gets for him to talk to her.

    3. That's a good question, according to me on the inside a shy will be happy if she tried to talk to him, they will be happy on the inside thinking that a woman is taking the first step. However on the outside, they will go quiet and won't say anything.

    4. Yes, of course shy guy will try to hide his crush on her, he will try to make sure that she doesn't come to know or as long as he can hide it.

    5. What has to happen?, well that's not easy to answer. With a shy guy, it's the woman that has to take the first step, she needs to ask him out and start conversations with the shy guy, but with time as the shy guy gets more and more comfortable, he will start showing definite signs of interest.

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  • 1) Yes, but most times we do not walk up to her because we are shy.
    2) Yes, more and more pressure and stress builds up and higher and higher on the pedestal she goes!
    3) In person, lock up and freak out. Online probably really cool.
    4) Yes
    5) Confidence and comfort levels have to be high. Need a clear signal from her that she likes me and wants to talk to me.

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  • 1 every guy who is not a skilled player does
    2 it depends on how much you syke yourself out before you talk to her
    3 I would get excited and maybe mess up my words a bit. I'd kind of freeze up after messing up while I was talking to her.
    4 That depends on who knows her. If they know her then I let it slip hopping that it will get back to her that I like her.
    5 You have to muster up the courage to do so, or you just get used to talking with her.

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  • well I'm not shy but I'm reserved so I'll answer anyway.

    1. Nope I pretty much act completely upon instinct and being in the moment I usually don't have any pre-planned conversations, lines or anything in my head.

    2. Nope I find the longer I know someone and the more comfortable I am with them the easier it is to talk to them about anything really.

    3. Well despite being reserved and more of a listener in general I love listening to people talk and talking with people about all sorts of things. Plus part of my job has me interacting and talking with strangers all the time.

    4. Ehh depends I mean that's not a question I can give a sure answer to because there are many factors at play and it won't be the same with every girl.

    5. Well generally I need to feel something for her and knowing that she likes me or has clear signs of attraction towards me in generally help.

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  • 1) Definitely. You feel more confident when you know that you're ready to say what you feel.

    2) Nope. I want to talk with her MORE! Get to know her and all of that. I've experienced this both in real life and online.

    3) I'd be ecstatic if she talked to me. Again, I've had both experiences.

    4) When I had my first crush back in high school I kept it a secret from the people I really care about (family). I didn't care about what my classmates thought, so I wouldn't hide it while I was in school.

    5) I have to get to know her, spend some time with her in order to feel whether or not she feels the same way about me. When I first confessed my feelings to my girlfriend I did so because I knew that she felt the same way, and she confirmed it right after I opened up.

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  • 1) Yes many times
    2) If I already talked to her it gets easier
    3) I would be ecstatic since it would make my life so much easier
    4) Yes
    5) I have to feel confident in the moment

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  • 1. is very true for me as im a shy introvert.
    2. is only ture when im in person, in online sometimes i can talk to her easily.
    3. would be happy.
    4 . yes
    5. a lot of talking and sharing.

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  • 1. I never rehearse what I say to a crush I have. It's all just what comes in my mind.
    2. Yes it gets harder to talk to her in person.
    3. If she tried to talk to me it would be a nervous happy.
    4. It's just a small crush I have on a Co worker so no I don't go around saying things about it.
    5. Don't think that far ahead. I just go by in the moment.

    It sucks being shy. Especially in the situation I'm in with me receiving practical school training and she's a worker who could potentially be assigned to work with for the day where I'm forced to talk to her. I already showed signs I'm attracted to her and she's been looking at me too a lot.

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  • 1) usually to shy to even approach her
    2) yes
    3) i would be super nervous but try to not let it show
    4) yes i would. unless we get into a relationship
    5) i have to really like her and she must like me back
    I must also know her for at least 6 months

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  • 1) Yes I rehearse before hand
    2) Yes it gets harder the longer I've liked her
    3) I'd be very happy and relieved
    4) No I don't hide it

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  • 1. Yes
    2. Yes
    3. Freak outout
    4. Yes
    5. She message me and say I'm having feelings to.

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  • 1. yup
    2. Not really
    3. Happy
    4. No
    5. If she compliment me or approached me with confidence, or if she opened up really quickly

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  • 1) Almost every possible scenario I could think of, multiples times.

    2) Kinda depends on the topic. If she's friendly and topic is anything except relationships then it'd be easier to talk over time. If topic is relationships then yes, it gets harder by each passing second. Also, online conversations are always easier to handle.

    3) I would freak out at first. I need a warm up over text. Then face to face. If both goes well then I'm ready for phone calls. The girl I like tried to call me on Skype and I wanted to talk but I freaked out and kinda embarrassed myself by showing my anxiety.

    4) I will try to hide, yes. Eventually tell someone very close.

    5) I need to be at least 95% sure that she also likes me back. Some definitive proof that it's mutual or the best way she clearly states feelings or asks me directly.

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    • What might be some examples of "definitive proof that its mutual"?

    • Ummm not many examples. She tells our friend (who knows that I like her) that she likes me and that mutual friend tells me.
      She gives almost clear signs which is almost like announcing in public. You know guys are dumb, especially shy ones. Even most obvious hints will go unnoticed.
      I overhear something or things like that.
      Best case, she tells me herself. Just do some extra work in beginning until that guy opens up. Rest will be fine.

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