My mother doesn't like my boyfriend because he's poor, what can I do?

She keeps on making ridiculous comments like he should be giving me money and I should be in charge of his finances.

I also find it ridiculous that she compares him to my sister's fiance, especially since he is 5 years older and has graduated from uni whilst my boyfriend is still at uni.

I've tried to explain that boyfriends are not banks, but how can I get her to mind her own business. I find many of her comments upsetting.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell your mother:- If you give them one room full of Notes/Money and there is no one except her in this planet ; ask her what she will do with that money or what she will do ;since Money can't talk with you, money can't help you in real trouble, money can't listen to your feelings etc.

    But one the other hand If you have a boyfriend or a guy except the money full room, he may help you in trouble, he will listens to your feelings, he will give you real satisfaction since you are a better half of him etc. He can have a job to earn a living and will live with you forever till death. And of course money can be earn and finally money is non-living thing;in simple a paper only. By the way I hope you got some idea, be happy and respect your mother and have a good conversation with her and make her understand your feeling.

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    • thank you for MHO <3

Most Helpful Girl

  • I like you. You are classy.

    Classy girls always deserve a shout-out.

    Considering yr own mother is literally trying to raise you to be a whore, you deserve many shout-outs.
    45.media.tumblr.com/.../...dm4qaY1sutto7o1_500.gif

    Fuck yeah babes!
    You are mah #wcw this week.
    <3

    As for yr mother -- well... if she's ever old and poor, then, I guess you can rake her over the coals for not being a good enough whore to find a rich man to provide for her.
    LOL
    Then you can decide whether it's worth it to bail her out, under those circumstances. Yr call.

    For now, you are mah honorary little sister. Go get yours, babe.

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What Guys Said 36

  • well is he irresponsible with money?

    i think it's important to tell your mom that money doesn't make the man. you like him for who he is and most guys (people) are not flush with cash in college... i know i was by all means essentially poor in college.

    but ultimately you just need to ignore your mom. if he's a good guy and you like him that's all that matters.

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    • No, he is very responsible with money.

    • so really it's just a matter of a guy in college who doesn't have time to work. remind your mom that he's in school and when he's done he'll have a degree and a chance to make far more money in his lifetime than if he quit school and worked full time

  • Your mother is a traditionalistic hag.

    You said in the comments that he's very responsible with money, and really that's all you can ask him to be.

    If he doesn't like him for being poor, then she's the one who's the problem. That kind of materialistic dickbaggery is something I have no respect for.

    If you want to get her to change her mind or mind her own business then cut her off. Tell her you're going to be with him because you love him (which is the only reason one needs to be with a person, not their wealth), and that if she cannot accept him because he's not rich enough, you'd rather surround yourself with people who aren't superficial.

    If she doesn't comes around, you'll know that you were right in what you said and you will know that she still doesn't accept him or respect you or your choices.
    However if she comes around which she most likely will, it's basically an admission of you being right and her being in the wrong.

    Your mom is a baby, don't listen to her.

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  • You can do nothing, it's up to her to accept it and change. All you can do is continue by his side and disagree with her when she speaks those thigs about him.

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  • Your boyfriend is still a student at uni. Most uni students don't have any money. I don't understand why your mom would criticize your boyfriend for that. It doesn't mean he'll always be poor.

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  • really? those comments? damn thats harsh.

    just remind your mom that you're only 23 lol.

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  • well, you will never be able to escape your moms looking out for what she believes is your best interests. I would be concerned if she didn't, even though her methods might be a little crude her intentions might be sound. Remember that everyone has an opinion and those are usually based on what they think is correct and how they perceive the world to be, that's okay in reality how does this really affect you? It does if you allow it to otherwise you can respect their right to have a voice and do what it is you are comfortable doing... Good luck !

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  • Tell her he's rich in sweetness and care for her girl :D
    Hopefully that will be a clear and positive message!

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  • 1. Defend your boyfriend.
    2. Tell your mom to back off about the financial situation. He's a full time college student.

    3. Don't bring him around her house.

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  • Tell your mother there is nobility and wealth in poverty that she has lived her life without appreciating. It is your journey, your boyfriend and your love to find be with a guy of your chosen.

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  • If you love your boyfriend and you are sure you want to be with him at all cost, then what your mother says about him shouldn't matter to you, just ignore those comments.

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  • You can't do anything about it, parents have a mind set that children are their private property, and they have inbuilt copy right To show their supremacy over them, whether they (parents ) are right or wrong.

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  • She is being a realist. In 15 years you will realize how right she is.

    If your boyfriend isn't financially secure now, what is his plan? Is he in medical school? Is he interning with a hedge fund? Is he at MIT finishing his PhD in electrical engineering?

    Too many young couples ignore the reality of finance, thinking it isn't important. Then, years after they get married it starts to sink in just how important money is to being happy. The number one cause of divorce is over money.

    Your mother is looking out for you. If your boyfriend doesn't have a credible plan for making it, then find someone else.

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  • Your parents will never agree u getting married to this dude...
    option 1 - leave ur parents and marry him.
    option 2 - leave this douchebag or date him unless u find a rich guy.

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    • My dad actually really likes him, and they have a good relationship.

    • Show All
    • Then why r u giving a flying fuck about it?
      Do as u please... obviously if ur mom is not with ur dad... she is not the person to give u relationship advice.

    • "Dads are useless... its mommies rule in home baby."

      Uh, fuck you very much, dude.

      No.

  • Just ignore it, that's all

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  • Your mom sounds like the dominant type. It doesn't mean that you have to be as dominant

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  • That's pretty harsh.

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  • your mom is a shallow person, ignore her short mindedness

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  • Sorry to say this but you mother's is a bitch!
    You have to just ignore her and tell her not to disrespect him... Ever again

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  • I think I'd just say "thanks but I don't care"

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  • Unless you mooch off your parents, it's pretty rare for someone at university to have strong finances.

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  • Get a richer boyfriend.

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  • Your mother is sexist. A woman should be independent and should not manipulate another person. Just ignore her but listen. Act your own.

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  • why is money a status symbol?

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  • Your mother needs to be bitched slapped. Seriously.

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  • Ask her to give reasons and then tell her she's wrong.

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  • Your mom is a gold-digger. Don't take advice from gold-diggers

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  • Get rid of him.

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  • Wow true definition of a golder digger combine with controlling. Juz remember money can't buy u real LUV. soon he will be working anywayz but if he's a slackerz, than thats when u really gotta start thinken twice

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  • well , find a job for yourself and give him money

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  • depends on you what do you want

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What Girls Said 15

  • If I was in your situation I would just be upfront with her. I'd say something like, "X is working very hard at school. He's been accepted to university and has a very promising future. I find it really frustrating that you're comparing him to X because they're not the same person. Please respect my decision that I want to be with him." I think with parents is that they want their child to be with someone who can provide for them, watch their back, and sometimes that can mean financially. Good luck!

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  • No one has a lot of money while they're studying unless they have super rich parents and they behave like Prince or princess... sorry but your mom is being quite stupid for doing this to you and your boyfriend.. tell her he's still a student and she's being dumb..

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  • Argh sounds like something my mum would say. But she has realised that seeing me happy is more important. BELIEVE it or not but she is just looking out for you. She may be traditional, where men back in the day looked after the woman who mothers his kids. She just wants to make sure that he can financially support you. I know because my mum is like that. And I had the same mindset as you? Till I understood what she meant. She isn't just approaching it with you the right way.

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  • You can tell her that you appreciate her concern, but that you aren't dating him for what is or isn't in his bank account. Also tell her that most college students are poor and that she should stop comparing your boyfriend to your sister's boyfriend because they are in 2 different stages of their lives.

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  • Wow!! He is very young, she needs to cut him some slack! Who has money in college? No one! Its another thing if he is in his thirties and still broke as a joke, but early twenties! Just ignore her, nothing worth fighting over, so ignore it.

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  • He is your boyfriend not your mother's. You should make a choice. There are many poor guys who can make you rich with their love. I think that if you are happy then you are rich. If he can make you happy no matter he is poor or rich.
    P. S Many successful men were poor in past but they managed to get rich because of their will and encouragement of their life partners.
    So follow your dreams and listen to your heart.

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    • I understand why your mother says this, she wants you to be happy in her own way. She doesn't want you to suffer in poverty. But here is huge BUT : That's your life and only you should be a captain of your ship.

  • Ah mothers... sounds like she's going to make a grade A mother in law.
    I've learned with parents and love that you ignore them as much as possible. Don't let fight crop up though. Just say " mmm hmmm. Okay. Whatever mom"

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  • You tell her, you are dating him, not marrying him

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  • That's weird because your mom dosen't date him but you.
    Just don't pay attension to her, because that's your life not hers..

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  • Just ignore her. She can't stop you being with him.

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  • I would stop talking with her until she realizes that what she's doing is stupid.

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  • Uhhh move out? Or ignore

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  • just tell her to fuck off and mind her own business.

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  • I've learned that with mothers they stop being ignorant once you put your foot down in a non confrontational manner that says your a adult. Explain to her what you will be doing and that you are dating and therefore knoe more about him then she'll ever know. Also, he might be poor now like I was 2yrs ago at uni. But my girlfriend supported me which I believe paid off because I earn a lot now. One last thing even if he were rich just remember she would have another problem with him.

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  • dump him or tell your boyfriend to search a job who paid good

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