I am a very shy and nervous person when it comes to dates. What should I do?
And please don't tell me: "be yourself", because you don't understant how hard that is when you are shy/nervous etc. It's practically impossible.


Most Helpful Girl

  • LOL I was in your shoes yesterday! I know how you feel! When I was about to get into that bar, I had to wait outside at first for like 5 mins, to gather my thoughts. I was nervous as fuck. But the moment I got in and saw him sitting across the table smiling at me, I felt better! No, not better, I felt amazing!!! He was very talk-active so he made it easier for me to relax and just enjoy the freaking date! Well we kissed and I'm having a second date with him on Friday, yeaaaaah! :PPP

    • Coongraaats! I'll let you know how it goes. These things are SO stressful for some people, I wish I found it as easy as my friends do :)

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    • That's awesome! :) I kind of screwed it up with my guy. :( But life goes on!

    • Don't worry, I'll probably do the same... :') oh wel...

What Guys Said 2

  • Get out of your head. Stop focusing on them and what they might think, and instead just try:

    enjoy the date

    learn more about them and see whether you like what you're learning.

  • you are too much in your head as the other guy said. you are the female equivalent of these poor losers that can't get laid. just enjoy the moment for a while geez people. i recommend reading the power of now. a bit of mumbo jumbo but good book overall. will give you a good mindset.

    • I know I just don't know how to. I just keep thinking about everything that can go wrong, although it's a really really stupid mindset.

    • as. i. said. read the power of now by eckhart tolle. i can recommend you other books too but they are more male oriented... .

    • I have one day, and don't have the book. No need for the dots, i understood you the first time. But thank you

What Girls Said 3

  • What part of dating or the date freaks you out?
    I find that if you can pinpoint the problem. It's easier to find a solution

    • Not knowing what to say is what freaks me out.

    • if you are not in your head you'll never run out of things to say. just be a genuine listener and keep asking on things of his interest. that conversation never ends.

    • So one problem that people have when they don't know what to say is they keep talking about themselves or they don't say anything.
      Saying nothing is really worse.
      You could be honest and say "oh I'm really sorry, I'm so nervous and I don't know what to say right now"
      This usually helps the other person to initiate the conversation and then you can sorta go with the flow.
      If that's not really your thing talk about books, movies, or hobbies. Ask your date if he saw the latest movie that caught your eye.
      You know your date from somewhere. Talk about that place or situation to start. But make sure you talk about other things too.

  • do your guy know you're shy?
    most of the time just trust him... he'll see you're nervous, so he'll probs make you feel more at ease xD. guys are good at that

    • Good answer

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    • The fact he is shy is good because he might know what to say but bad because two nervous people aren't bound to have a fluent conversation aren't they?

    • dont worry, really xD. in those situations even shy guys forget that they're shy

  • Act how you would act around friends and try to get to know the other person. Keep talking and listening balanced, ask questions and try to remember important stuff about him and his life. If you forget everything right away you'll seem uninterested. It's also good to give a genuine compliment, like "I like your [insert clothing piece]" or "your hobby is (...)? That's so cool!". Make sure you're honest, no need to lie. And don't say anything creepy of course.

    If you feel like you're getting too nervous to function normally, just tell him you're a bit nervous about the date. He'll probably find it cute and try to comfort you.

    In the end you're just going to do some activity with another person to get to know each other better. It's not a big deal, try to see it as just a fun way to spend your evening and to practise your communication skills.