Am I a bad person if I say "i love you" and im not sure if I mean it?

i said the words "te amo" to someone i am not really sure i love, i know i care for her so much, and i honestly do love her, but when she starts to speak about putting money together on a bank, having kids, getting married.. its hard to not feel nervous..

i am 28yo and she is 23yo, we have been together for about 10 months, and i know her for a year or so..

should i feel bad for this? i feel that she is more in love than i do?

i feel awful, all she talks about is when we grow older and im feeling all weird.. please help, i think im hurting this person so much and im scared.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. And if you believe that your feelings will never catch up to hers you should let her go. What is the point of wasting each others time? She can move on and find what she is looking for and so can you. I am kidding, you aren't a bad person, a lot of people do that because it is easier but it is time to just be mature and bite the bullet if it is not going to go anywhere. What favors are you doing for the future?

    • thanks for answering, lol i think i am not a bad person, just a bit coward in this situation, she is just too emotional about everything, breaks my heart to even think about telling her to stop talking about these things you know?

    • Well, I read your responses to the other questions and my point was that if you can see it going somewhere eventually and you might get to the same point of her then that is fine, no need to end it. You have to let her know though, that you can see doing those things with her but not for an "x" amount of time. It is only fair to let her know how long she will be waiting for so she can decide if she wants to wait that long.

What Girls Said 2

  • I think she has her mind more set into the relationship than you do. For only dating 10 months, and her wanting to do all that you mentioned, I would be nervous too. Some people just move faster than others. Obviously you both aren't on the same page, I see you want to take it slow while she wants to rush into everything. Honestly, you will need to talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel. It's best to do it now rather than to wait. Wish you the best with this!

    • thank you for taking the time to answer, i really appreciate your answer,

      I have to be honest, i have not talked to her about this, she just makes me feel soo good, but i don't know what to do, maybe i will change my mind? who knows right?

  • You can love someone without wanting to commit to them.

    • but i think she wants all those things, and i kinda want them too, i just don't know how i feel hearing about them too much,

      i do picture myself with her as an old couple, sharing happy family time, but i don't like to get ahead of myself because in all relationships are problems and differences, i rather take my time to get to know more and more, you know?

    • Then tell her that you can imagine doing those things but you want to take things more slowly.

What Guys Said 2

  • In my opinion it's kind of a red flag to start seriously thinking about kids and settling down after just a meager 10 months.

  • if you're not in love after 10 months then you prolly never will be